Exercise/Workout Update and Mission 5K

January 18, 2013 in Uncategorized

So it’s time to update you all

On my workout plan

Exercise has been a key part of my life

For the past 17 months

My brother told me from the beginning

That it would have to be

And while I did not enjoy the idea of it

I have learned that the importance lies

More in the mental rewards

Than anything else


I really never could have believed

How important exercise is for the mental game

Until I experienced it for myself

But if you struggle with depression and anxiety

If you struggle with a “defeated” mentality

That always tells you what you can’t do

If you struggle with procrastination

And sticking to something long term

Then exercise will shock you

As going a long way

To cure that


It doesn’t have to be a marathon

Or some intense hour long class that you attend

I started with 30 seconds

And went from there

The point for me is not always what I do

But that I do it



To keep me on track


You have to switch it up

You have to be willing

To reassess

To do whatever it takes

To keep yourself interested


On track


For awhile

I walked every day

Making it up to 5 miles

Then I had the knee injury

So I switched to Planet Fitness

And rode the recumbent bike for awhile

But I got bored with this

And as I lost more weight

My knee could handle more

So I decided to try Crossfit


That seems weird to say

To go from a recumbent bike

To Crossfit

But that’s what I did

Because I wanted to

I just wanted to try something

Completely out of my comfort zone

Something so crazy

That I could barely believe I was doing it myself

And that’s what I did


Through Crossfit

I met some amazing people

And it’s been a wonderful experience

I’ve been going there about 7 months

And in that time

I have found strength training

To be a key player in helping me

Function in life

Carry cases of water and dog food bags

Go up stairs

Pick up my children

Lifting weights makes a difference

For every day life


But here I am at another Crossroads

Because one of the long term plans

I had all along

Was to do a 5K

It’s not something I really want to do

To be honest

Running has always been something

That I have struggled with


From the time I was a child

I have believed that I cannot run

I always threw up in gym class

When they made me run

I feared it

And while I have tried to overcome that

It still seems to own me

To be this ‘thing’ that I can’t conquer


I have gotten better

I learned to slow down

And go at MY pace

Not the pace the world tells me I should go

I had to go back to the 30 Seconds mentality

The idea that we do what WE can do

No matter how small

No matter how slow

Just so long as we are still moving

And making progress


But every time I gain a little ground

With running

I seem to quit

And go back to what I am comfortable with

Never really making any progress

Because running makes me uncomfortable

I still believe deep down inside

That it’s something I can’t do


So Lee decided we should do a 5K

The end of February

Because we’ve talked about it

But I’ve never committed

And now it’s time

To just do it

Because if I don’t try

I never will


I’m not saying that I’m ever going to do

The Disney Half Marathon

Or Triathlons

Like Lee has

Because honestly

I’m not sure if that’s going to be my thing


I could be right in feeling

That it’s not for me

Or I could just be thinking that

Because I lack confidence


There is one thing I know about myself


And it’s that I do NOT always know myself !!

Sometimes I feel something because it’s true

Sometimes I feel something because it’s false

And I don’t always know

When my mind is lying to me


So it’s time to plow into my fear

To conquer it

To learn to run

And it’s not easy

It’s not comfortable

And I hate it

But it has to be done

I have to conquer this

Because no longer will I allow my fears

And my doubts

To win


In order for me to train myself

For this event

I have to get back in Planet Fitness

Back on that treadmill

And focus on running

Every day

I have to get out of my comfort zone

Once again

And back to trying something

That I never believed I could do


So I’m taking a break from Crossfit

Because while I love it

I just can’t do both

I don’t have the time

Exercise has a place in the plan

But it can’t take over

And become my whole day

I was trying to do too much

Going to both places

But for me it was too much

And if I try to overwhelm myself

I just end up quitting altogether

And that’s something I can’t risk


Crossfit is on the other side of town

And lately they have been doing a lot of construction

It was always a long drive for me to get there

Because I don’t live near the box

But I was willing to do it

Because my Coach is awesome

And the people there are too

But sometimes in life

We have to evaluate what we need in that moment

And where we go from here


I have a lot of responsibilities

My kids

My job

And I have to do what is best for me

Sitting in 2 hours of traffic every day to get to Crossfit

And then still have to go to Planet Fitness

To train for this 5K

Is not really working for me

I feel I have been putting my responsibilities

With my kids and my job

On the back burner

And that can never be good


Exercise has a place

A top priority

But like food cannot own us

Neither can anything else

That is why exercise has to be something

That we can fit in to our life


If we make it too difficult

Too far to get to

Too far to drive

Too complicated to fit into the schedule

Then the mind comes up with reasons

Why you can’t get it done

And those reasons become legitimate

So then you quit


I have been finding it more difficult to get to Crossfit

Because of the construction

Yesterday I sat in traffic for 2 hours going no where

Even the exit was totally blocked off when I got there!

