Never let go

November 27, 2012 in Uncategorized

If you woke up tomorrow

And suddenly the world was upside down

And the sky was on the floor

What would you do?

How would you process that?


What if you wake up one day

And what you know to be truth

Turns out to be lies

I went to bed one night knowing I would spend the rest of my life

With the man I had married 11 years earlier

When he told me that he was at work

I believed him

When he told me he was out in the field

I knew it was true

Except it turns out

It wasn’t


One day I woke up

And all the truth that I knew

Had turned to lies

Suddenly I was alone

Sleeping on the left side of a king size bed

Staring at the open space

Staring at the half used can of shaving cream on the side of the sink

Staring at his clothes still hanging in the closet

All of it was left behind

And just like that

He was gone


I was talking to my mom on the phone one day

She had run some errands

We were talking about American Idol

Just another normal day

And then the next day I got a phone call from my brother

She was on life support

And then she was gone

Everything I knew to be true

Everything I knew to be solid and sure

Was ripped away

Mom was gone


I was talking to my grandmother

About what had happened with my mother

About how we were going to spend our second Christmas

Without her

About how hard it was for us to adjust to her not being there

And then I received a phone call


My grandmother who I had just spoken with

A few days before

Was in the hospital

And a few weeks later

She was gone


There are times in life

Where the world shatters around you

Where everything you know is turned upside down

When you’re so scared that you can’t see how you’ll survive

And you just want to let go

Give up

Give in


Holidays can be tough

Maybe you’ve lost a loved one

Maybe they were taken before their time

Maybe they walked away

But whatever the reason

They’re gone

And you’re left with the empty space

Wondering how you’ll survive


Holidays are tough for anyone

Who struggles with an addiction

To food

To alcohol

Because holidays are packed with plenty of both

Eat, drink and be merry



For those of us who struggle with food

Thanksgiving was just Round One

Maybe you lost that round

And now you’re wondering if you should just give up

Give in to the endless supply of candy that will be coming your way

In the break room at work

On your desk from your students

In the mail from family


Everywhere you look

Everywhere you go

There it will be

And if you’re already struggling

With depression or loneliness

Then this can often be a time of year

That makes it worse


If you feed that pain

With food

You may feel that you’ve already fallen too far

You may feel that hope is not for you anymore

You wonder if you’ve slipped up once

Why not just give in?

Why not just let go?


Remember this

It doesn’t matter how far you’ve fallen

It doesn’t matter what mistakes you made

What you’ve lost

What has been taken from you

It may have left you depressed

It may have left you lonely

It may have left you tired and weary

Feeling destroyed

Feeling hopeless

But don’t give up

Don’t let go

Because you’re not alone

You’re not the only one who feels this way


Even in the darkness

The light will find you

If you seek it

So keep seeking  (Jeremiah 29:13)

Keep hoping  (Proverbs 23:18)

Because if you do

He will find you

And when He does

He will never let you go  (John 10:29)


“Most of the important things in the world have been accomplished by people who have kept on trying when there seemed to be no hope at all.” – Dale Carnegie

“It’s always too early to quit.” – Norman Vincent Peal

Manafest video  Never Let You go




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{ 21 comments… read them below or add one }

Jacque Raine November 27, 2012 at 10:00 am

I feel the emotions, the courage and strength within. There’s always a Rainbow after the Rain. Sadness comes unexpectedly but when Happiness pours, it will paved the dark sad clouds. I remember my Godmother told us in our wedding; Always remember that When the Going Gets Tough, The Tough Gets Going! Hang On, Survive, Pray and Believe!
Jacque Raine recently posted..Famous Gettysburg College AlumniMy Profile


Laura S November 27, 2012 at 11:45 am

Thank you Holly for giving me hope. I wonder sometimes how you know just the way I feel. My life is so miserable. I have lost loved ones and I pretty much dread the holidays. It just reminds me of what I don’t have. I’m divorced too and my husband left me too. My kids are gone so I just look at the empty house and wonder why I’m here. Like you said food is everywhere right now and it’s all that makes me happy so why not just eat. I have nothing left. But I come here and read your words. I know I’m not alone anymore. I don’t usually leave comments but I want you to know that I check your website every single day because it gets me through the day. It gives me some hope that maybe things can get better. Or at least I can pray and ask God to help me and maybe one day I will find that peace I need. Please don’t stop writing. People need this and you are the only one I know in my life who gets the thoughts in my head.


Lori November 27, 2012 at 3:40 pm

Thanks for the encouragement. You write with sugh insight and clarity. I look forward to your posts.


Lilian November 27, 2012 at 7:02 pm

Oh Holly, I don’t know how you do it but your posts always make me cry. But in a good way. Thank you for the inspiring words and showing us that there’s light at the end of the tunnel yet.


Amanda Brown November 28, 2012 at 12:23 pm

This post seriously brought me to tears. Thank you so much for your encouragement. You have a way with words, you make them raw and relatable. This couldn’t be more true. Everyday people are feeling this way, every minute, but it’s so easy when you are in the situation to feel like you are the only person there, or even that you are the only person that has ever been there. But, alas, life goes on. It always does. We just have to hang on as tight as we can for the ride.


