Food (What I’m Eating this week!) w/ some added self-analysis b/c I can’t resist!

September 16, 2014 in Uncategorized

Before I tell you what I’m eating this week, I want to give a quick background into my food personality and food issues!  I know I said I’d save the overanalyzing for later in the week but I just can’t write this post without giving a general background for those who may not have read much of my blog before.  For those that have feel free to fast forward!

First of all, I identify myself as both a sugar addict and a binge eater/compulsive overeater.  It has taken me many years to figure all that out but if you wanted to label me–there you go!  For those that are not aware, I had weight loss surgery in 2011.  Specifically I had the gastric sleeve which is different from other surgeries.  It removes a very large portion of your stomach and it is a purely restrictive surgery.   For someone with my issue (binge eating) it is probably the best weight loss surgery option.  It makes it virtually impossible to binge.  If you are, however, a “grazer”–someone who eats small amounts but eats constantly all day long—then this surgery might not be as effective.  Grazing is also the reason why many people with the sleeve regain weight.  You may not be able to eat large quantities all at once but if you are willing to be patient and eat smaller amounts all day long—then you could still have issues.

In addition to the above things, I also have numerous “triggers” when it comes to food.  This means that there are certain things (emotionally and psychologically) that cause me to want to eat when I’m not truly hungry .  It also means that certain TYPES of food may trigger me to eat more as well.  Here are two examples of my triggers :

1.  Food that contains sugar triggers cravings (biochemical reactions)

2.  Food that comes in pieces (One might think M and M’s, chips or jelly beans but other foods that should be considered healthy also trigger this for me such as nuts, grapes, and  cherries)  I have MAJOR issues with food that comes in pieces!  Once that hand to mouth behavior starts happening with food it sets something in motion that is beyond me!

I mention the above things to just give you a few reasons why food for me is usually not simple.  It is like trying to design a menu for someone with multiple food allergies to make sure they don’t have some reaction.  Only  my “allergies” are both biochemical (such as sugar sensitivity) and they are psychological.  This is also why most diets have never worked for me.  I am just too darn complicated it seems to fit into a general plan that would work for most people!

Over the past 3 years I have devoted a tremendous amount of time to finding out what works for me.  The closest thing to the “trick” for me on what really works is summed up in a post I wrote here—>Sugar Addiction, Detox and Gaining Control over food  but I warn you–the post is ridiculously long.  I will tell you, though, it sums up almost all my issues in one post and pretty much explains what works for me on a daily basis when I am in control of my food.

To give a quick summary—this is what works for me:

  • Liquid during the day (protein shakes…specifically ready made Atkins shakes b/c they have close to no sugar and I don’t have to prepare them—even preparing food causes me issues—the more time I spend preparing food the more I get drawn into it!)
  • Simple food in the evening….. not a lot of ingredients combined….repetitive meals on automatic with little variety.  Eating virtually the same thing every day


That in a nutshell is how I lost 240 pounds.  That is how I finally broke the hold that food had over me.

BUT because I am human and because food is the #1 temptation for me, I am always susceptible to getting thrown off by some trigger, some event, some emotion etc.  And I definitely got thrown off track the past year.  I found myself not sticking to what worked at all.  Trying at times to get back to it but not being successful.  That is where the 50 pound regain happened.  The good news is that I have completely stopped the continual gaining of weight.  I am, however, trapped in a repeated cycle of losing and gaining the exact 10 pounds over and over again.

I’m not complaining.  I’d rather lose and gain the same 10 pounds repeatedly for 6 months than just gain another 50 pounds in 6 months.  Option A is better but it is still frustrating!

Once again I lost 10 pounds a few weeks ago with the above plan and I was totally on track.  Then something happened and I went off track.     I actually know EXACTLY what screwed me up.  It all started innocently enough.  It even started out with good intentions!  But as usual my psychological issues got their little hands all over my thought life and derailed me! So I spent the last 2 weeks gaining back the 10 pounds I had just lost.


So I am once again back to where I started.  But that’s ok!  The past few days I have gone back to what works.  And on Thursday, I will detail what happened to throw me off track and how I plan to hopefully avoid it in the future.  I think it is important to note here that while I did gain back 10 pounds and once again screw up—that is still better than past years.  There have been times throughout my life where I go off track for an entire year before I ever get control again.  There have been whole spans of time where I never even knew what derailed me.  While I continue lately to be trapped in the movie “Groundhog Day’ forced to live the same scenario over and over again (losing and gaining the same 10 pounds) I take solace in knowing that I have managed to stay within this 10 pound range never allowing myself to go wildly out of control like I did in the past gaining a hundred or more pounds before I reeled myself in.   And as I mentioned the 50 pound regain was frightful enough for me!!  So I won’t complain about the 10!