One more reason to quit and go home

Planet Fitness is 2 minutes from my neighborhood

And it does not involve the highway

I can get there and back easily

And still fulfill my responsibilities at home


As much as I love Crossfit

It’s not working for me right now

Because of the traffic

Because of the distance

And because of the fact

That I have to train for this 5K

As well


I still plan to do Crossfit style workouts

From home

Because that is possible too

By that I mean

Strength training will be part of my plan

I don’t want to lose that

But for now

I will have to find a way to incorporate that

Into my home workouts

And while I will miss the fellowship I had there

I know this is what needs to be done

At least for now


So I’m training for my 5K

At planet Fitness



And as it stands right now

I can jog about 1 mile


I’m not sure how I will ever

Jog 3 miles without stopping

That may not happen before this 5K

But only time will tell


I won’t lie

I’m not excited about it

I feel very uncomfortable

But sometimes that is a good thing

When we break out of our comfort zone

And try something new

So here I go

Mission 5K is ON!!


My brother made me this picture

To go with our new adventure


And when I saw it

I said

NOO!!! I look horrible in that picture!!

He took this one of me

When I went to visit him in Florida

For the wedding


That is what I look like when I run


That is how I feel when I run


Every time I run

I want to throw up

I frown

I feel disgusting

And I hate it

Plain and simple

Will that ever change?

I have no idea

But this picture is real

It sums up my feelings on the subject

So there it will stay


I don’t believe that you should ever choose

An exercise that you totally hate

Because you need some level of enjoyment

To pursue it over the long haul


But I also know

That when I start something new

Some new form of exercise

Something that pushes my limits

And pushes me out of my comfort zone

I almost always hate it

At least at first


So I’ll push through

And press on

Maybe one day

I won’t hate it anymore

Anything is possible, right?


It doesn’t mean

I won’t go back to Crossfit

It doesn’t mean

I will pursue other 5K’s

It just means that for now

This is what I am doing


I think having a goal

Something to work towards

Something new and different

To push myself towards

Keeps me motivated

Keeps my body guessing

As to what I am up to next!


So here we go

February 23

Run 4 Hope 5K

And the name is fitting

Run 4….HOPE

Because I started with 30 seconds

And a smidgeon of hope

That my life could change

17 months later

It brings me to the moment

When I find out

If I can run 3 miles without stopping

To me…an impossible dream

But then again

That word “impossible”

No longer seems to scare me anymore

I’ve finally learned

That many things in life

We thought were impossible

Are in fact

VERY possible!!

Everyone needs hope

So while I may hate running at the moment

I do NOT hate the idea

Of running for HOPE

If there is anything worth running for



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{ 29 comments… read them below or add one }

Jane January 18, 2013 at 4:28 am

Good for you and keeping your body guessing is always good. Good Luck! You don’t have to run the entire way, just do your best and enjoy the t-shirt! πŸ™‚


Tasha January 18, 2013 at 5:15 am

You will do great!!!! Thank you for the encouragement!


Rhonda January 18, 2013 at 5:50 am

Good for you…you have time to work on consistently running for 3 miles without stopping… but even if you do stop and walk a bit, no worries… that is pretty normal! Many great runners actually recommend interval running with walking for a minute or so. Best to you… you can do it!


