The kids and I decided to head out to a park near the house on Sunday
You can hike different trails that are all about 1 to 2 mile loops
The first time I ever went to this park was several few years ago
And it was before I started losing weight
I had not hit my highest weight yet but walking was painful both in my feet and with breathing
I was trying my best to hang in there and do things regardless of how difficult it was
But we had to turn around and go back
I remember at the time being absolutely positive that we had walked at least 5 miles
As it turns out, we had gone maybe a quarter of a mile and it was a horrible experience
We spent the rest of the time just trying to get me back to the car so I could calm my racing heart
And we went home determined to never ever do anything like that again!!
Now this same exact trail feels totally different!
We even jogged half of the loop!
The same loop that had almost killed me a few years ago
Now felt comfortable and dare I say…enjoyable?
For the first time I was able to notice my surroundings
It’s actually a pretty nice park with some great trails
I think I might even start going there regularly to work on jogging
There is plenty of shade with all the trees
Birds chirping and butterflies
I never even noticed that before!!
I was too knocked out by the pain in my feet or labored breathing
To even see the beauty surrounding me
How often in life does the physical pain of obesity overwhelm us?
How many times have I missed out on the beautiful things in life due to physical pain drowning it out?
It’s hard to enjoy yourself when you can barely breathe
It’s impossible to really enjoy the environment surrounding you when your feet are throbbing in pain with every step
But this how life often is for us
It could be physical pain or it could be emotional pain that keeps us from seeing what is out there
Pain used to be loudest voice in my life
But not anymore
Sometimes when I’m walking
Whether it’s for exercise
Or just in the grocery store
It will dawn on me once again
The absence of pain
The glorious, amazing, blessed absence of pain
I think a great many people in this world have absolutely no idea
How physically painful being morbidly obese really is
Losing weight is about so much more than fitting into a lower pant size
It’s about being healed from constant physical pain
That to me is better than any piece of clothing I might fit into!
So to hike with my kids
To run ahead of THEM instead of the other way around!
To NOT be the one saying “let’s turn back”
To actually find it enjoyable and be able to notice my surroundings
Instead of noticing my pain
It’s all one more miracle!