Welcome to The Pit

February 7, 2013 in Uncategorized

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Welcome to the pit

Have you been here before?

I have been here many times

In fact

I used to live here

 

The pit is small and cramped

There is not much space

And yet so many of us are down here

With more falling in every day

 

It is a lonely place

The Pit

Even though so many of us are here

And even though we see each other

We often suffer in silence

Down here in the dark

 

You can tell I used to live here

From the etchings on the wall

Things I would write

To pass the time

During lonely nights

Like

……Holly was here……

And

……Tell them I loved them……

 

 

I didn’t always live there in the pit

Sometimes I’d just fall in for a few days

In the beginning

I even had the strength to climb out

 

But the more often it happened

The deeper the hole seemed to get

The darker it became

And the weaker I grew

 

Then one day

I fell in

And that was it

I was gone

The pit is like that

You can have it all together

You can be doing just fine

A year could have gone by

Without even a misstep

And maybe you even start to think

That the pit is gone

 

IT’S NOT

 

The pit is always there

It might have been covered up

With some leaves and sticks

To camouflage it

But if you go walking down that path again

You’ll find it

And when you start to slip in

You’ll know it

You’ll feel yourself falling

Back down into familiar surroundings

And there you are

Laying on the cold dirt floor again

Looking at the old drawings on the wall

You had written long ago

 

It’s dark down here

If it rains

The sky will open

And pour down raindrops

Into the pit

But the water

Fills up the hole

Until soon

It is almost above our necks

And we wonder if we’ll drown

 

The pit is cold

It is lifeless

And always dark

It offers no warmth

And no hope

For a brighter tomorrow

 

This is the trickery of the pit

Because really

The light is there

You just can’t see it

You’re too far down

And because you’ve grown weak and tired

At how many times you have fallen

You convince yourself

That the light just can’t shine

That far down

 

Of course we all know

The way to the pit

It is lined with candy wrappers

And empty boxes of donuts

Old pizza crust and soda cans

It is strewn with a line of good intentions

And missed workouts

Layered in regret

And doused in fatigue

The fatigue that surrounds you

When you’ve tried and failed

Too many times

 

Once I lost 104 pounds

By crawling my way out of the pit

Clawing my way out

It took awhile

But the further I climbed

The more light I could see

And when I got to the top

I just knew

I would never fall in the pit again

 

I made sure to put flags

All around the edges of the pit

I made sure to have flares

Flying above it

That way I could never miss it again

There would never come a day

That I would fall in by mistake

For having not seen it

 

Then a funny thing happened

I dove into the pit

All on my own

Not because I didn’t see it

Or forgot where it was

Not because my memory had failed me

Or I was deceived into thinking

That it wasn’t the same pit I had fallen in before

No—I knew where it was

Flares and flags lit the way

And I dove right in headfirst

Soaring down on wings made of

Big Mac Containers

And Twinkie wrappers

 

The pit was much deeper this time

I flew past the 104 pounds I had lost

Gaining every one back

And went on to gain 200 more

My pit would be deeper this time

Darker

Colder

And I realized the further you go

The more deadly it becomes

 

Once I would only lay on the floor

Feeling hopeless

But the deeper you go

The more dangerous the pit becomes

It’s not just lonely and damp

In its deepest part

It gets closer to the core

To a deep burning flame

Like a hot lava that boils

As it prepares you for hell

The hell you will live in from that point on

The heat that will burn through your life

And strip you of every last thing you care for

It will rob you of your pride

It will steal from you the very life you hold dear

And in the end

It will squeeze the air right out of your lungs

Until there is nothing left to do

But wait for death to take you

 

It’s hard to believe

That anyone can survive the pit

Not just once

But multiple times

It’s even harder to believe

You could go so far down

That the flames touch your face

And yet you survive

 

But here is the truth

There is more than one way

Out of the pit

People will tell you there isn’t

They will tell you THEIR way

Is the only way

Some will insist that your pit

Is their pit

That they know how you feel

That they know why you are there

 

But this is reality

The pit is a destination

We all may end up

But how we get out

Will be up to us

 

I can tell you how I got out of the pit

How I’m still getting out

But no one can tell you

That my way is the only way

Because it’s not

 