Staci January 18, 2013 at 6:22 am

I sincerely thought you looked like a pretty runner (yeah, strained, concentrating face – but pretty) when I saw that pic. Then I saw your comment. Look, I walked a 5k at grandma speed IN A KAKHI SKIRT. That was totally uncomfortable. LOL You got this. πŸ˜‰ Oh, and I love your purple shoes and green laces!!! This is so exciting, Holly! Look at you go!!! Don’t feel any shame in walking some. Lots and lots of people walk/ran the 5k I was in. And I know. I got to be in the back watching it all. ROFL
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joy January 18, 2013 at 6:57 am

Holly!! That’s amazing, good for you. πŸ™‚ I have done a few 5 km’s and I hate running but I love the race and once you complete one you will know what I mean πŸ™‚ Don’t worry about how fast you go. I jog at slow pace but I am okay with that πŸ™‚ Good luck which remind me i have to sign up for my next 5 km in May.
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Natalie January 18, 2013 at 7:42 am

Hi Holly!
I only found your blog a week or so ago and I’m reading from the beginning (up to July 2012). I love your writing and how honest you are.

Is there a particular reason for your format of half a line then a gap then half a line etc? I find it really hard to read and I have to keep scrolling down and down. Has anyone else ever said they liked/disliked it?

Aside from that, I absolutely love your blog and I have cried a few times reading about your story. Keep moving forward. And go the 5K! I’m going to do one this year too.
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Jessica January 18, 2013 at 8:20 am

I just came across your profile and I just wanted to say – I am very impressed and can’t wait to read more about your journey. CONGRATS!


Linda Kuil January 18, 2013 at 11:46 am

You’ll be surprised. There’s really nothing like the feeling of crossing the finish line, having gotten yourself there ALL ON YOUR OWN. I couldn’t run my entire 1st 5k. I wasn’t finished training. 42:42. My next 5k 3 months later? Done in 34:39. Running is a wonderful sport in that there’s always room for improvement. I can run faster. I can run farther. I love that. It’s all on me. You got this Holly. And if you have to walk, you walk. Don’t think about how far you have to go, focus on how far you’ve come!! Look where 30 seconds gets you…
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jennxaz January 18, 2013 at 1:10 pm

I think you look beautiful and I love that you challenge yourself—you got this girl..I know it!


Sheila January 18, 2013 at 1:30 pm

I used to feel the same way about running, it definitely was NOT my thing. But we bought a treadmill a few years ago, threw it in the basement, along with an old TV set and viola….any type of “excuse” that I could think of to NOT use it was gone. I didn’t have to go anywhere but the basement. And pre-/post-surgery, I would walk on it. I would do the different programs, but never running, because I’m not a runner. Then one day I decided to see how long I could run. 2 minutes. That was it. So I started there. Run for 2, walk for 2. And then two became 3, then 5, and eventually 10 and 15. BUT I usually still stick with 5 and try to do an intense 5 minutes before lowering my speed to 4.0 for my walking part. And now I’ve been running for over a year and while I still don’t run outside or in races, I actually enjoy running. This summer I’m going to challenge myself to get outside and I would like to do a 5K, so thanks again for the inspiration! I know changing your routine is hard but I think you will enjoy the break from Crossfit. You got this Holly!
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Lee Ann January 18, 2013 at 1:35 pm

You can totally do this Holly! When I started running, I HATED it! And if you would have said that I would complete a half marathon I would have said you were crazy. Now I run 5 miles a day at the gym. Amazing how things change! And the best part? My mom came to my first 5k. Something she never thought I would EVER do- run. And told me that she could now cross watching me run a 5k off her bucket list. LOL
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Cindy R January 18, 2013 at 1:37 pm

You don’t look horrible in the photo your brother put on the poster he made for you–you look like an athlete focused on her victory! Put one foot in front of the other, step by step, you can do this! Have you tried running outside in your neighborhood? I always found running earlier in the morning when I first got up and it is still a bit dark outside to be the best time, it goes by quickly, if any other people are out at the time of the day they are concentrating on their own exercise not you, and it is a beautiful time of day to reflect on things.


Courtney January 18, 2013 at 2:17 pm

Congratulations on taking on a new challenge! If I may give a few tips as someone who enjoys a good run πŸ™‚ 1. If it has been a little while since you got new exercise shoes consider investing in a new pair that are matched to your foot landing style – a running shoe store can do this for you for free. 2. If the weather/time allows it try switching up a few runs from the treadmill to a park or in interesting areas. You can use google maps to track your running routes under the ‘my places’ tab. That way you get a break from the treadmill, which I find kind of boring–although easier on the knees than pavement. 3. A well planned music playlist can make all the difference. If you don’t have an mp3 player I’ll send you my old ipod shuffle πŸ™‚ (And I really do mean that!)

Best wishes!


