Hope Endures

June 9, 2013 in Uncategorized

Some days you feel like there is no hope

Because the circumstances around you seem hopeless

Because the situation within you feels restless

I used to wake up every morning and my first thought

Was a Donut

A bag of Reeses Peanut Butter Cups

A gallon of mint chocolate chip ice cream

This morning I woke up and I threw on my tennis shoes

And went to the gym

Then I drove by Starbucks to grab some coffee

And come home to write you, my friend

But 22 months ago, I woke up

And couldn’t even put on tennis shoes

Because my swollen feet would not fit in them

So instead I struggled to even sit up in bed

It might take me 15 minutes of maneuvering to get myself

In an upright position

I would have to sit on the edge of my bed for 5 minutes

To catch my breath

Then I would carefully stand up

The mornings were rough on my knees and feet

I would hobble to the bathroom each step inflicting shooting pains

I’d spend another 20 minutes trying to get dressed

Sweat pouring down my face

As getting dressed was difficult

It required more stamina than I really had

And I would do all this as quietly as I could

So as not to wake the children

Because I wanted to get up to Walgreens before they woke up

So I could stock up on candy

Boxes of donuts

Gallons of ice cream

So I would have the “strength” to get through the day

So I would have “hope” that I could live through it

My cravings owned me

Food dominated me

I’d arrive at Walgreens and pray I’d make it to the shopping cart

Which I used more as a walker than anything else

My cashier was used to me

So I didn’t have to fear too much judgement

Though it was still embarrassing

When I threw 5 bags of candy, 2 gallons of ice cream, 3 boxes of donuts

On the counter

She would help me with the case of Pepsi

As I couldn’t lift it myself

But that same cashier sees me now

When I buy a water

And she says to me, “Wow…you’ve changed!”

And here’s the thing

How do you get from where I was

To where I am now?

How do you go from waking up dreading walking

To waking up with the desire to go walking?

How do you go from barely being able to fit your feet in shoes

To throwing them on with no effort?

Well it doesn’t happen overnight

It happens little by little

Step by step

And it happens by first simply laying there in your bed

And being willing to embrace the possibility

That hope exists for you

Outside of your situation

In spite of your circumstances

It doesn’t matter how many times you’ve tried and failed

It doesn’t matter how far gone you think you are

Our hope endures REGARDLESS of what WE do

Our hope endures IN SPITE of what we think

Reality is not as it seems

Reality is that hope exists right now in this moment

And it’s not your job to walk a mile right now

It’s not your job to have a perfect day of eating today

It’s your job to just have faith

However small

That things CAN change

If you just believe

That hope is for everyone

Not for me

Not for the lucky ones

BUT FOR EVERYONE

If you feel hopeless today, then do me this favor

Just consider for 30 seconds

That there is hope

photo-243

That’s all you have to do

Get comfortable with the idea

That in time things can get better

Because they can

If you believe

Trust me on this

It’s a truth you can count on

Because no matter what comes our way

No matter how bad it seems

No matter what has happened

OUR HOPE ENDURES

Now

And forevermore….

 

Source: raebear.net via Elizabeth on Pinteres

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{ 6 comments… read them below or add one }

Linda Kuil June 9, 2013 at 11:41 am

Breaking any challenge down into manageable pieces can help you accomplish ANYTHING!!
Linda Kuil recently posted..LI Half Marathon- The good, The Bad and the FuglyMy Profile

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Nikki Mohamed June 9, 2013 at 1:11 pm

So excited for you, Holly! I noticed your progress board and you are only 60 lbs out for your ultimate goal. SO proud of you.

We made it back and I’m finding it extremely difficult to break bad habits (of my husband’s junk food shopping addiction) and to say NO to myself . But started walking to and around the park 3 blocks from our house with my son in the mornings when it’s still cool. I got this. <3
Nikki Mohamed recently posted..T Minus 2 Days and Counting…My Profile

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Holly from 300 Pounds Down June 9, 2013 at 4:02 pm

Thanks! Are you back in Texas?

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Crystal @ Serving Joyfully June 10, 2013 at 1:02 am

I know I’ve said it before but you are such an inspiration! Just reminds me that there is hope. That maybe, just maybe, I could do it too…

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Lori June 10, 2013 at 2:04 am

Some days I still want the donuts. Or at least, I think I want the donuts.
Lori
Lori recently posted..The First CasualtyMy Profile

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Amanda June 10, 2013 at 5:00 pm

Thanks, Holly. I needed this today. My heart has been breaking lately, and I feel so hopeless. I know in my head that the future still has bright possibilities, but my heart is just not convinced.

I am in the beginnings of a divorce. I feel like an idiot. And even the fact that I have lost 50lbs since April 1st (sugar free, high protein, low carb) does not ease the pain or the emptiness I feel.

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