Battling Halloween and Week 3 Tortoise Power Update!

October 31, 2014 in Uncategorized

I will confess that Halloween used to be my FAVORITE holiday of the year.

Can you guess why??

For about a month prior to October 31, the stores put out massive amounts of candy.  Not “fun size” candy.  Not just even normal size bags of candy.  But mega, gigantic, costco-size buckets of candy. It’s  just about one of the only times of the year where you can go in and buy massive amounts of candy and have NO ONE judge you. No one questions it. No one looks at you sideways. And everyone’s doing it!!

As a binge eater, one of my main binge items was Reeses peanut butter cups and Kit Kats. I often ate on a daily basis 2 large bags of Reeses Peanut Butter cups and 1 large bag of Kit Kats. Reeses being the main entree and Kit Kat the ‘side’ item :)) It’s very demeaning and miserable as a 400 plus pound person to have to walk into the store and buy massive bags of this candy during OTHER times of the year.  During other times of the year,  it’s not socially acceptable to do this.  Everyone knows that you are the one eating it. Especially when you show up 24 hours later for the next ‘dose’ of your addiction. But not on Halloween!!

Halloween is the holiday for sugar addicts to get a reprieve!! It’s like having one day a year where your drug of choice is completely acceptable and even other people who aren’t addicted load up like they are!  It’s as if one day a year everyone in society went out and bought huge boxes of cigarettes whether they were smokers or not.  One day a year the ban on smoking in restaurants and stores would be lifted.  For that one day we all smoked like it was the greatest thing on earth.  No judgement.  For 24 hours, the world accepted it.  But the next morning, they all went back inside and shut their doors.  Returning to their normal, nonsmoking, non nicotine-addicted lives.  The bans went back up on restaurants and life returned to normal until next year.  That’s what Halloween has always been like for me—except with sugar.  It’s the one day a year where everyone in the world joins in on an activity that I was already partaking in the other 364 days of the year. Only it proves to me that other people can literally do this ONE day of the year and then go back to their normal lives.  As if it’s no big deal.

I always loved Halloween because while I was totally miserable living hopelessly addicted to sugar, I still enjoyed the ability to buy my candy in PEACE.  During this time of the year, we can load up daily if we want and no one bats an eye!. Of course you know that you are feeding a nightmare that only continues to grow. Wanting to resist and feeling unable to. But it was nice at least to be able to do it without judgement for once.

I continue to struggle with sugar.  If you’ve followed my blog, you know the dastardly devil still haunts me.  It does not have the choke hold that it once did but it still lurks for me in the corners of my mind.  And occasionally my cabinets.  I used to start buying my Halloween candy the minute they put it out.  I’d go just about every day for my next hit.  Now I make a point to NOT buy candy until the very last minute.  I’m still on the fence about handing it out at all because it triggers me SEVERELY but this year I am.  Whether that’s a good idea or a subconscious way to screw myself up is yet to be determined.

But to all my fellow sugar addicts—may the force be with you! The battle has begun. May we rise tomorrow from the ashes of candy wrappers to fight another day. Some fight ghouls and goblins but we fight the demons of sugar. And to those who come to my door, forgive me. While I will give you candy, it will not be chocolate. Had I bought that for you, it would never have made it to your hands anyway. I would have eaten it long before you knocked.

And to all my dear friends—if you find yourself stealing candy from your child’s bucket (as I often have in the past) just forgive yourself and move on.  Believe in hope.  Believe in small steps.  And know that we will make it.

Of course Thanksgiving and Christmas is right around the corner.  So the candy aisles will return merely traded for red and green colors instead of orange and black.  But thats ok.  We will just suit up and fight on!!  We are not to be defeated!  :)))

Here’s a picture of CJ and Charlotte heading to school this morning in their Halloween shirts!  Take note of CJ’s fake smile as I forced him to put his arm around his sister….UGH…..can we just admit we LOVE our sister already? Is it really THAT hard!  Apparently yes….lol



****Quick Update on my 5 Day Streak-Small Steps WORK!  (Week 3)******

Exercise Goal for this week: After 2 weeks at a half-mile daily, I upped it to 1 mile daily (no pace requirements…just doing it!)

Another week of success! It was tough for some reason still (mentally)  But I made it!  For the first time, I walked the entire neighborhood which is one mile.  Something I felt I couldn’t mentally make myself do 3 weeks ago.  Progress!

Here are my stats:

photo 1-6


Last week, I walked a total of 5.3 miles

photo 1.PNG-11


This week I walked a total of 6.7 miles for an increase of  1.4 additional miles this week!

photo 2.PNG-10


This is the power of small steps.  Three weeks ago, I was doing barely anything at all.  I was maybe walking 2 miles once a week only when I felt motivated to do so.  Due to starting small and doing what I was willing to do instead of what I felt burdened by—I have developed 3 weeks of solid consistency and I’m up to over 6 miles a week.  Woo hoo!

