Swallow the Truth! Sugar Lies. Panic Ends.

May 2, 2015 in Uncategorized

If you are a sugar addict and you stop eating sugar—you will feel actual physical symptoms of its absence.  And right in that moment it has nothing to do with anything other than that.  Your level of uncomfortability is biochemical.  It’s physical.  And no amount of emotional eating analysis or psychotherapy is going to change that.  Yes–you may eat for emotional reasons but that is not the reason you are feeling sick.   It’s not in your head.  It’s REAL.

Because when you get off sugar, you get sick.  Like actually physically ill.  You may sweat. You may shiver.  And you are almost guaranteed the worst headache of your life.  You literally might even have a temperature and think you have the flu.  Whatever happens it’s all real.  It’s not in your head.  It’s not a delusion.  It’s nothing more than a toxic substance trying to leave your system.  It’s you trying to adjust to not ingesting a drug.  And it will SUCK like nothing else has sucked in a long time.

This is about the time you will tell yourself things like….

It’s not my fault my body needs more food than other people.  I’m just sickly.  It’s how I was made.

It’s not my fault I can’t physically handle diets.  I can’t afford to leave my children motherless if I die from this!  Combo #3 please!

Because you will absolutely think you are dying.  And why shouldn’t you??? I mean dying must feel something close to that, right??

The first panic you feel is self preservation kicking in.  You don’t want to get physically ill.  You have to work.  You have to take care of other people.  You have to LIVE.  And that first level of panic is tied to the physical symptoms that are attacking you right now as sugar is exiting your body. But there is more.   There is a second level of panic that comes.  And it is this second wave that makes you fall off the cliff.  It’s the second level of panic that takes you straight into defeat.

Like someone who steps in an elevator, you are going past the first floor.  The first floor you could have handled.  The first floor you could have dealt with.  I mean being sick is horrible.  The physical sensation that getting off an addictive substance produces can be mind blowing.  But you could handle that.  You could have endured it for a time.  The same way you’ve endured any physical hardship.  Did you die during that cold? That headache?  Did your body disintegrate from that broken leg?

No! Of course not! Because pain has a timeline.  It ends.  Fevers break.  Illness will pass.  And you never tell yourself in the middle of a bad cold that you might as well just throw yourself off the balcony because you’re going to have to live this way forever.  You don’t do that because you know better.  You intellectually KNOW BETTER.  You are sick and it sucks but you will be well again.  It will pass. And if all you ever did was stay on the first floor of this whole drama you would be just fine.

But you don’t.  The button is pushed and onto level two you go.  The second floor of panic.  The second wave.  And THAT, my friends, is an entirely different beast to deal with.  Because THAT one is mental.  Psychological.  And it is the best and most seasoned liar I know.  If you could bottle up what is on the second floor and sell it then whole wars would be won without a single bullet.  It would all be lost in a second by infecting the enemy’s mind with the singular thought of this:


Yep.  It’s as simple as that.  You are going crazy.  Have you ever thought that you were going to go crazy?  Like literally crazy? Because I have.  Maybe you don’t think that’s what you thought.  But if you sat down and really asked yourself why you ate that donut when every fiber of your being did not WANT to….I’d think you might realize that a part of you thought you were going insane if you didn’t.

Because think about it.  What kind of sense does it make for a perfectly intelligent person to live a life of obesity? To break chairs.  And not be able to go to their own child’s school event because they can’t walk from the car to the auditorium.  And even if they could get there, they wouldn’t fit in the chair? Or the bench? Or the pew?

What sense does it make for people who are successful in all areas of their life—career, education, relationships—to suddenly find themselves faced with a cookie and then completely and utterly crumble??

I completed a Masters degree while pregnant twice, moving across the country and living in Alaska.

I’ve raised 4 children alone for the last 10 years.

But I can’t beat a COOKIE??

Does that make sense to you?

