Still Here

April 19, 2013 in Uncategorized

My beloved readers and friends!!!

I just want you to know I am still here.  I have no energy at the moment to write a real blog but I have had so many wonderful people write to ask me if I am ok.  I want you to know how much you mean to me.  I would not be where I am today without you.  I have lost 225 pounds because of the love, support and encouragement I have been given.  I lost 3 pounds in the past week and I’m doing what I can to get back on track.  I’m struggling mostly with depression and anxiety.  I don’t have it in me to write a whole post so instead I’m just throwing this up to say…I’m still here!! I will try hard to get something up on Monday.  Never doubt for a moment that you are important to me.  Believe it or not, you are truly influential in my life.  I thank God every day for the people I have met through this blog.  Thank you for your support.  You inspire me every day to keep going.

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{ 28 comments… read them below or add one }

sandie April 19, 2013 at 11:39 pm

Don’t give up – it must be hard to be an entirely different person – but YOU CAN DO IT! sandie
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Mari April 19, 2013 at 11:52 pm

Hang in there! You’ve done so great and I’m proud of you for losing another 3. I’m having a hard time getting back on the wagon myself and wish I had never let myself even start that slippery slide off of it.
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Staci April 20, 2013 at 12:00 am

Hey, baby girl. If you haven’t read my Thurs and Fri posts, you need to. I could use your prayers!!! So glad to see a post from you, even if it’s just to know you are okay! (((hugs)))
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LHA April 20, 2013 at 12:24 am

Depression and anxiety are a powerful negative force. However, you are strong enough to combat it and triumph. I hope you are getting proper medical/psychiatric care because it is so necessary! Do whatever it takes to combat this double whammy and get your life back on track. Look what you have already been through and how much progress you have made. You are incredible.

Lots of us with food and weight issues suffer from depression and/or anxiety. I know for me they just seem to go hand in hand. I do understand how excruciatingly hard it can be to overcome. You feel you are constantly swimming through molasses or worse. You think this will never end and there is no hope on the horizon. I am pulling for you! All good wishes being sent your way. You are strong, you are beautiful and you will triumph over this.

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AD April 20, 2013 at 1:36 am

Hope to see you back soon Holly! Hang in there – it’s always darkest before dawn.
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Karen April 20, 2013 at 1:39 am

I’m sorry you are having a down time. Same here with me. I can’t seem to get enough sleep and I’m tired all the time. Hoping my meds will kick in soon. I hope you feel better soon.
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Cindy April 20, 2013 at 1:40 am

You know I’m praying for you!!! <3
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FeeIsMe April 20, 2013 at 2:04 am

Holly, I truly hope you that will feel better soon! Thinking of you and sending you good vibes! And a ((((HUG))))

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Marc April 20, 2013 at 2:28 am

Holly, as I understand the bypass surgery you had, the body is often unable to absorb all the nutrients in food after the surgery. This can often lead to vitamin deficiency. One overlooked vitamin that all people need is B3 or niacin. Deficiency of B3 can cause severe depression. Follow the youtube link and watch the other youtubes discussing niacin and depression. Here is the link:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xqOCRzkhZu4
Cut and paste it as I do not believe it will become a hyperlink. Here is another useful link – How to Take Niacin (Vitamin B3) for Depression and Anxiety http://foodmatters.tv/articles-1/how-to-take-niacin-vitamin-b3-for-depression-and-anxiety
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Mimi April 20, 2013 at 2:31 am

Hang in there!!
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Ronda April 20, 2013 at 12:55 pm

Hang in there! Thinking of you and hoping you’re back to your old, cheerful self in no time.
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Katie April 20, 2013 at 2:12 pm

You’re doing amazing! I love your story, your spirit, your mothering and your faith. You are beautiful inside and out! Just know that a lot of people come here because you are a REAL person, we see your highs and your lows and relate to them in our own lives. I am so impressed by your commitment and just enjoy reading about your progress. Running for me has been a wonderful outlet for stress and way to gain fitness, so seeing you do the 5k was really exciting. Sending up some prayers for you!

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annamarie April 20, 2013 at 2:28 pm

Oh Holly…..I am so sorry to hear that you are currently in this state right now. But as always, you have always moved forward and strong, and this too will pass. How long, well it is up to you. But if anything you have so many who love you and support you in real life and also in cyberspace. The most important thing is to trust God, he is the only one who is with you night and day and he would never let you down nor leave you.
I pray that you are quickly back to your wonderful self.

