We’ve been snowed in for the past week. My kids are having their first real experience with snow. Well….the first experience they can really remember at least! Our new house has a large backyard with THE hill. You know the one. The one that everyone wants to sled down when it snows. So the whole neighborhood has been over. Congregating here on our hill. And it’s been this wonderful time where the kids are building snowmen, throwing snowballs and sledding every day in our Winter Wonderland!
And in the past I would have been able to watch them do this. From the window.
But that’s all.
Because if you’ve ever been really big then you know that sledding is not exactly something that is on the agenda. Not to mention what walking in the snow at all is like. I really can’t even imagine how hard it would have been for me to do these things at 417 pounds. Impossible really because I had a hard time just walking on level ground. But last week, I was able to sled and throw snowballs and do all the things I had ever dreamed I could do as a Mom with my children.
So while I’ve grown tired at times of the fight and sometimes questioned what the point is to it all—this week was a good reminder.
This is what it’s all about. THIS. Living life without being held back. This is the point.
And sometimes we need that reminder. Winter gave me that this year. So consider me blessed!
I don’t always want to keep moving forward. I don’t want to always say no to a box of Donuts and a 2 liter of Coke. And I don’t always want to keep pushing through the walls that often go up when the road seems to get longer and my motivation grows weak. But when the sky opens up and snow falls, I want to build snowmen with my children. And fit on a sled WITH my kids. And for the sled to be able to actually move even with all of us on it.
I want to be able to get up again when the sled reaches the bottom of the hill. I want be able to get MYSELF up without an army of people having to help make that happen. Because I have the strength in my arms and the strength in my legs to push myself up. And that isn’t easy to do if you’ve spent all the months before that laying in a chair being sedentary and eating snack cakes. Only it’s hard to remember that in the moment when you’re tired and hungry for snack cakes!
But there is something I want more. I want the strength to climb back up the hill for another round. To spend the day and then the next day playing with my kids. And I want to be able to do those spontaneous things when they happen. Because I had no idea the schools were going to shut down for a whole week and suddenly we’d be transported into a Winter Wonderland. But when things happen, I want to be there. I don’t want to just be watching from the window wishing I could.
It seems there is no way to plan for those spontaneous moments—but there is.
It’s by making the choice every day to get up and go walking when you don’t feel like it. To climb stairs that you don’t have to so that one day you can climb up the snowy hill that you WANT to. It’s saying no to powdered donuts so you can say yes to powdered snowballs you’ll throw with your kids because you have the strength now to do it.
I really needed a snow day and not for the reasons most people do. Not so I could relax and get away from the responsibilities of life but so that I could get back to them. So I could remember why I’m still in the fight. Why it’s worth it.
Because it is.