Finish the Game

Life happens

I used to say this to myself

All the time

In regards to the fact

That I had just eaten a Snickers bar

Followed up by a milkshake

Followed up by a Big Mac

Life happens

Doesn’t it?

 

I felt guilty

Foiled again!!

Diet ruined!

Off the rails once more!

But to combat the guilt

I would rewrite history

I would pretend that I hadn’t just

Eaten all of that

In some unplanned fashion

I would tell myself

I deserve to treat myself every now and then

As if that was the plan all along

And besides

I do deserve to treat myself!

Don’t you agree?

 

The next day

Things were tougher

I was just going to do it that one day

Just that one time

Yes I screwed up

But life happens

 

I can’t help that

I can’t make the rain stop

And the wind not blow

Life happens, you know??

Snickers bars happen!

Milkshakes happen!

 

I can’t control LIFE

I’m just some little stick figure

In a car

On the game board of Life

And someone out there

Is spinning the wheel

Of my fate

It’s not me!

I just landed on that space

And the card said

“Eat one Snickers bar and a milkshake”

So it isn’t my fault

Life happens

 

And now the third day

And guess what?

Life happened again….

In the form of a Quarter Pounder with cheese

And a Fish Filet Sandwich

Extra Tartar sauce please!

 

And a Coke

No diet this time

Give it to me straight

Fully loaded!

And give me the dozen cookies in a box

Oh a 13th one for free??

Make it CHOCOLATE!

 

Things are getting bad now

I just hate it

When life happens

The guilt is washing over me

Drowning me

Why does this have to be so hard??

 

Trying to be perfect all the time

REALLY SUCKS!

“No one is perfect”

I tell myself

This isn’t your fault

You were being unrealistic

You set the bar too high

Let’s just eat our food now in peace

And we’ll worry about this tomorrow

Tomorrow is another day, right?

Yeah that’s it…

Tomorrow…

 

Tomorrow never came

But next year did

And the year after

And the year after that

But tomorrow

It never showed up to play

Because the game of life

Rolled a Kit Kat bar

And after that

A Butterfinger

 

I was trapped in this game

For well over 20 years

If not most of my life

The game that would never end

 

Have you ever seen that movie

Jumanji?

Alan and Sarah are kids

And they are playing this game

That turns REAL

Alan rolls the dice

And gets sucked into the game

 

Sucked into a  jungle

Where he has to live his life

Being chased by lions

And hunted

Like prey

 

For 26 LONG years

He lives inside this game

Because his friend got scared

And just closed up the game

And left

Leaving him trapped there

 

26 long years

Being hunted

26 long years

With no escape

 

It was a lot easier

For Sarah to just

Close up the game

And pretend it never happened

To make up some lie

Or story

Or fabrication

For why Alan disappeared

But at the end of the day

There was only one way

To truly free him

 

FINISH THE GAME

 

 

Sometimes I feel like Alan

Like I got sucked into a game

Where I had to exist

In a jungle

Where I was stalked

Day and night

By a vicious and merciless

Hunter

Who wanted to kill me

 

That’s how it feels

When you are in the food

So deep in it

That every day of your life

Is like a deep dark jungle

With no escape

 

Like Sarah

I told myself lies

Things to make myself feel better

So I didn’t have to

Keep playing the game

 

I would tell myself things like

I deserve to treat myself

With the sugary poisonous foods

That I’m addicted to

That only serve to take me deeper

Into the jungle

 

I would tell myself

That trying to live a life

Sugar free

Life a life

Without Reeses

Just wasn’t realistic

And that I was putting too much pressure on myself

That my expectations

Were just too high

I would tell myself….

 

Tomorrow

Tomorrow

Tomorrow

 

But tomorrow never came

Because I shut up the board game

And stuck it on a shelf

And just said

Life happens

 

Here’s the thing

Some of what I told myself was true

Things do happen in life

Out of our control

 

DIvorce

People die

You lose your job

Your house floods

BLEEP HAPPENS

And it’s not your fault

You just have to deal with it

 

And we DO deserve to treat ourselves!

Just not with poison

How about a pedicure?

Or buying yourself that book?

Or going to a movie?

Maybe you need to buy yourself some flowers

Or spend time reading all the scriptures

That tell you how much

God loves you

And wants to treat you too!

 

But 28 grams of sugar

In one snickers bar?

168 grams of sugar

In a large triple thick milkshake

From McDonald’s?

That wasn’t treating myself

That was SELF HARM

 

168 grams of sugar

Is not a treat

So if I’m going to do it

I’m going to call it what it is

And stop pretending

I’m doing myself

Some kind of favor

 

No one is perfect

OK that one is true

If you think you aren’t going to have days

Where you eat the wrong thing

Including the milkshake

Then you’re wrong

You probably will

I have

 

But once you’ve done it

Don’t tell yourself

TOMORROW

Because trust me

Tomorrow never comes

 

Tomorrow is the same as

Slamming the Jumanji board game closed

And leaving Alan trapped in the jungle

For eternity

 

If you screw up

If life happens

If you realize you’re not perfect

And you roll a milkshake

Or a Big Mac

Well then be honest with yourself

Forgive yourself

AND THEN ROLL AGAIN

 

Because tomororow is a lie

Tomorrow means never

Don’t put the game back in the box

ROLL NOW

 

There is only one way out of the jungle

And it will involve work

It will be scary

But it’s the only way to be free

And it’s this

 

FINISH THE GAME

 

I’m finishing my game

I know it’s not easy

I know it’s hard

I know life happens

And we’re not perfect

 

But finishing the game

Not waiting for tomorrow

It’s worth it

So get out your dice

And roll

Because this time

We’ll finish it

Together

 

AND WIN