Many hugs,
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Tess April 20, 2013 at 4:20 pm

Great to “see” you again! Hang in there! Sometimes writing things out helps with my depression, so know that we’re here for you!! ~tess

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Pam April 20, 2013 at 4:38 pm

You are important in my life too. Your lawn looks great, so happy your dad came to visit and has been so helpful. I hope you can overcome the depression–I care!!

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Nikki Mohamed April 20, 2013 at 5:09 pm

You have no idea how hard I’m pulling for you, Holly. I was in the lowest funk ever last week (and I managed to pull myself out by my fingernails just to get this damn house done.) Of course, a single argument with any of my angst-y teenagers can send me spiraling back down for hours at a time — until I remember that I’m only a month away from leaving here and rejoining my husband and son in TEXAS! (And we’ll only be about 3 or 4 hours away from you, so keep GOING! I am totally making plans to come see you before 2013 is over! (Please don’t have a restraining order made out. I’m completely harmless.) You can do this! I can do this! WE can do this.

***My son just came thru to tell me I look stupid doing cheerleader moves from a seated position in front of the PC…..He’s 14. He could probably do a Herkie the normal way without wetting his pants.*****
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Holly from 300 Pounds Down April 20, 2013 at 9:03 pm

I’m literally so excited at the thought of you moving to Texas I am doing cheerleading moves too!!!!!!!!!!! SO HAPPY!

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Karen P April 20, 2013 at 8:06 pm

Keep going, Holly. Glad you are working, walking, and moving through this. Hang tight. I like the lyrics from Imagine Dragons- It’s Time “The path to heaven is paved with miles of cloudy h*ll”. So true. Keep going. You’ll see the light again. Karen P
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Meta April 21, 2013 at 9:17 am

Glad to see you are hanging in there. You will overcome this too.

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Carrie April 22, 2013 at 5:54 pm

You are so freaking awesome.

225 pounds? You. Are. AMAZING.

And such a bright spot. Love, love, love.
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stafsi April 23, 2013 at 6:27 am

Depression and anxiety are a sign that you are entering a period of mourning. This means that in effect you are saying goodbye to your old self, habits, way of life and are moving on to a new relationship with yourself and your body and a new place in the way you position yourself in life. People don’t realize that often, drastic changes in one’s life (for the better in your case) trigger anxiety and depression simply because all movement forwards entails a form of separation from an older position, or an older self and that this is also a form of death or loss. Having been through this process myself, i can truthfully say that you are entering a truly new phase in your life. Embrace your feelings and just try to see what they mean to you. And feel ensured that these feelings are a truly positive sign that you are moving forward! Remember that the darkest hour is just before dawn. You are nearly there!

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Stephanie April 23, 2013 at 2:45 pm

Keep going Holly! You are an inspiration and you are strong! I hope that you are feeling better soon and can get past this!
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Sunny April 23, 2013 at 4:49 pm

Just stopping by to let you know I do know how you feel. Depression is nasty and sneaky. When you feel like life should be just about perfect, and you can’t get the emotional energy to move.

I used to make a daily list, things I had to do before I could just “be”. It helped a lot, both with staying active (which helped my depression) and also allowed myself to understand that this was real and hard. It helped me treat depression as a real illness, vs. a social stigma.

Basically, it was a tool. I could usually get through the list, but some days I couldn’t. Just like with any other disease, there are good days and bad. My to do list, helped me get through all of them, and let me rest (physically and emotionally) when I needed it.

You are doing great, and you can beat this.

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Flaming June April 24, 2013 at 9:07 pm

I am praying for you, Holly. I have been there and I know it is not easy. Hang in there, Champ!
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Amy April 24, 2013 at 10:23 pm

I hope you feel better soon Holly. I understand how you must be feeling. Looking forward to hearing from you again.

thinking of your all the way over in Australia 🙂

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Jane t. April 25, 2013 at 1:34 am

Thinking of you and hope you’re doing better soon. Your blog has helped me a lot! Prayers and peace:)

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Valerie April 25, 2013 at 12:57 pm

Thinking of you, Holly. I hope you are getting the rest and recouperation you need.

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Ana April 25, 2013 at 11:47 pm

Hi Holly, reading your blog has inspired me. My doctor says I have to lose about 65 pounds and I really don’t have the will. I joined Planet Fitness a month ago and had only gone once until yesterday. Today I went again, but right before I left I was looking for a site that gave an example routine to follow and I stumbled across your blog. I know that you might not be emotionally up to writing for your blog right now but know that with what you’ve stated so far you have changed a life. I hope you feel better so that soon I can hear from you again.

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