So now I present you with what I am eating this week:


My trusty ready made atkins shakes that have served me well the past 3 years




After having eaten boatloads of chicken, pork chops and steak—I found myself switching to fish recently.  I used to never eat fish.  I am also a terrible cook.  Fish is literally one of the easiest things to make.  It is not difficult so any excuse I make about not being able to cook it is just absurd.  I do often buy Tilapia and bake it.  Having said that, I also like these a lot.  They are tasty and easy to make.  Very low carb as well.



Salad and fresh tomatoes from Amanda’s garden.  I eat this with the fish.  I am still using Bleu Cheese dressing with as low sugar/carbs as I can find.



Here is the gigantic water bottle I found at TJ Maxx.



It is made by a company called ‘bubba’ and it holds 72 oz.  I thought maybe if I filled up something this huge I could motivate myself even more to get back to drinking tons of water.  I have been horrible about drinking water the past year.  And it’s actually a really important factor for me in staying on track. So the first day I filled up this water bottle, I still barely drank any of it.  Today, however I am doing great.  Practice makes perfect!

(Please pretend you did not see the pop tart box in the background.  They are HORRIBLE for anyone. They have so much sugar it should be illegal.  Let’s pretend that I didn’t buy those.  Besides that was SO last week of me when I was behaving badly, ok?? Instead focus on the oranges off in the corner!)


Charlotte got a new water bottle too!



Charlotte slicing up an apple to take with her to school for snack.

(Please STOP looking at the pop tarts on the counter!  I am totally getting rid of them TODAY!)

IMG_3040 IMG_3042


And that’s the end of my food post!!  Hope you are all doing well!

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{ 9 comments… read them below or add one }

Tess September 16, 2014 at 6:53 pm

LOL…what poptarts??!!! 😛 Great post, sounds like you have today under your belt, good for you!! I really like your idea of simple, few ingredients dinners. I hope you share some recipes in the future!


LHA September 16, 2014 at 6:55 pm

I really appreciate your reports on what you are eating and how things are going. I find a lot of inspiration in your experiences. Specifically, thank you for reminding me that gaining and losing the same ten pounds over and over is SO much better than just gaining continuously. It is so foolish to feel like a failure day after day for not eating perfectly, and it just derails future attempts to get back on track. Thanks for a great blog.


Christy September 16, 2014 at 8:18 pm

I appreciated your recap, and I never thought about “pieces” being a trigger! I’m going to have to think about that a little more as I am just beginning to analyze my food issues. I’m so happy I found your blog and I am sending good wishes to you on your lifetime of health. I’m striving to heal myself and learn how to maintain my weight, so thank you for taking the time to share your experiences and inspire me.
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Natalie September 16, 2014 at 11:33 pm

That “pieces” thing is interesting, it had never occurred to me either. It may be a problem for me too.
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Siobhan September 17, 2014 at 2:50 am

Me too on that not realizing that about eating pieces. You are so right, though. Once I start with the hand to mouth thing, it’s difficult to stop. Thanks for the insight!
Siobhan recently posted..You say tomato …My Profile


Vicki W September 17, 2014 at 11:28 pm

I think you & I could have been separated at birth Holly! We have so many of the same issues (food, exercise, “analysis paralysis”) it amazes me. I wanted to share a book I just discovered that is blowing my mind. It really gels with what you & your brother have discovered about sugar/carb addiction (which is proving to be the Holy Grail for me!). It’s called “Grain Brain” by Dr. David Perlmutter. I am combining your methods (the Atkins Shakes, avoiding sugar, etc) with his advice to see if I can get control of my life again. Don’t know if you’ve read the book, but I highly recommend it. Love your blog. My best to you & your family!


Steelers6 September 18, 2014 at 3:05 pm

You are cracking me up about the Pop Tarts!! Haha I guess I personally feel you can give your kids a junky snack once in awhile (as long as it is something you can let alone.)

Oo produce from her garden! Score!
Charlotte is so cute. Cool shoes, too!

Your home looks lovely, Holly.


Amanda September 18, 2014 at 5:51 pm

Being able to identify triggers is HUGE but then to be able to break the patterns even better.


Karthik September 16, 2016 at 1:56 am

What an absolutely wonderful post Holly. I completely agree that when food is broken down into pieces and you get used to the repeated motion of eating….its amazingly hard to stop. What do you think of the idea of eating multiple times per day but in smaller quantities?


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