The Time is NOW—Remembering Christina Newman

October 29, 2014 in Uncategorized

I wrote to you about my friend, Christina, in this post Christina Newman and Her Cancer Fight

I met Christina in 2006 by stumbling upon her Youtube Channel.  In a world where YouTube has now become all about who can make the flashiest videos.  Who can make their channel look like a professional TV series or who can turn their life into a money making business—Christina did the opposite.  She did something that was far less flashy.  She sat down in front of the camera and talked to us.  No pretense.  No facade.   She laughed, she cried, and she bared her soul to the world in a way that made you feel like you were just sitting down for a cup of coffee with her.  In a way that made you feel less alone.

Because she did that, she was able to give hope to people who otherwise would not have ever had any.She was the first person I ever encountered who openly shared all the struggles of weight loss in a way that made me realize I wasn’t crazy.   That there really was someone else who had struggled in the way that I did.  And she did struggle.  With all the same things that all of us do.  Self esteem, feelings of inadequacy, losing and regaining.  She was extremely aware of what it was like to deal with all the issues that someone faces when they struggle with their weight and/or an eating disorder.

But in the midst of all of that, she got cancer.  An extremely aggressive and deadly form of cancer.  I had never heard of it before but thanks to Christina I am now more knowledgeable about it.  She was the type of person who embraced lifelong learning.  She was always reading and researching to give herself the best possible chance of overcoming whatever battle she had to face.  However the most important thing that I believe she did was to share what she went through with others.   And that’s a scary thing to do.   When you bare your soul to the world, you open yourself up to criticism.  And yet she chose to do that because she believed that it was worth it if it helped just one person.  And she helped far more than just one person.

We communicated many times through the years.  After I started my blog, she wrote me several times to encourage me.  She believed that no matter what we go through in life there can be a greater purpose to it IF we use it to help others.  THIS is the most important thing I learned from her.

Everything can have a purpose.  

Everything can be used for good.  Even the worst things you go through in life will have a purpose if you share them with others.

But there was one last lesson I had to learn from her.  And it’s about this weight loss journey.  Something I think we are all at risk of when our desire to lose weight consumes us.    And it’s this—there is MORE to life than what we weigh.

It’s hard because struggling with our weight can be a very serious issue.  It can be a debilitating health problem that can literally consume our lives.  And yet we must find a way even in the midst of that to live anyway.  Even if we are knee deep in the worst part of it.  Even if we can’t seem to lose one pound.  Even if we are at the highest weight we have ever been.  STILL—we must make a choice that we will try to enjoy our life regardless.  Even if we never lose another pound.  We will still live our life and pursue our dreams no matter our size.

It’s important OF COURSE.  It’s a battle we need to fight.  We can’t give up on pursuing our goal of losing this weight once and for all.  But we also  can’t put our life on hold.  We can’t waste our life waking up every day obsessing with what a scale says.  Wasting time being depressed because our pants are two sizes bigger than they were last year.  We can’t let this weight loss journey become the whole entirety of our life.  And we can’t put our life on hold until we reach that perfect weight.

How many times in life have we told ourselves we will go to that event once we lose 20 pounds? That we will visit that person when we’re thin?  That we’ll go on that vacation when we can fit into that bathing suit?  That we will take that family picture when we are smaller?  How many times do we refuse to engage in life because of our weight?

Who says we are guaranteed tomorrow?

Christina said this—The time is NOW.  Because now is all we have.  We can’t wait until tomorrow to start enjoying our life.  We have to live today.  Even in this body.  Whatever the size.

Yes we can work on our weight.  Yes we can keep fighting the fight.  But we shouldn’t prolong the things we want to do because of what we weigh today.  We have to live our life at the size we are now.   We have to embrace life to the best of our ability at every size.  Of course we still fight the battle.  Of course we still strive to be healthy.  But if we wait to accept and love ourselves until we are the perfect size—we may just miss life.  Because life is happening NOW.


And it might not wait for us to get to goal weight.  So  if we don’t embrace it now—we may not get the chance again.

If you didn’t know Christina, let me introduce her to you now.  Someone put together a beautiful video that includes a compilation of many of the videos she did over time.  Take a few minutes to watch it and learn from someone who chose to share her life with others in an effort to give them hope.

Even in her darkest hour, she still shined.  And I believe her light still shines on.

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{ 6 comments… read them below or add one }

Mary Ellen Quigley October 29, 2014 at 2:49 pm

I had no idea she passed. I am so sad. In her short time on Earth, she managed to inspire so many. What a beautiful soul.


Natalie October 30, 2014 at 1:54 am

So sad.

A few years ago I heard the story of a woman who died knowing that her small children had hardly any pictures of her with them because she was overweight and never wanted to be in the photo. She so regretted not leaving those memories for them. Since then I’ve worked hard on overcoming my reluctance to be in photographs with my young children.

It looks like Christina was a very inspiring woman.
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JSP October 30, 2014 at 2:25 am

And if it isn’t you that leaves the world, you are left behind knowing you missed out on experiences you could have had with people that are now gone. It is bad not to leave behind pictures of yourself. But it is also bad to not have pictures with people that are now gone.


Steelers6 October 30, 2014 at 4:33 am

Oh Holly, I missed the post of her passing; I’m so very sorry for this big loss. So very sad.
I had watched the video you posted that may have been one of her very last ones. It was so touching.
Again, so very sorry.


jess October 31, 2014 at 12:51 pm

I started watching some of her videos because of your previous post. Thank you for introducing me to her. What a beautiful soul. She will be greatly missed.


Lynn November 3, 2014 at 3:24 pm

Hi Holly, I have been following ‘fastinggurl’ Christina for over 3 years now and stumbled across her you tube videos in my never ending quest to lose weight! Little did I know that I would end up following her heart warming/breaking story and fight for her life. I don’t always have access to the net so only checked up on her every few weeks and so was devastated to check in today and find that she has gone! Such a beautiful, vibrant, inspiring, determined, funny, ballsy, courageous woman. My heart hurts at her death but goes out to every life that she touched – so many, many thousands. We have been blessed.


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