Holly from 300 Pounds Down November 28, 2012 at 12:38 pm

Thank you Amanda!! I so appreciate this. You are right. Life does go on!! We just have to wait for it to turn the corner!


achievemygoals12 November 28, 2012 at 1:37 pm

Thank you so much for your post…I’m a new reader to your blog & I’m truly inspired by your journey…
I would like to add that even though you have lost so many important people in your life…they are still with you & cheering you on from high above. Don’t disappoint them and above all, don’t disappoint yourself !!!
You can do this, just look at all you have accomplished !!!!


Lisa November 28, 2012 at 4:46 pm

Wow. {{hugs}} to you for so many things.

I just found your blog (in a roundabout way) thru FMM and I’ve spent most of my morning reading your posts. You are such an amazing person and a major source of inspiration.

Blessings upon you & your wonderful kids!
Lisa recently posted..Friend Makin’ Monday – Dear SantaMy Profile


Holly from 300 Pounds Down December 3, 2012 at 2:34 pm

Thank you Lisa! I am so glad you found me and I found you!!


Sheila November 28, 2012 at 7:10 pm

As usual, very inspiring Holly! I love the song too, it’s perfect. This time of year is stressful enough without adding the loss of loved ones, divorce, and illness to the list. You are so right that no matter how far you have fallen there is still hope. There is always hope.
Sheila recently posted..Odds and EndsMy Profile


Holly from 300 Pounds Down December 3, 2012 at 2:33 pm

Thanks Sheila!


Christine @ Love, Life, Surf November 29, 2012 at 5:17 am

This is such a beautifully written post Holly – inspiring and brings many things into perspective, especially at a time of year when things are often way out of perspective.
Christine @ Love, Life, Surf recently posted..Portraits of a MotherMy Profile


Holly from 300 Pounds Down December 3, 2012 at 2:32 pm

Thanks Christine!


Crystal November 29, 2012 at 2:37 pm

Holly, I just wanted to say thank you for sharing your journey. I happened across your page via a link that your brother posted on the lapbandtalk forums. I spent much of my time yesterday backing up and reading more and more of your story. Thank you for shining your Light for all to see, its so refreshing to find a fellow believer who’s not afraid to be real. As I set out on my journey I pray that I can impact people and shine for Jesus the way you have through your blog. What a perfect picture of how, when we let Him, God’s strength can be seen the most in our greatest weaknesses! Congrats on your success so far and I pray for many more victories to follow! 🙂 Happy Thursday!


Holly from 300 Pounds Down December 3, 2012 at 2:31 pm

Hi Crystal,

I am so glad you ‘bumped’ into Lee on Lapband Talk! He knows what he’s talking about when it comes to this journey and his guidance has been life saving to me! I am so happy for you setting out on this journey. If I can do anything to encourage you along the way let me know. We are here for you!!



elizabethwilder November 30, 2012 at 4:21 am

I just want you to know thar i really apreciate this great post! thanks for sharing!


Holly from 300 Pounds Down December 3, 2012 at 2:29 pm

Thanks Elizabeth!!!


Sara Thornton December 1, 2012 at 5:58 am

A lot of people take holidays to a dark place and I will be honest that I am probably biased since my parents are alive and so I don’t have that stripped away from me, except I moved this year so I won’t be with them. But I still get happy. It’s not about food, or baking cookies. I actually think about decorating the tree, putting lights up outside, our tradition of piling in the car and driving slow around the near neighborhoods to see everyones lights outside. This brings me happiness and I think about this more than food. I think about each individual person who I care deeply about in my life, friend or family or more, and I want to give them something so nice and heart felt even if it is just a card or a hug. These are the things that I enjoy about the holidays.

I won’t deny that in the past it has been about food with some traditions. We have always had bakers in the family so we have lots of cookies and goodies to choose from. But the beauty in it for me this year is finding things that I can make that are healthy alternatives that not only I can have and stay within my nutrition plan, but that others may enjoy as well. I use it as sort of a challenge to be able to enjoy myself and not have to eat bad things and be able to have others try healthy versions of classic favorites that may not taste all that bad 🙂


Holly from 300 Pounds Down December 3, 2012 at 2:11 pm

Sara, this is EXCELLENT!! I love all the different things you listed that are NOT food. Driving past Christmas lights and decorating. Spending time with loved ones. You have pointed out something that is really important. We have to make the holidays about other things instead of food. And when we do this the focus will be in a better place. What awesome insight!!!


Kristen December 3, 2012 at 2:46 am

You really do have a way with words! It’s really hard to not give up hope sometimes but I guess we’re all in this together. Thanks for sharing your journey with us!
Kristen recently posted..Survival of the (not quite) fittestMy Profile


Holly from 300 Pounds Down December 3, 2012 at 2:09 pm

Thanks Kristen!! I know how it feels to struggle with giving up hope but even in those moments if we hold on…hope will come!!


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