Amy January 18, 2013 at 4:15 pm

That is awesome! Good Luck on your First 5k, Im doing my first 5k February 9th! but I cannot run even a mile without stopping.. but i have run 7 miles as my longest so far! I use the Galloway method to marathon training which is run/walk/run.. and I do 45 seconds of each until im done. But youre such an inspiration. Thank you for this wonderful blog, I have just come to find this morning!


Cheryl January 18, 2013 at 4:38 pm

You are such an inspiration.


Tess January 18, 2013 at 5:26 pm

YAAAAY!!!! You can totally do this, Holly!! Let me tell you, *running* a 5K is hard work, I’m not gonna lie. But every time I finish (I’ve done 3 in the past 2 years) I cry. I’m so overwhelmed by the feeling of accomplishment, of self-worth, of EVERYTHING!! Crossing that finish line will be one of the best things you’ll ever experience! Don’t worry about the time, don’t worry about what you look like, just focus on finishing. That was my goal: just finish. YOU GOT THIS!!!


Fee January 18, 2013 at 7:26 pm

Run Holly run!


Robyn January 18, 2013 at 10:57 pm

Holly, you never fail to inspire.
I have read that when you step out of your comfort zone, you start really living.
I am proud of you for doing this. You need to switch up your challenges, so don’t feel bad about crossfit. It is not over; things just need adjusting right now.


Cathy January 18, 2013 at 11:05 pm

Holly, don’t listen to your mind. Listen to your body, it loves to run! Best of luck! I’ll be praying for you!


Anna January 19, 2013 at 2:43 am

I just started running a little over a year ago…..first six months on the treadmill, and then outside in May, 2012. And just like you, i HATED it. I would beg and plead with God to please, please, please help me run 1/10th of a mile. And, I dunno, maybe its because I *could not do it*, that the feeling of accomplishment was heightened ten times? And now, I hate running, but I LOVE the runner’s high…..and the love far, far outweighs the hate. Its a process, so stick with it. So proud of you, Holly!!


annamarie January 19, 2013 at 3:04 am

That is absolutely awesome Holly
You know you can do this, you have come so far.
Best of everything to you.

Many hugs


Debby H January 19, 2013 at 5:05 am

Holly!! Thats awesome!! Remember, there is NO RULE that says you have to run the whole thing, or half of it!! Just do your best!!
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Tom January 19, 2013 at 2:52 pm

Congrats on taking on a 5K. It is an excellent goal. I did that last year using a Couch to 5K program to train. The joy of crossing the finish line is the best. I like a 5K as gaol. It gives you something to work to as well as fer. It is the fear of the unknown and failure that will drive you on!

The miracle isn’t that I finished. The miracle is that I had the courage to start.” – John Bingham
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suzanne January 19, 2013 at 6:07 pm

You are doing the best you can for you! You will rock the 5K πŸ™‚
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Dagny Kight January 19, 2013 at 6:41 pm

The “mental game” has a physical side too! Your body LOVES to work and when you get moving there are a lot of physiological things that begin to happen and they’re all REALLY GOOD FOR YOU. Exercise, to whatever level challenges you a bit, lifts your mood, improves your circulation, releases feel-good hormones, and releases the body’s stress responses. Even if it wears you out for awhile, you can’t help but FEEL BETTER after exercise because your body will THANK YOU!!!!
Dagny, NASM trainer
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Chris January 20, 2013 at 8:02 am

Love this! Glad I found you! I cried watching your video…mentally we are almost a match. And doing this 5 K isn’t about running, it’s about knowing you can and removing another mental barrier. Just keep in mind the looks on your kid’s faces when you cross the finish line. It will be a thing of beauty!


EmDub @ Faster in Water January 23, 2013 at 7:27 pm

Girl that is not a bad picture! You are going to rock it. When I did my first 5K last summer, I was in awe…I did it! I know you will get that feeling too.
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Sharon February 5, 2013 at 3:35 am

Yaay Holly!! YOU CAN DO IT!!! I have a love-hate relationship with running too. it’s just hard, and something that is hard my body will not enjoy! lol. But you can do it!! Just like I have, one step at a time. I actually kinda like it now, yes? πŸ™‚
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Jayson Lecuyer February 21, 2013 at 3:59 pm

WOW!!! What an inspiration you are. Keep up the amazing work.



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