I had surgery

I eat low carb

I avoid sugar

But is that the only way out of the pit

No–it’s a path

And it’s still not the way out

Unless you follow the light

Because many have fallen

With better plans than mine

Because the way out of the pit

Is not merely through actions

Through menu plans or workout schedules

All important rungs on the ladder

But not enough

On their own

 

Because you need the light

The hope of a new day

The promise that dawn will break

And the darkness will fade

That’s what we need

No one can climb that ladder

Without the light

That’s what feeds your soul

And puts a new song in your life

It gives you the strength to go on

When your footing is shaky

When you slip and have to reclimb

IT gives you the courage to keep going

 

The pit holds many

And it welcomes all

Those who fell in from food addiction

Or those who have fallen to alcohol

Or drugs

It takes those suffering from depression

And it will gladly take whatever person

Dives in no matter what their vice

Or issue may be

 

The pit does not discriminate

It will take whoever is willing

To succumb to its grip

But the pit knows

There is One greater

There is One whose love is deeper

Whose grasp is stronger

Than any pull the pit may have

Over our lives

 

And He is there

Ready and waiting

He hears when you call

He’s no stranger to the pit

For He has been there too

And like many who went willingly

Into the pits

SO DID HE

 

He dove into the pit

Headfirst

On purpose

Though nothing sent him there

As it sent us

It was not an addiction that caused Him

To jump into the pit

Instead He went there

On purpose

TO FIND YOU

 

He knew the pit was dark and lonely

And He knew

That we could not get out

Unless He came to save us

Now He’s been there

And paved the way

He knows what it’s like

How lonely it is

How hard it is to climb out

He wants you to know

He experienced it all

So you won’t ever think

You are alone

 

I’ve lived years in the pit

So I know what it’s like

But I am here to tell you

That there is a way out

Just find one thing to do

One small choice to make

30 seconds of exercise

Or taking a vitamin

Who cares how small it is?

Just try it

That is your first step

Out of the pit

 

Then run to the One

Who will never let you go

The One who will pave the way

For you

All the way to the top

He is there

He is waiting

He is the ladder that leads

To Redemption

 

So climb

There are those who climb with you

Join us

You’re not alone anymore

Now look to the sky

And seek out the light

It is there

That small sliver you see

Peering through the darkness

Focus on that

Because when you do

It will grow

It will shine

It will break through

On rays of hope

To help you rise again

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{ 9 comments… read them below or add one }

Samantha @ 24 to 30 February 7, 2013 at 1:07 pm

Great post. It really is like a pit or falling off the cliff.

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Crystal @ Serving Joyfully February 7, 2013 at 3:01 pm

Great post as always. I live in the pit 🙁 It’s not a good place to be…
Crystal @ Serving Joyfully recently posted..Leaving a LegacyMy Profile

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annamarie February 7, 2013 at 3:14 pm

Funny how you seem to know what is going on with me or what is in my mind. Lately I have been wondering where am I? I am still trying to figure it out but I must say thank you. Thank you for reminding me who I really need to reach out to.

may you always be blessed.
annamarie recently posted..Where Am I ?????My Profile

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Cathy February 7, 2013 at 4:53 pm

Behold, for peace I had great bitterness; But thou hast in love to my soul delivered it from the PIT OF CORRUPTION; for thou has cast all my sins behind thy back. Isaiah 38:17 Holly, we have something to smile about! God bless you!

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Jack Sh*t February 7, 2013 at 8:02 pm

This post was confusing to me because we have a literal pit in our backyard. I don’t know why I had that thing dug; I was thinking it would be cool to have a lap pool that went straight down, to save space, but I never got around to finishing it…
Jack Sh*t recently posted..Red Light. Green Light.

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Holly from 300 Pounds Down February 7, 2013 at 11:04 pm

hahahaa

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Nicola February 7, 2013 at 10:24 pm

It’s dark down here, but I’m starting to see the light. Thanks as always for a great post Holly.

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Cindy February 8, 2013 at 3:48 am

Holly – Do you recall the cost of food on a daily basis when you weighed over 400 pounds? How expensive was it to maintain that weight? I am curious but you of course are in no way obligated to answer my question!

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MandaPanda February 8, 2013 at 5:32 pm

I think this is an apt analogy. I think it’s also important to note that those of us who have crawled out of the pit may often visit and look down and see if there’s someone within arm’s reach that we can help with the last few steps.
MandaPanda recently posted..Good IntentionsMy Profile

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