Welcome to the pit
Have you been here before?
I have been here many times
In fact
I used to live here
The pit is small and cramped
There is not much space
And yet so many of us are down here
With more falling in every day
It is a lonely place
The Pit
Even though so many of us are here
And even though we see each other
We often suffer in silence
Down here in the dark
You can tell I used to live here
From the etchings on the wall
Things I would write
To pass the time
During lonely nights
Like
……Holly was here……
And
……Tell them I loved them……
I didn’t always live there in the pit
Sometimes I’d just fall in for a few days
In the beginning
I even had the strength to climb out
But the more often it happened
The deeper the hole seemed to get
The darker it became
And the weaker I grew
Then one day
I fell in
And that was it
I was gone
The pit is like that
You can have it all together
You can be doing just fine
A year could have gone by
Without even a misstep
And maybe you even start to think
That the pit is gone
IT’S NOT
The pit is always there
It might have been covered up
With some leaves and sticks
To camouflage it
But if you go walking down that path again
You’ll find it
And when you start to slip in
You’ll know it
You’ll feel yourself falling
Back down into familiar surroundings
And there you are
Laying on the cold dirt floor again
Looking at the old drawings on the wall
You had written long ago
It’s dark down here
If it rains
The sky will open
And pour down raindrops
Into the pit
But the water
Fills up the hole
Until soon
It is almost above our necks
And we wonder if we’ll drown
The pit is cold
It is lifeless
And always dark
It offers no warmth
And no hope
For a brighter tomorrow
This is the trickery of the pit
Because really
The light is there
You just can’t see it
You’re too far down
And because you’ve grown weak and tired
At how many times you have fallen
You convince yourself
That the light just can’t shine
That far down
Of course we all know
The way to the pit
It is lined with candy wrappers
And empty boxes of donuts
Old pizza crust and soda cans
It is strewn with a line of good intentions
And missed workouts
Layered in regret
And doused in fatigue
The fatigue that surrounds you
When you’ve tried and failed
Too many times
Once I lost 104 pounds
By crawling my way out of the pit
Clawing my way out
It took awhile
But the further I climbed
The more light I could see
And when I got to the top
I just knew
I would never fall in the pit again
I made sure to put flags
All around the edges of the pit
I made sure to have flares
Flying above it
That way I could never miss it again
There would never come a day
That I would fall in by mistake
For having not seen it
Then a funny thing happened
I dove into the pit
All on my own
Not because I didn’t see it
Or forgot where it was
Not because my memory had failed me
Or I was deceived into thinking
That it wasn’t the same pit I had fallen in before
No—I knew where it was
Flares and flags lit the way
And I dove right in headfirst
Soaring down on wings made of
Big Mac Containers
And Twinkie wrappers
The pit was much deeper this time
I flew past the 104 pounds I had lost
Gaining every one back
And went on to gain 200 more
My pit would be deeper this time
Darker
Colder
And I realized the further you go
The more deadly it becomes
Once I would only lay on the floor
Feeling hopeless
But the deeper you go
The more dangerous the pit becomes
It’s not just lonely and damp
In its deepest part
It gets closer to the core
To a deep burning flame
Like a hot lava that boils
As it prepares you for hell
The hell you will live in from that point on
The heat that will burn through your life
And strip you of every last thing you care for
It will rob you of your pride
It will steal from you the very life you hold dear
And in the end
It will squeeze the air right out of your lungs
Until there is nothing left to do
But wait for death to take you
It’s hard to believe
That anyone can survive the pit
Not just once
But multiple times
It’s even harder to believe
You could go so far down
That the flames touch your face
And yet you survive
But here is the truth
There is more than one way
Out of the pit
People will tell you there isn’t
They will tell you THEIR way
Is the only way
Some will insist that your pit
Is their pit
That they know how you feel
That they know why you are there
But this is reality
The pit is a destination
We all may end up
But how we get out
Will be up to us
