Carry Me

August 22, 2012 in Uncategorized

Β “Carry me, Mama!”

“Pick me up!”

“Give me a piggyback ride!”

How many times as a mother have I heard these words

And had to say No

When your child falls down and hurts themselves

Wouldn’t you want to scoop them up into your arms and tell them it will be ok?

For many years now, this has been a dream of mine

Unfulfilled

And I know it’s been something my kids wanted me to be able to do at times

It always hurt when they would ask me to pick them up or carry them

And I’d have to say no

Because I was carrying hundreds of extra pounds already

On my own body

And it was wearing me down

I could barely carry myself on my own two feet

You know those moments where your child falls asleep on the couch

And you want to pick them up and carry them to bed?

I couldn’t do that either

I wanted to scoop up my babies and give them a big hug

Have them run to me at the end of the school day and jump into my arms

I’d see other parents doing it

But I couldn’t even get out of the car

Much less pick up my own child

Even if one of them was hurt

The best I could do was go for help

But carrying them was out of the question

Nothing more than some faraway fantasy

A dream that would never come true

My arms just didn’t have the strength

With every year my kids got older and bigger

Which only made the dream that much more impossible

For over a month now, I’ve been going to Crossfit

And it’s unlike anything I’ve ever done before

Because it’s different every time I walk in the door

I never know what to expect

I show up and she will give me these tasks to do

Sometimes I don’t really understand why I’m doing it

Or if any of this is going to really make a difference

It reminds me of this scene from the original Karate Kid movie

(Warning: some profanity)

This is often how I feel!

Like I’m the Karate Kid

And Diana is Mr. Miyagi

Saying

Wax on, wax off

Sand the floor

Paint the fence

Only instead she says things like

Lift the bar

 

Lift the plate

 

Lift the kettle bell

She’s definitely got a thing for making me lift things!

Right about the time I think I might have settled in

She just makes me lift something even heavier!

Some days she has me pulling up on these rings!

My arms are beginning to feel

Like they’ve had enough of this lifting and pulling you know?

Lift this!

Pull up on that!

And then you know what she sprung on me Monday?

PUSH UPS!

I haven’t done a push up since I was a teenager

And now I’m 40

And I’m overweight

And I’m weak

I can’t even lift my own child into my arms

I can’t even pick up my children when they fall

Or carry them on my back

Or scoop them into my arms when they run to me after school

So how am I supposed to do any of this?

This was me last summer

BeforeHollyFront

And it’s true

I’ve come a long way

But I still wonder sometimes

How much further can I really go?

How much more can I expect to really progress?

I can fit into chairs

I can fit into a booth

I can wear my seatbelt

Maybe that will be enough, right?

But to carry my child in my arms

That would be the miracle

The other day

I was carrying two gallons of milk into the house

And it wasn’t even difficult

I haven’t been the one to carry the groceries in the house for a very long time

Especially not the milk

For me—that was just too heavy

And my arms were just too weak

But then I noticed

That I was doing it

There I was carrying in TWO gallons of milk

Hmmmm…..

I got to thinking

I wonder what else I can do now??

And these words rolled through my mind

“Carry me, Mama!”

“Pick me up!”

“Give me a piggyback ride!”

Β I hear Diana in my Β mind

Lift the kettle bell

Lift the plate

Lift the bar

And I remember that scene from the Karate Kid

With Mr. Miyagi

Paint the fence

Sand the floor

Wax on! Wax off!

In the movie, he didn’t understand how any of those things would help him

What any of that could teach him

But it all had a purpose in the end

Maybe it didn’t seem that way at the time

But it taught him what he needed to know

And the same is happening for me

It’s all coming together now

It’s all making sense

Because today I scooped Charlotte up into my arms

AND CARRIED HER!!!

Untitled

And then I gave my son a piggyback ride!!

Untitled

The excitement over this event

Was like fireworks going off in our yard!!

If my kids had a list of things they wanted in life

This was right at the top

AND I DID IT!!!!

I REALLY DID IT!!!!!

Charlotte also discovered during all of this

That she can almost get her arms all the way around me!!

Last summer she could not fit her arms around me

BeforehollySIDE

 

But THIS summer we are getting really close!!!

