I used to always start a diet on Monday.
It seemed like Mondays were always full of so much promise.
I enjoyed looking forward to Mondays actually because on Fridays the Mondays would give me hope without pressure.
On Friday, Monday seemed sooooo far away.
And the best part about that was the fact that I could eat whatever I wanted.
In fact…..I SHOULD….I would tell myself.
After all—this is my last chance.
The Last Supper so to speak
And there is no guilt at all about it!
“I don’t have to feel guilty about this donut. It’s Saturday. Now is the TIME to eat what I want. I owe it to myself. And by Monday I will be ready. I will be mentally prepared to change. But now…now it’s time to enjoy my donut guilt-free.”
Then Monday would roll around and I would be fine until maybe 11 am.
Sometimes I would even make it all the way through Monday.
But inevitably it would happen
The realization that I had to stick to a diet OR ELSE
And if I failed—it was OVER
Panic would set in and I could feel my resolve slipping away.
Before I knew it…..I was eating another donut. Oh let’s be real….the BOX
Only this time it wasn’t guilt free. So I would barely enjoy it
What followed was the usual berating of myself and how I will never ever ever be able to lose this weight
Followed by an acceptance that this is just who I am
I am just a big person.
I love food.
I enjoy eating
And maybe I should stop being so hard on myself….ya know??
Maybe I should learn to love myself AS-IS
And then I would grab another donut….with a little less guilt
And then another….
The next few days felt like freedom. Freedom from having to diet. Freedom from having to try
Until Thursday rolled around. And then I started wondering….should I try again?
By Friday, I would choose a different diet and say “That’s it! This time I will stick to the diet”
I can do this!!! I really can!!!
And you know what???
I will start—-
The Last Supper ritual would begin again…..
And it all repeats itself
So welcome to Monday!!
I don’t do that anymore. I mean don’t get me wrong. Monday does give you a fresh start and it is important to get off on the right foot if we can. But Monday sometimes carries a little too much weight. Who says you can’t start on a Wednesday? Who says you can’t begin again on a Thursday? The idea that Monday we will somehow be better equipped to reject a donut than we were the day before is really ludicrous when you think about it. I never met a Monday that injected me with supernatural power I didn’t possess on Sunday. If I have a hard time saying no to a donut on Friday—then Monday isn’t going to be any different.
This is what I’ve learned. Monday is just another day of the week. And there is no reason to start anything on a Monday. There is also no reason to wait until Monday to start. If something is worth trying, it’s worth trying today.
We don’t need to lie to ourselves. We don’t need to pretend Monday has super powers. We don’t need to act as if there is some unwritten rule that deems Monday the only day to try. But that doesn’t mean we need to heap guilt on ourselves if we decide to try on Monday and then screw it up an hour later. What we need to do is accept that there are things we need to work on. And waiting to work on those things only makes them harder. Maybe it’s the fact that we try and screw up that keeps us always in the “waiting room” mode. Always thinking we need to take a few days before trying to start again.
Today I want Monday to just be Monday. No added pressure. I just want it to be another 24 hours. Another day to make an effort. But I don’t want it to be the only day of the week where a new beginning can happen.
Instead today is just TODAY!!! Not Monday.
Not Day One of another diet.
It’s just NOW
It’s just THIS MOMENT
With no pressure that means I have to outperform any other day of the week
That I have to somehow be stronger than I was yesterday.
Today is just today. And that is one more day to give my best effort—whatever that will be.
If I screw up then I screw up!! But who cares what day it is. We start again as soon as we can and move forward.
Making every day and every moment the very best time available to puruse our dreams!!