I can tell you how I got out of the pit
How I’m still getting out
But no one can tell you
That my way is the only way
Because it’s not
I had surgery
I eat low carb
I avoid sugar
But is that the only way out of the pit
No–it’s a path
And it’s still not the way out
Unless you follow the light
Because many have fallen
With better plans than mine
Because the way out of the pit
Is not merely through actions
Through menu plans or workout schedules
All important rungs on the ladder
But not enough
On their own
Because you need the light
The hope of a new day
The promise that dawn will break
And the darkness will fade
That’s what we need
No one can climb that ladder
Without the light
That’s what feeds your soul
And puts a new song in your life
It gives you the strength to go on
When your footing is shaky
When you slip and have to reclimb
IT gives you the courage to keep going
The pit holds many
And it welcomes all
Those who fell in from food addiction
Or those who have fallen to alcohol
Or drugs
It takes those suffering from depression
And it will gladly take whatever person
Dives in no matter what their vice
Or issue may be
The pit does not discriminate
It will take whoever is willing
To succumb to its grip
But the pit knows
There is One greater
There is One whose love is deeper
Whose grasp is stronger
Than any pull the pit may have
Over our lives
And He is there
Ready and waiting
He hears when you call
He’s no stranger to the pit
For He has been there too
And like many who went willingly
Into the pits
SO DID HE
He dove into the pit
Headfirst
On purpose
Though nothing sent him there
As it sent us
It was not an addiction that caused Him
To jump into the pit
Instead He went there
On purpose
TO FIND YOU
He knew the pit was dark and lonely
And He knew
That we could not get out
Unless He came to save us
Now He’s been there
And paved the way
He knows what it’s like
How lonely it is
How hard it is to climb out
He wants you to know
He experienced it all
So you won’t ever think
You are alone
I’ve lived years in the pit
So I know what it’s like
But I am here to tell you
That there is a way out
Just find one thing to do
One small choice to make
30 seconds of exercise
Or taking a vitamin
Who cares how small it is?
Just try it
That is your first step
Out of the pit
Then run to the One
Who will never let you go
The One who will pave the way
For you
All the way to the top
He is there
He is waiting
He is the ladder that leads
To Redemption
So climb
There are those who climb with you
Join us
You’re not alone anymore
Now look to the sky
And seek out the light
It is there
That small sliver you see
Peering through the darkness
Focus on that
Because when you do
It will grow
It will shine
It will break through
On rays of hope
To help you rise again

















{ 9 comments… read them below or add one }
Great post. It really is like a pit or falling off the cliff.
Great post as always. I live in the pit
It’s not a good place to be…
Crystal @ Serving Joyfully recently posted..Leaving a Legacy
Funny how you seem to know what is going on with me or what is in my mind. Lately I have been wondering where am I? I am still trying to figure it out but I must say thank you. Thank you for reminding me who I really need to reach out to.
may you always be blessed.
annamarie recently posted..Where Am I ?????
Behold, for peace I had great bitterness; But thou hast in love to my soul delivered it from the PIT OF CORRUPTION; for thou has cast all my sins behind thy back. Isaiah 38:17 Holly, we have something to smile about! God bless you!
This post was confusing to me because we have a literal pit in our backyard. I don’t know why I had that thing dug; I was thinking it would be cool to have a lap pool that went straight down, to save space, but I never got around to finishing it…
Jack Sh*t recently posted..Red Light. Green Light.
hahahaa
It’s dark down here, but I’m starting to see the light. Thanks as always for a great post Holly.
Holly – Do you recall the cost of food on a daily basis when you weighed over 400 pounds? How expensive was it to maintain that weight? I am curious but you of course are in no way obligated to answer my question!
I think this is an apt analogy. I think it’s also important to note that those of us who have crawled out of the pit may often visit and look down and see if there’s someone within arm’s reach that we can help with the last few steps.
MandaPanda recently posted..Good Intentions