Untitled
So yes

It appears there is a method to the madness after all

There is a point to lifting heavy things

And today I think I realized what it’s really all about

For in the midst of the kettle bells and bars and plates and rings

And among the push ups that I didn’t want to do

Lied the very moment

I thought would never come

A dream that I had forsaken long ago

The simple act

Of holding my child in my arms

Being able to pick them up when they fall

Or carry them around the yard on my back one sunny afternoon

So tomorrow if I walk into Crossfit

And Diana says

Paint the fence

Sand the floor

Wax on Wax Off

I’ll do it

Because now I know

That at the end of all this

There will be a child running towards me

And when they do

I’ll be able to bend down

(Thanks to squats)

And pick them up in my arms

Arms that are getting stronger every day

Arms that can now carry the ones I love

 

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{ 45 comments… read them below or add one }

Chubby McGee August 22, 2012 at 6:09 pm

LOOOOOOOOOOOOVE!!!!!

Reply

Megan Card August 22, 2012 at 6:26 pm

You go, girl! Proud of you!!
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Kelliann August 22, 2012 at 6:36 pm

LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE this!!
You are strong and powerful!!
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jennxaz August 22, 2012 at 6:54 pm

OMG what a great NSV. I so want to be able to carry my 5 year old up the stairs to bed but I am just not there yet.

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Lady Amanda August 22, 2012 at 7:13 pm

I have tears in my eyes right now. LOVE IT!!! soo excited for you. Love the pictures. Awesome!

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Patrick August 22, 2012 at 7:39 pm

I can … I can … I can … I can
Keep a growing list of “I can”, don’t be surprised if you need a really long sheet of paper; there is no limit to what you can “I can”
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Elizabeth August 22, 2012 at 7:45 pm

Love this!!! Amazing NSV!!
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Enz August 22, 2012 at 7:45 pm

This brought tears to my eyes. I am so thrilled for you and your children. I hope you are so proud of yourself, you work hard and you deserve to be happy.

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Leigh Costa August 22, 2012 at 9:03 pm

LOVE this post! So inspirational:)
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Liz August 22, 2012 at 9:35 pm

That is so great! Your kids look soooo happy and so do you and you should be!
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AimeeWrites August 22, 2012 at 9:37 pm

Oh, YAY!!

Just wait…I still remember the day when I realized the amount I was dead lifting was more than my oldest son’s weight, and the bench press was my younger son. I was floored. Absolutely beside myself. Isn’t it AMAZING what our bodies can do when we teach (and push) them how????
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Lori August 22, 2012 at 9:45 pm

Good for you. I am so proud of you. One for hanging in there when you didn’t really understand. And two, for eventually recognizing the benefits in your own life.
Lori

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Teri Carter August 22, 2012 at 9:54 pm

dang it you made me cry. I love the analogy it is so very true.
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Cassandra August 22, 2012 at 10:46 pm

Beautiful and inspiring! Keep up the incredible work.

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Steelers6 August 22, 2012 at 11:03 pm

So great, love the pics!
Chrissy

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Steph August 22, 2012 at 11:43 pm

This was such a great post!!!

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Donna August 22, 2012 at 11:46 pm

Can you see the big smile on my face? I love reading your posts, God bless you and your beautiful kids!!!

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Merrily August 22, 2012 at 11:48 pm

You make me cry, with every blog!
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kristi August 23, 2012 at 12:20 am

Beautiful pics and wonderful job!

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Anna August 23, 2012 at 12:29 am

My goodness, Holly….this is just one of the best posts ever. My heart swells with pride for you (and I don’t even know you!) YOU GO GIRL!!! =)

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Sheila August 23, 2012 at 12:39 am

Sometimes a picture IS really worth a thousand words. LOVE THIS POST (as usual) and I really want to borrow your sparkly flip-flops! So nice to wear them because they are CUTE instead of it being the only thing that fits, right? πŸ™‚
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Courtney August 23, 2012 at 1:07 am

So happy and proud for you and your kids!