There are people who will pay thousands upon thousands of dollars over the course of their life towards diets, weight loss centers, gyms, books, psychics, injections, appetite suppressants and surgeries…and for what?? To lose weight.  The weight they desperately want to lose.  And yet when faced with the food they do not want to eat—they eat it.

What is the reason?? Ask yourself the next time you come face to face with that moment in time what is happening.  Like really sit down and have a conversation with yourself and think about it.  Because if you know and understand intellectually that what you are feeling in your body is temporary (which it is) and that it will pass (which it will)—then why are you giving into it? If you know for a fact that sugar leaving your system will in fact produce these horrible physical symptoms which will absolutely NOT kill you and while horrifying will end in a matter of 1-3 weeks (maybe even less) and be replaced with supernatural strength that you have never felt before—why would you give up??

You would not give up except for one reality.  You have elevated to level two.  And it’s a panic like no other.  And in that moment you truly believe you are going crazy.  And that if you do not eat whatever it is you are craving then you will either die or lose your mind.  And it’s as simple as that.  Your parents and your friends and your children will have to come visit you in an asylum because that is where you will end up if you don’t eat the donut.  You will be rocking in a corner in a straight jacket drooling because you allowed yourself to crack.  To go crazy.  Lose your mind.  And yet all of this could have been avoided if you had just eaten the donut.

As a single mother of 4 kids, I used to often tell myself that I was saving my family.  That as much as I hated the effects obesity had on our lives, it couldn’t be helped.  I couldn’t afford to go insane.  My children needed me.  And if it meant I had to stay obese then so be it.  Because I wasn’t going to allow my children to become orphans over a donut.  If that’s what it took to keep our family together then that’s just what it took.  That was the sacrifice I had to make.  It wasn’t my fault my body was created this way.  I couldn’t help that this was my faulty wiring.  But I was not going to go insane and leave my children to raise themselves. I would just have to eat the donut.  And by doing so, I had avoided a psychotic break.

When you are getting off sugar, two things are going to happen.

One–you will have physical symptoms.  And they will probably last anywhere from 1 week to 3 weeks.  I personally would say day 3 is the worst.  By day 5 to 7 you will most likely start getting the hint of strength that you have never felt before.  And if you make it past day 7 you are probably going to start thinking you’re the Incredible Hulk.  If you aren’t ‘pure’ in getting rid of sugar and only weaning off of it then it will take longer. But one thing I can assure you–the nightmare will end if you just keep refusing to feed yourself sugar.  The pain wont last forever.  The torture is temporary.  And you are NOT the exception.  The one person who this just won’t happen for.    I can say that to you as surely as I can promise you that Monday will come around again.  You don’t have to believe me for it to be true.   But it’s a fact.  Do your own research.  Look it up.  Find out what sugar does to your appetite and how getting off it will do the exact opposite.  I have lived on it and I have lived off of it.  And it’s the difference between being a helpless prisoner and feeling like Superman.   All in the time span of a few weeks.

But level two panic won’t let you see that.  Level two panic tells you that this is going to last forever.  And due to that fact—you’re going to go crazy.  The way a prisoner subjected to endless torture cracks.  This is what the panic will tell you. And it’s THAT panic that you have to get past in order to reach freedom.  I could sit here and tell you that you won’t go insane but you probably won’t believe me.  Not in that moment.  I can assure you that you are not having a heart attack.  That you are not going to pass out.  Your brain is not going to explode.  And you won’t actually have to be carried off in restraints by the police because you lost your mind.  But until you walk straight into that fire and see for yourself you will never know it to be true.  You have to risk it first! Risk insanity!! Risk the psychotic break! Stand before the donut and say to yourself “If I go insane then I do!!”

Because if you can accept two things–the reality that your physical symptoms WILL END and the reality that you will not go insane in the meantime then it’s nothing more than passing the time after that.  Oh it’s hell…but it’s temporary.