For those of you who are wondering….Allen’s dog walked 0.88 miles this morning.  But that’s just THIS morning.  He actually walked a total of 12.38 miles for the entire week.  Yes—I actually sat down and added up the mileage of Allen’s dog this week.  He is after all pretty stiff competition.  So I have to make sure I’m paying attention!  This dog is still out walking me by double and pinging my phone every time he does. But that’s ok! He got me off the couch and moving. I’ll catch up in time.  Oh….Did I tell you the dog’s name is Gus?  Yep—found that out when he posted it the other day.

The things we do to stay motivated…

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{ 10 comments… read them below or add one }

Alison C. October 31, 2014 at 4:41 pm

No chocolate at my house this Halloween either! My friend who has kids assures me that her kids actually prefer the non-chocolate candy, and even if not, they get plenty of chocolate so I don’t have to feel responsible for providing all the kids with chocolate!

Great job on your walking/turtle jogging! And good job to Gus! What a sweet name! I love him already. 🙂


Margaret October 31, 2014 at 8:14 pm

My system (as a hard core Reese’s junkie) is to take a freezer bag and, when there is a piece of candy that my toxic brain is convinced I will DIE without, I put it in the bag and freeze it. So, I’m not telling myself “no” which can trigger a dangerous backlash, but “not now.” As hokey as this sound, it gets me past Halloween. Then later, I can decide what to do with the freezer bag when I’m not acting like it’s a matter of immediate life and death.
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Natalie October 31, 2014 at 9:47 pm

Halloween is starting to take hold in Australia, at least the shops all want it to! Not a good thing. What does eating junk have to do with honouring the dead anyway? But last night (same as last year) a group of children turned up at our door unexpectedly and I scrambled to find something for them. My kids were out at a disco, so they were actually dressed up a bit but not to ask for chocolate from strangers.
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jenni October 31, 2014 at 11:45 pm

I bought all things that I don t like this year! YAY me, not tempted with out the chocolate junk…


Pj Geek November 1, 2014 at 2:14 pm

When I was in my ‘other time of the year binge mode on Reeses cups’ I would visit multiple stores to buy multi bags. I didn’t want to be embarrassed by going back to the same store. I was guilty of buying out completely a couple of store’s stock of Ben and Jerry’s Coffee Heath bar crunch ice cream. One pint at a time. I did eat chocolate last night, compulsively as well as a few Sugar Daddys. There are a few choice pieces of plain mini Hershey bars and a couple Reeses cups in a jar for my husband and me. I’m thinking about putting a moratorium on any chocolate for a few days since I had my share yesterday. Onward, taking a walk, going to the gym, not what I would have wanted but it’s ovah.
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Mrs. Abella November 1, 2014 at 3:05 pm

We did treat bags for our 3 kids, and that was it. We’re talking tootsie rolls and a few little whoppers and twizzlers and stuff. One serving of tootsie rolls are 13 pieces at 140 calories. It works. We don’t celebrate halloween so there was no candy until Thursday when my 2 stepkids went to visit their mom for the weekend and their dad made up the treat bags to take along. The candy is gone, no worries about eating more. 🙂

Enjoy the snack, get back on track, one step at a time. 🙂
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16blessingsmom November 1, 2014 at 3:09 pm

Ugh, the holidays and food. I ate three Reese’s yesterday. Two before we went trick or treating, then one later when they dumped out their loot. I could have eaten a dozen. I hate being do in love with chocolate, candy, and food. But it is my cross to bear, and there is nothing I can do but fight, and fight I will. With nine kids still here at home, it’s not easy. I want them to have more normal relationships with food, and to make healthy choices as they grow up instead of being too restrictive. This approach seems to work, as the older ones are all healthy eaters. Anyway, Holly, thank you so much for being so honest and sharing your struggles. One day at a time, one temptation at at a time, we can do this!



Anneli Byrd November 3, 2014 at 7:11 pm

Good for you! No chocolate, but yet candy sounds like a good step away from addiction and toward moderation. Way to go! I have a totally random question for you. How is it that your kids don’t have a weight problem? My poor daughter is EXACTLY like me, both genetically and psychologically. I love food so much that every single one of my roommates was “infected” by my passion and gained weight. I’m worried about my daughter. How are y ou protecting your kids??
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Karin Meenan November 4, 2014 at 3:07 pm

Any step forward, no matter how small, is still a step forward.

I can’t have any peanut butter/chocolate in the house. I will binge on it and I know it. We handed out dum dum lollipops, smarties, tootsie roll lollipops, kit kats and starbursts. All candy I have eaten in the past, but ones I can resist. I don’t buy them until 5 hours before trick or treating starts. I also won’t open the bags until 30 minutes before I think kids will start ringing doorbells.
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Living 400lbs November 16, 2014 at 9:02 am

At work people bring in their kids for trick-or-treating. The candy I buy for myself is fair-trade, expensive, and not what kids are used to – so I hit up the dollar store for kazoos, rubber balls, and puzzle toys to give out. No leftovers to give out and the kids enjoy picking out a toy.
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