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Kelly @CurvyFitGirl August 23, 2012 at 2:06 am

Beautiful!
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blackhuff August 23, 2012 at 6:37 am

WOW! Just look at you. You’re doing SO great. And now you can pick up your children and they can hug you all round πŸ™‚ Yay!
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jennP August 23, 2012 at 10:48 am

LOVE this post!! brought tears to my eyes as I can feel the pride and the love!! πŸ™‚ Kepp up the awesome work!! πŸ™‚

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Linda Kuil August 23, 2012 at 11:09 am

Simple things in life… they seem to mean the most, right? Yes, you want to look better (and you DO! I love the bling on your hiney, which is looking quite nice, like an apple bottom!!), but being able to be close to your kids, to hold them, to carry them, kind of means more. Keep it up!

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Holly from 300 Pounds Down August 23, 2012 at 3:04 pm

hahahaa….my BFF Amanda told me the SAME THING!! LOL…she said “Wow you’re rocking the bootie bling there huh?” Oh my!!

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Amanda August 23, 2012 at 1:31 pm

Wahoo!!! What an absolutely FABULOUS NSV! Getting fitter and stronger every day so that you can be the best YOU, the best MAMA, you can possibly be. I’m applauding you right now πŸ™‚
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Tess August 23, 2012 at 3:07 pm

Now *I* want to go paint the fence and sand the floor!! Nicely done! Very inspirational…going for a walk now, thanks! πŸ˜€

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suzanne August 23, 2012 at 4:09 pm

Fantastic!! I love how you share what you’re doing. It’s giving me thoughts on new exercises to try πŸ™‚ thanks
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Trish @I_am_Succeeding August 23, 2012 at 6:35 pm

Totally awesome!!!!! I so love it!
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Cindy August 23, 2012 at 6:37 pm

This actually brought tears to my eyes. The look on your face, and the joy in your children’s eyes…really beautiful!
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Pam August 23, 2012 at 8:12 pm

Wonderful blog, gives me chills and brings tears to my eyes. YOU GO GIRL!
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Staci August 23, 2012 at 10:04 pm

Look at you. First, you started out by wearing shoes that were actually cute and much smaller. Then you sat in a Cracker Barrel Chair. Next you swam, walked all over difficult places in Texas, and then joined Crossfit. Now you are flinging half-grown kids around like nothing. And you actually question how much further you can go? GET REAL GIRL. You are goin’ dowwwwnnnn, and I mean in weight and size. πŸ™‚ I grabbed my dictionary and looked up the word awesome, and there was your pic! How cool is that? πŸ™‚
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Holly from 300 Pounds Down August 24, 2012 at 2:27 am

Do you know how many chills I just got reading this?? You recounting all the parts of my journey was so heartwarming!! I so appreciate how you have followed me all along the way encouraging me. I will never forget your comment about me being “sassy”. I look forward to hearing from you. I really do. I’m so thankful for our “bloggy” friendship!!
Holly from 300 Pounds Down recently posted..Carry MeMy Profile

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Erica August 23, 2012 at 11:14 pm

I was in tears reading this. AMAZING! SO HAPPY FOR YOU!

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Holly from 300 Pounds Down August 26, 2012 at 12:45 am

Oh thanks so much Erica!!

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Yvonne August 23, 2012 at 11:38 pm

What a strong mama your children have, and you’re not done yet! You should be so proud just like your children must be of you too.

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Holly from 300 Pounds Down August 26, 2012 at 12:45 am

Thanks Yvonne!!

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adorkbl August 25, 2012 at 7:48 pm

LOVE. πŸ™‚

You are truly and inspiration!

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Holly from 300 Pounds Down August 26, 2012 at 12:45 am

Thanks!!! I love your little owl pic. So cute!

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Cody August 26, 2012 at 2:10 am

Just found your blog. You are awesome and an inspiration. Thank you, this is exactly what I was needing to read. Good luck!
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Kathy August 26, 2012 at 11:21 pm

Awesome awesome awesome!! You should be soo Proud of yourself!! CrossFit is all about functional movement! Enjoy every minute!!celebrate how far you’ve come but never forget where you’ve been!! You are an inspiration!!!!

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Amanda November 3, 2012 at 4:53 pm

Awesome!!!

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Banded With Favor April 7, 2013 at 4:55 am

Holly, I just read this post and I love, love, love how you inspire me. One of my New Year’s resolutions was to join a cross fit because of you….Here we are April and I still have not yet, but will by May joined a cross fit center. I love your posts. I love how you inspire me and I love that you are so transparent….thank you

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