I love that movie the Matrix.  Because living a life addicted to sugar is like being plugged into the Matrix.  I can sit here and tell you that you’re in it but you probably won’t believe me.  It’s your reality.  Just like it was mine.  And we believed that we had no control over it.  We even believed that our ravenous appetite was real.  That we were just born loving food.   That it was as much a part of our personality as anything else.  But what if I told you that it wasn’t? What if I told you that  the appetite you are currently experiencing is not YOURS? That your love for food isn’t as real as you think?  That it’s something you’ve been programmed to believe by a drug you’ve been ingesting?  Would you believe me?  Or do you believe that what you’ve experienced is something you’ve created and done to yourself?  That you are responsible for the state you’re in.

What if I told you that you didn’t do this at all.  That you aren’t the one driving yourself to the food. That you really aren’t weak.  That you don’t lack self control.  You’ve just been blinded by a lie.  Would you believe me?

Getting off sugar is like Alice in Wonderland.  Trying to get off of it is like tumbling down the rabbit hole.  You wake up to the Cheshire Cat and the Queen of Hearts and you wonder if you’re going to go insane.  But you won’t.  You’re just waking up to the Matrix.  And unplugging from it is a nightmare.  In the movie, Neo chose to wake up.  And you know what happened to him?  It was horrible!! He had to pull this giant tube out of his throat and unplug all these disgusting things from his body.  And when he was done with that, he basically got flushed down the toilet! Right out of the Matrix and came up gasping for air.  Take a look and see the hell he had to go through to get out of it!

As far as I’m concerned, that’s a video about unplugging from sugar!!  Because I think we could all agree coming off it is pretty bad.  Waking up to the real world without that drug running through your veins feels just like that.  And who wouldn’t want to get plugged right back in and NOT go through that hell?? Does it make sense now why we fail on every diet we start? It’s horrifying trying to break free!  But if we choose to just walk through that—to wake up from it—freedom awaits.

Only you can decide to wake up.  And only if you realize that those two levels of panic are holding you back.  If you can understand those beliefs aren’t based in reality then you will have a chance.  If you can understand that your pain won’t last forever and that you won’t die or go insane—freedom is right around the corner!

Morpheus said to Neo that no one can tell you what the Matrix is.  They have to see it for themselves.  Getting off sugar is like that.  You will never believe the amount of strength you can have towards food until you’ve felt it for yourself.  You think you’re feeble and powerless.  You actually believe other people in this world have something you don’t.  But it’s not true.

You are strong.  And you have all kinds of self control hiding underneath that sugar addiction which you will never believe until you have experienced it for yourself.  And you can know what that freedom feels like.  You can know what it is like to wake up NOT HUNGRY and walk past food without feeling driven to eat it.  But in order to do that you must first accept that you have been in bondage.  A slave to sugar.  And you can be released from that unyielding appetite if you are willing to stop taking the blue pill also known as the donut.  Or the cookie. Or whatever you’re eating that contains the sugar which enslaves you.

Morpheus tells Neo that the world he has been living in is not real. That he was born into a prison that enslaved him. And that if he wants to wake up then he can. He can take the blue pill (sugar) and stay in the Matrix continuing to believe whatever he wants to believe about his circumstance. Or he can take the red pill and wake up to reality.

Neo chose to wake up.  And do you know what his reward was?? Well…we saw the hell that he went through when that happened!! He was basically flushed down the toilet for trying to unplug from the Matrix! And so are we when we unplug from sugar. It’s not easy but the pain doesn’t last forever. So take a chance.  Swallow the truth.  Risk Wonderland.  Risk insanity.  Welcome the  pain of getting flushed into the temporary nightmare that will take you to freedom.  I know.  It’s scary.  But when you’re off sugar, you’re free.

I’ve made more progress in ONE month off sugar than I have in EIGHTEEN on it.

You see, I plugged myself back into the lies of sugar but I have finally and thankfully woken up.  I have had to fight for 18 months to wake up to freedom again and this time I pray I never go back.  If you don’t know that freedom then it’s an honor for me to tell you that it is real.  It exists.  And there is nothing special about me at all that has allowed me to find it.   This freedom is for everyone.

