Exercise/Workout Update and Mission 5K

So it’s time to update you all

On my workout plan

Exercise has been a key part of my life

For the past 17 months

My brother told me from the beginning

That it would have to be

And while I did not enjoy the idea of it

I have learned that the importance lies

More in the mental rewards

Than anything else

 

I really never could have believed

How important exercise is for the mental game

Until I experienced it for myself

But if you struggle with depression and anxiety

If you struggle with a “defeated” mentality

That always tells you what you can’t do

If you struggle with procrastination

And sticking to something long term

Then exercise will shock you

As going a long way

To cure that

 

It doesn’t have to be a marathon

Or some intense hour long class that you attend

I started with 30 seconds

And went from there

The point for me is not always what I do

But that I do it

Something

Consistently

To keep me on track

 

You have to switch it up

You have to be willing

To reassess

To do whatever it takes

To keep yourself interested

Motivated

On track

 

For awhile

I walked every day

Making it up to 5 miles

Then I had the knee injury

So I switched to Planet Fitness

And rode the recumbent bike for awhile

But I got bored with this

And as I lost more weight

My knee could handle more

So I decided to try Crossfit

 

That seems weird to say

To go from a recumbent bike

To Crossfit

But that’s what I did

Because I wanted to

I just wanted to try something

Completely out of my comfort zone

Something so crazy

That I could barely believe I was doing it myself

And that’s what I did

 

Through Crossfit

I met some amazing people

And it’s been a wonderful experience

I’ve been going there about 7 months

And in that time

I have found strength training

To be a key player in helping me

Function in life

Carry cases of water and dog food bags

Go up stairs

Pick up my children

Lifting weights makes a difference

For every day life

 

But here I am at another Crossroads

Because one of the long term plans

I had all along

Was to do a 5K

It’s not something I really want to do

To be honest

Running has always been something

That I have struggled with

 

From the time I was a child

I have believed that I cannot run

I always threw up in gym class

When they made me run

I feared it

And while I have tried to overcome that

It still seems to own me

To be this ‘thing’ that I can’t conquer

 

I have gotten better

I learned to slow down

And go at MY pace

Not the pace the world tells me I should go

I had to go back to the 30 Seconds mentality

The idea that we do what WE can do

No matter how small

No matter how slow

Just so long as we are still moving

And making progress

 

But every time I gain a little ground

With running

I seem to quit

And go back to what I am comfortable with

Never really making any progress

Because running makes me uncomfortable

I still believe deep down inside

That it’s something I can’t do

 

So Lee decided we should do a 5K

The end of February

Because we’ve talked about it

But I’ve never committed

And now it’s time

To just do it

Because if I don’t try

I never will

 

I’m not saying that I’m ever going to do

The Disney Half Marathon

Or Triathlons

Like Lee has

Because honestly

I’m not sure if that’s going to be my thing

 

I could be right in feeling

That it’s not for me

Or I could just be thinking that

Because I lack confidence

 

There is one thing I know about myself

FOR SURE

And it’s that I do NOT always know myself !!

Sometimes I feel something because it’s true

Sometimes I feel something because it’s false

And I don’t always know

When my mind is lying to me

 

So it’s time to plow into my fear

To conquer it

To learn to run

And it’s not easy

It’s not comfortable

And I hate it

But it has to be done

I have to conquer this

Because no longer will I allow my fears

And my doubts

To win

 

In order for me to train myself

For this event

I have to get back in Planet Fitness

Back on that treadmill

And focus on running

Every day

I have to get out of my comfort zone

Once again

And back to trying something

That I never believed I could do

 

So I’m taking a break from Crossfit

Because while I love it

I just can’t do both

I don’t have the time

Exercise has a place in the plan

But it can’t take over

And become my whole day

I was trying to do too much

Going to both places

But for me it was too much

And if I try to overwhelm myself

I just end up quitting altogether

And that’s something I can’t risk

 

