Onederland is that magical place that many people talk about when losing weight
A destination many of us are trying to get to
A little place called “Under 200 pounds”
All along the way I’ve set goals for myself
Big goals that were more like milestones
And then small goals in between
These are the major milestone goals I set for myself
- To get under 400 pounds
- 100 pounds lost
- To get under 300 pounds
- 200 pounds lost
- Onederland….to get under 200 pounds
- Goal weight
Now in between all those goals
I set mini-goals
Chipping away…10 pounds at a time
So 19 months ago, I started this journey
And today I stepped on the scale and it said this
I kept looking at it in disbelief
I just never really thought I’d see that number
I hit 200 pounds when I was pregnant with Savannah back in 1996
And I never saw the 100′s again
Savannah is turning 17 years old next month
It took me close to 17 years to get back under 200 pounds
But I did it!!
I’m going to admit that I never really thought I ‘d get this far
When you’ve failed as many times as I have at losing weight
I think it’s understandable why it would be hard to believe it could happen
For close to 20 years I’ve been trying to lose weight
Trying and failing
It is just exhausting to get your hopes up and fail again
It’s discouraging to never be successful at any diet you try
I’d lose some weight and gain it all back
I never was able to stick to any diet longer than about 4 months max
When I had weight loss surgery, I hoped I would lose 100 pounds
Sure I started this blog and set a goal weight
“300 Pounds Down”
It sounded good and was a nice little faraway fantasy
And yes–I felt sure I would lose some weight
How much I didn’t know
Just enough to be able to walk without significant pain would be nice, I thought
But deep down did I ever really believe I’d see Onederland?
I don’t think so
When I made it into the 200′s, I still struggled mentally to believe I was there
Savannah has pointed out to me numerous times that I always say I’m in the 300′s when I’m not
For example, when I was 223 I would tell her I’m 323
Just the other day I kept telling her I was 304 pounds
She kept saying “Mom you are in the 200′s not the 300′s”
Just this mental slip that would come out
I wonder if the same thing will happen now that I am in the 100′s
Today I went to Old Navy to try on clothes
I like to do this just to see where I’m at
I don’t buy them….I just try them on
Today I squeezed into a size 14
They didn’t fit because I had to break a sweat to get them on
I mean a full sweat!!!!
But I got them up, buttoned and zipped
They were very tight
BUT THEY WERE ON
And it’s like some strange surreal alternate fringe universe I’m living in
I started out around a size 36/38
Now I’m comfortably in a size 16
And you know what’s crazy?
My wedding dress was a size 16
So I’m now around the weight I was when I got married
That’s kind of nuts
And to think that in the coming months I will be in a size 14???
I remember being in high school and buying a size 14 pair of jeans
How is this possible?
I’ve been thinking lately about what is different this time
What is it that has allowed me to keep going
Keep moving forward even when it seems bleak
Why after 20 years am I finally seeing progress?
And I realized that a key part of that
Has been learning to walk by faith and not by sight (2 Corinthians 5:7)
Because if there is ever a scripture that fits weight loss
It is THAT one!!
How many times do you do everything “right”
Eat within your calories
Check every box as “Mission Accomplished”
Only to see zero results?
Only to feel no progress?
It takes blind faith to keep going in those times
When the scale says you have lost no weight two weeks in a row
You have to walk by faith and not by sight
Not by what you see on the scale
Not by the feelings of discouragement rising within
You have to ignore your feelings
Ignore the scale
And choose to believe that your actions DO make a difference
No matter what it might look like in that moment
When you are slower than everyone else
When a 75 year old man passes you on the walking trail
When you’ve been working for over a year and still seem to be the weakest person in the class
Yes even then–you have to just say “WHO CARES!!”
And keep going
20 years of diet failures might look on the surface like the last word
How can someone who failed so many times find any level of success?
I’ve tried every single diet that I’ve ever heard of more than once
Read every book
Tried every pill
And ordered every late night infomercial product
And two decades in a row I just regained everything I lost
But every time I screwed up, I thought the game was over
I let each mistake and failure define me
Now I know to keep pressing forward no matter what
And if I fail….to get back up
“Even though you fall seven times, God will help you to rise again” (Proverbs 24:16)
Why do we quit when we fail and screw up?
Why do we believe the lie that screwing up on our food means it’s over?
Or a week feeling depressed laying on the couch
Means we are losers who can never U-Turn our lives into victory?
So we aren’t perfect
We were never meant to be
And in those moments of self defeat
I know that I cannot pull myself out of it
I cannot break a binge mode
I cannot muster up the motivation to go to the gym
But GOD can!
And each time I ask Him to help me
He shows up!
Sometimes I must wait
And suffer through a slump
Sometimes I have to be patient
Keep knocking on His door and saying “Help!!”
But in the end, He will deliver me
And help me rise again!
If I just refuse to lose hope
He proves His promises are true!
That He will complete in me the good work that he started 19 months ago (Phillipians 1:6)
Don’t feel condemned or judged by anyone or anything
I screw up all the time
More times than I can count
I do things that are wrong even when I know what is right
And in spite of all that…God keeps giving me mercy and grace
And a new day to start fresh!
Forget the past and know your future
We are more than Conquerors..
We are Overcomers!
Getting to Onederland has been the trip of a lifetime
But the most important thing I’ve learned along the way
Has nothing to do with the food I eat
Or the workouts I do
The most important thing I’ve learned
Is very simply this
Don’t Give Up