So I can assure you there is hope.

Take the red pill and come with me 🙂

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{ 19 comments… read them below or add one }

Crystal @ serving joyfully May 2, 2015 at 2:51 am

The thing that beats me every time is something you touched on early in this. I could out last the physical symptoms. I’ve done it before. Because, like you say–there is an end in sight.

The thing that beats me every time is that there is no end to this fight. None. It will be an everyday battle for the rest of my life. And with depression too, I just can’t fathom having the energy for such a battle. I know that no matter how hard I fight, no matter how long I last, it only takes one weak moment. One bad decision to undo it all. The hopelessness is what beats me.


Holly from 300 Pounds Down May 2, 2015 at 3:08 am

Yes I know!! And that is the lie. it isn’t endless or hopeless. There is an end to the fight. It is not going to be an everyday battle. I know this for a fact. If we could only believe that in the moment…


Crystal @ serving joyfully May 2, 2015 at 4:10 am

I’ve beat it before. I’ve reached a place with no cravings. But one bad decision, one weak moment is all it takes to go back…and have to start all over. I know it eventually gets easier (though yes, it’s hard to remember that in the midst if cravings), but it’s never completely gone. It’s why so many people regress over and over…because as with any other addiction it’s a daily battle.


Calleigh May 2, 2015 at 4:58 am

I am right there with you Crystal!
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Marie May 2, 2015 at 10:16 am

this was a brilliant inspiring post, just what I needed to read. But why the hour long YouTube lecture on 101 reasons to go vegan?


Holly from 300 Pounds Down May 2, 2015 at 10:31 am

Thanks! But hmm….if there was a video in there about going vegan I didn’t see it. The only videos I embedded were from the Matrix 🙂 Not that I have any issues with vegan!


Marie May 2, 2015 at 11:43 am

Lol, sorry. I saw just after I posted my comment that it was an advertisement only on my PC. Sorry. And thanks for the post!


Lori May 2, 2015 at 10:34 am

This post found its way to me day 3 no sugar literally thinking my head is going to explode. Oh my, good timing. Thank you for journaling for all to see and relate. I must try to sleep now but will be back, much support needed.


Holly from 300 Pounds Down May 2, 2015 at 10:36 am

Day 3 is usually the worst. So hang in there. You will make it!!!


16blessingsmom May 2, 2015 at 1:20 pm

Amen sister! I am going through my own personal sugar detox here, and wow! When I get it out of my system, it’s like freedom. I am still tempted but it isn’t as physical. I have tried to explain this to a few of those “One Bite Won’t Hurt You” people, and they draw the conclusion that I’m crazy. I cannot.do.one.bite. Or the Cookie Monster inside me will come alive and look out! I have lowered my carb intake a bit too, and added a bit more fat, and haven’t been hungry at all. I also seemed to have escaped the hot flashes that were waking me at night, so it is worth it to find the right diet. I am not ready to be totally ketogenic, but have you read Dr. Wahl’s book? She suffers from M.S., and controls the symptoms with a healthy grain-free diet. It’s all very interesting! I am trying to concentrate on what I CAN eat, not what I can’t. Anyway, thank you for your honesty Holly!



Margaret May 2, 2015 at 2:28 pm

I’ve calculated how long it takes me to break the craving cycle here in my 40’s — ten days. The hardest is days 4 and 5. The only way to win this game is not to play (War Games.)


John (Daddy Runs a Lot) May 2, 2015 at 7:30 pm

The…appreciation I have for anyone who has kicked a hard drug habit grows every day because I “only” had to give up sugar. And yes, sugar sinks her claws into you. But it’s not as bad as meth or coke.

But, at the same time, if I’m a meth addict and I feel the need for a fix while I’m just about time, well, I can’t do too much about it – it may not be difficult to get illicit drugs, but it does require planning. I can’t be on my way home, and pull into a gas station & pick up a six pack of LSD. But I can get a box of cookies.