Crossfit is on the other side of town

And lately they have been doing a lot of construction

It was always a long drive for me to get there

Because I don’t live near the box

But I was willing to do it

Because my Coach is awesome

And the people there are too

But sometimes in life

We have to evaluate what we need in that moment

And where we go from here

 

I have a lot of responsibilities

My kids

My job

And I have to do what is best for me

Sitting in 2 hours of traffic every day to get to Crossfit

And then still have to go to Planet Fitness

To train for this 5K

Is not really working for me

I feel I have been putting my responsibilities

With my kids and my job

On the back burner

And that can never be good

 

Exercise has a place

A top priority

But like food cannot own us

Neither can anything else

That is why exercise has to be something

That we can fit in to our life

Easily

If we make it too difficult

Too far to get to

Too far to drive

Too complicated to fit into the schedule

Then the mind comes up with reasons

Why you can’t get it done

And those reasons become legitimate

So then you quit

 

I have been finding it more difficult to get to Crossfit

Because of the construction

Yesterday I sat in traffic for 2 hours going no where

Even the exit was totally blocked off when I got there!

One more reason to quit and go home

Planet Fitness is 2 minutes from my neighborhood

And it does not involve the highway

I can get there and back easily

And still fulfill my responsibilities at home

 

As much as I love Crossfit

It’s not working for me right now

Because of the traffic

Because of the distance

And because of the fact

That I have to train for this 5K

As well

 

I still plan to do Crossfit style workouts

From home

Because that is possible too

By that I mean

Strength training will be part of my plan

I don’t want to lose that

But for now

I will have to find a way to incorporate that

Into my home workouts

And while I will miss the fellowship I had there

I know this is what needs to be done

At least for now

 

So I’m training for my 5K

At planet Fitness

 

And as it stands right now

I can jog about 1 mile

SLOWLY

I’m not sure how I will ever

Jog 3 miles without stopping

That may not happen before this 5K

But only time will tell

 

I won’t lie

I’m not excited about it

I feel very uncomfortable

But sometimes that is a good thing

When we break out of our comfort zone

And try something new

So here I go

Mission 5K is ON!!

 

My brother made me this picture

To go with our new adventure

And when I saw it

I said

NOO!!! I look horrible in that picture!!

He took this one of me

When I went to visit him in Florida

For the wedding

 

That is what I look like when I run

NOT PRETTY

That is how I feel when I run

NOT PRETTY

Every time I run

I want to throw up

I frown

I feel disgusting

And I hate it

Plain and simple

Will that ever change?

I have no idea

But this picture is real

It sums up my feelings on the subject

So there it will stay

 

I don’t believe that you should ever choose

An exercise that you totally hate

Because you need some level of enjoyment

To pursue it over the long haul

 

But I also know

That when I start something new

Some new form of exercise

Something that pushes my limits

And pushes me out of my comfort zone

I almost always hate it

At least at first

 

So I’ll push through

And press on

Maybe one day

I won’t hate it anymore

Anything is possible, right?

 

It doesn’t mean

I won’t go back to Crossfit

It doesn’t mean

I will pursue other 5K’s

It just means that for now

This is what I am doing

 

I think having a goal

Something to work towards

Something new and different

To push myself towards

Keeps me motivated

Keeps my body guessing

As to what I am up to next!

 

So here we go

February 23

Run 4 Hope 5K

And the name is fitting

Run 4….HOPE

Because I started with 30 seconds

And a smidgeon of hope

That my life could change

17 months later

It brings me to the moment

When I find out

If I can run 3 miles without stopping

To me…an impossible dream

But then again

That word “impossible”

No longer seems to scare me anymore

I’ve finally learned

That many things in life

We thought were impossible

Are in fact

VERY possible!!

Everyone needs hope

So while I may hate running at the moment

I do NOT hate the idea

Of running for HOPE

If there is anything worth running for

THAT IS IT!