Christmas Victories and Giveaway Winner!

Another Giveaway is in the works for January!

The Giveaway winner for December announced at the end of this page!

 

Every year on Christmas Eve

We bake cookies

And leave them for Santa

That means

I eat them

I mean what choice do I have right?

It’s not my fault someone invented this tradition

But as a good mother

I need to follow through with it

Cookies…Santa…Milk

I even have a special little plate we leave out

“Cookies for Santa”

Am I going to ruin the fun of Christmas?

 

I am addicted to sugar

If sugar was an illegal drug

I would have been

Hobbling down some dark alley

To obtain it

Meeting with my dealer

Down some stairwell off a back street

In the dead of night

To buy my white powder in a baggie

For whatever the cost

Hobbling because I could barely walk

From what it had done to me

 

But when I’m eating sugar

I’ll do most anything to get more

I wonder sometimes

With the closing of Hostess

If there aren’t people doing this very thing

Exchanging twinkies in some darkened basement

For cash

And I never forget

How that could easily be me

TOMORROW

If I allowed myself to minimize the devastating effects

It has on my life

 

Cookies for Santa

What a sweet tradition

What a deadly decision for me

Because will it end at one cookie?

Or will this be the time

I get lost in it

 

It’s not worth the risk

And I know that

So I decide to buck the system

No cookies for Santa

And now I’m the Grinch….

 

My son is the youngest

He doesn’t quite get that leaving cookies for Santa

Is the equivalent

Of leaving out drugs for a drug addict

The addict being me

That his Mom might end up sneaking through the hallways

To eat them herself

And fall headfirst down the rabbit hole

That took Alice to Crazy Town

 

But I consider it

Because I want my son to be happy

I want him to have the same memories

The others had

The same fun

 

 

It’s so hard to live inside my brain

The little devil on one shoulder

The little angel on the other

Both of them screaming at me

Telling me what to do

And what to NOT do

 

But this year I know something new

I know that the way I eat now

Is not some temporary “diet” I am on

Something I am doing until I hit a certain number

It’s just how I live

It HAS to be

To remain free

 

So knowing that means

I can’t take a day off

I can’t just decide to eat cookies

Because it’s a Christmas tradition

I can’t just decide to take time off

For the holidays

 

Because taking time off from the way I live

Would be like taking time off

From being a Mother

Taking time off

From paying my mortgage

Can I do that because it’s the holidays?

Can I tell the kids I’m not going to be their mother

Because it’s Christmas?

Can I tell the water company

I’m not going to pay my bill

Because it’s the holidays?

 

No these are things you don’t take time off from

Because you can’t

You’re committed to parenting your kids

No matter what

Holidays, sick days, “don’t feel like it” days

You just can’t skip out

That would be like saying

It’s not that important

Or it’s important

But not enough to stick to it

Over the holidays

 

This way of eating

Is now my life

Its non negotiable

Like being a Mom

Like parenting

Like paying the mortgage

This is my life

Because this is where freedom lies

And I won’t give that up

Not even for Santa

 

I used to view it as a punishment

Having to refuse sugar

And cookies

And cake

But I don’t see it that way now

If someone offered me poison

Or something I was allergic to

Would I view refusing it as a punishment?

NO

I would view it as a blessing!

And that’s how I view this

 

Yesterday I denied myself

Cinnamon buns

Cookies

Candy

And all the sugary foods that used to mean

Christmas is here

And you know what happened?

I LOVED EVERY SECOND OF IT

And I never thought THAT day would come!

 

But there is power in it

Because you know that there are other things out there you can eat

There are other options

Better options

So why poison yourself with the very venom that is trying to kill you?

Sticking to the plan on the holiday

Means this is no longer a ‘plan’ or a ‘diet’ or a temporary fix

It means this is my life

This is my freedom

And not even a man in a red suit can take it from me!!

 

My son left this letter for Santa on the table

I thought it was cute!!

 

Here I am with my older girls

Christmas morning

In our matching Christmas pajamas!

This is the first time

That I have ever been able to do this

To buy matching pajamas to wear with my kids

I’ve always wanted to

I’ve often admired the pictures I see posted of others doing this

But it was certainly not something I could ever do

UNTIL THIS CHRISTMAS!!

 

We walked into a store

We saw matching outfits

We picked up one in each size

And we did it as if it was

A totally normal thing to do

ME

Finding MY size

In the same area

This is crazy!!

I could barely believe it happened!

 

Here are the kids

Christmas morning

 

Here they are opening presents

CJ looks pretty happy

In spite of the fact

That no cookies were left for Santa

It appears he isn’t scarred for life after all!

 

Being a single mom

Means no father to drive them to the store

To help them pick out presents to give me

On Christmas

But my kids have never let that stop them

They are resourceful

And they make things for me

And you know what?

I will treasure them more

Than anything they could ever have bought in a store!

I hope next year when Savannah can drive

That they will stick to the homemade creations instead

Because they bring me joy!

 

This is what Annabelle, Charlotte, and CJ made me this year

A motivational scrapbook of sorts!

And I LOVE it!!

 

 

 

Savannah gave me this poem which I love!

 

 

 

And this year I gave a present to MYSELF!

A 5 mile walk!

You see…I woke up thinking to myself

 

It’s Christmas! You deserve a day off! 

Why Exercise? This is the perfect excuse not to!

But then my brother

Who has now lost 270 Pounds

Texted me ”Merry Christmas”

Followed by this picture of him and Beth

 

And this one

And this one

 

And they looked pretty happy in those pictures

Accomplished

Victorious

 

I thought to myself

“Come on Holly…the presents are opened…there are 24 hours in this day…

You can’t take even 10 minutes for a walk?”

I mean it’s not like I’m saying “yes” to something bad

I’m saying “yes” to exercise

Yes to the very thing that has literally

Changed my life

 

Because even a short walk

Makes my knees and my hips feel better

So I decided I would not be defeated today

Today of ALL days

I will celebrate Christmas

With a gift to myself

And walk!

 

Annabelle came with me

And we threw on our Santa Hats

With the tiaras

Of course….

Because we ALL should have a tiara

And wear it proudly

We are sons and daughters of the King

So wear your crown

And walk in victory!!

 

And that 10 minute walk

Turned into 5 miles!

Because once I got out the door

I remembered

This isn’t so bad!

 

And that’s always how it works

Getting out of the door

Is 90% of the battle!

Because once you do

You’re on your way to victory!

 

I hope your Christmas was special

Because you are very special to me!

I can’t believe the gift I have been given

Through the people I have met here

 

You all uplift and encourage me

And I hope you know

That even if your holidays did not go as planned

Tomorrow is another day

His Mercies ARE new every morning!

 

Holidays can be tough

For some they remind you of losses

For others they are filled with temptations

But regardless of where you’ve been

Today is a new day!

 

Remember that book my kids made for me

The cover says

“Never give up!”

So let’s keep going!

Let’s keep getting up when we fall!

Let’s take on that mountain

And climb right into the New Year!

Straight into 2013 together

Onto Victory!!

 

 

Congratulations to Madeline for winning the “I Love Coffee Giveaway!”

a Rafflecopter giveaway

If you didn’t win this time, there will be more to come so check back!

Another one in the works for January!