Even if I’m truly hungry, I know cookies aren’t going to make me less hungry…but, in the back of my mind, I know eating a cookie is going to taste good. And “take the edge off,” and, well, I know people who are addicted to heroin who speak of the drug in the same way that I think of sugar.

And I really, really need to watch the Matrix again. It’s a movie that’s been on my “you need to sit down and spend time enjoying it” watch for quite some time.
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Lori May 3, 2015 at 2:49 pm

Question… Sugar urge has declined thank goodness. Aches pains headaches are gone. However, I can not fall asleep. No caffeine in my system for weeks. Just lay there like I just woke up awake. After 3 hrs sleep from a sugar withdrawal Friday night I thought for sure I’d have no problem last night but was wide awake. Could it be clean diet related you think?


Zinta May 6, 2015 at 2:59 pm

Hi Holly,

I am a long time reader, but I don’t really comment much. However, this sugar post was so relevant, I just had to share. You see, I had the exact opposite experience as you – I quick drinking and turned to food. I was so trapped by sugar, for so many years. And I do the same thing as you when I slip – I turn to protein shakes to break free. But! I try to live holistically and chemical-free nowadays, so instead of Atkins I use the IDLife meal replacements. There are only 7 ingredients in them (whey and chia seeds, stevia, xantham gum, dextrose, and natural flavors), they only have 4 grams of sugar, and they are 130 calories. Additionally, the IDLife people have a personal health assessment you can take which will suggest supplements designed to help you with your specifcs health problems. I was introduced to these supplement products by a doctor I met who is married to a Canadian astronaut (I’m originally from Canada) and I can’t believe how much more energy I have, and how it’s helped with my sleep and depression issues. The doctor’s name is Catherine Hansen and she specializes in women’s health and wellness.

Anyway. I’m not affiliated with IDLife, I just wanted to share in case anyone else out there is looking for organic, pharmaceutical quality nutrients and protein shakes. You can take a health assessment at http://www.healthfreedom.idlife.com and check out their weight loss program, which has the shakes, energy drinks, and appetite control. Low sugar! Endorsed my the American Diabetes association and the American Heart association:)


Colleen May 6, 2015 at 3:01 pm

I’ve had a sugar addiction for a long time and can identify with everything in your post. It took learning that sugar addiction is just as bad as any other drug addiction to make me see that I was killing myself with sweets! I’ve finally conquered the sugar, but now at my age I’m trying lose almost 200 pounds with exercise and nutrition. Feel free to look in on my own journey at pickledginger.com

I look forward to reading more from you. You pictures alone are so inspirational and give me hope!



Amy May 7, 2015 at 9:33 pm

Ran across your blog again last week and was reminded of the wrong turn I had made almost two years ago. I had done a sugar detox and won…was living good and then decided I could handle “____”. I don’t even remember what it was but here I am almost two years later at the same place.

So last week, on Wednesday, I began the sugar detox and was doing and feeling great for two days! Then on Friday I had a it just has Splenda food and it seem to go down hill quickly form there…to today where I had a real coke and snack cakes! WHAT IN THE WORLD?!?!?!

The “I will never be able to” always seem to get me. The “Someday I will be able to handle it and just do a quick detox after” lies are there just two days into the breaking! Feeling pretty frustrated today but starting over because I want freedom!


Tara @ wortheveryounce May 8, 2015 at 7:37 pm

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Blods May 20, 2015 at 7:27 am

Hi Holly, How are you? Hope everyone is well, thinking of you, Blods xxx


Nikki Mohamed May 25, 2015 at 6:45 pm

I’m attempting to cut all the sugar from my life. I already took the BIG step a few years ago and stopped adding it to my coffee and tea. I actually gag when someone hands me a coffee or tea with sugar in it. I also cut out the artificial creamers because they have sugars added to them. Straight up half and half or black now. It’s really hard to not eat sugar being married to a pastry chef….even though I prefer salty to sweet. But I’m working on it. Thanks for the low down on sugar, Holly.
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