Independence Day

July 5, 2012 in Uncategorized

 

Yesterday was the 4th of July

Independence Day

A day we celebrate our freedom

And in many ways I’ve been set free

Free from a prison I had been living in for years

A prison of weight that kept me locked up

A prison of  fear that nothing would ever change

A prison of shame that I had let it get that bad

The prison guards would taunt me day and night

Reminding me of my failures

Reminding me of my fate

Reminding me of the life sentence that I was going to serve

Living the rest of my life trapped in my body

On death row

beforesurgery

Waiting for something to give

Blood pressure, diabetes, my heart

And then last summer

Exactly one year ago

A group of people put on their ninja clothes

And broke me out of prison

Because my chains were so heavy

That on my own I couldn’t have done it

But this team of people worked together

To break the chains

My Nana who paid for the surgery

My brother who stayed with me in the hospital

And laid out the path

Showing me that the way out of prison

Wasn’t scaling the wall

But just taking one step at a time

My friend Amanda who wrote me every day I was in prison

Who reminded me through all the years that I was still a good person

That I was still beautiful

Regardless of the prison I was living inside

My children who helped me

Do everything you can’t when you’re obese

And never made me feel like I was any less of a mother

Who proudly held my hand wherever we went

Not embarrassed or ashamed

My mother

Who died while I was still in prison

But always believed that one day I’d be free

AND YOU

All the people I’ve met in the blogging community

Regardless of what “key” you chose to open the prison doors

Weight Watchers, surgery, Low carb

It doesn’t matter

The point is—you cared

You cared enough to  comment

You cared enough to email me

You cared enough to tell me

That I could be free

When I didn’t believe in myself

At 417 pounds

You encouraged me

Freedom isn’t easy

It comes at a cost

There will be pain

There will be tears

But if you believe that you deserve to be free

If you believe that you CAN be free

Then you will be

Because in the end I discovered

That the prison guard standing at my cell

WAS ME

That the prison I was trapped in for so many years

Was nothing more

Than a prison of my own fears

My own lack of belief

My own misconceptions at what it took to leave

There was no lock

The door was always open

But all those years I thought I had to scale the walls

By myself

I thought I had to break out on my own

I thought I had to be strong enough to get out

What I didn’t know

Was that I didnt have to be strong

I just had to be willing

To take that first step

To seek help from the right team of people

And when that was in place

The doors flew open

And I was set free

I’m always going to be walking

Either away from that prison cell

Or back to it

Because this is one journey that never ends

Every day I have to believe

That I’m free

That I don’t have to go back

But when I look around me

And see the team of people

My friends, family, blog friends

The One Who Gives me Strength

I know that YES

This is Independence Day!

Independence from all the things that weighed me down

Independence from obesity

Because last July I weighed 417 pounds

And 165 pounds of those chains are now gone

And I’m free

So I celebrated with my children

Who were able to sit on my lap

Because I have one now !!!

 

And I was reminded

That yes—freedom comes with sacrifice

But it’s worth it

So if you’re not free

Don’t lose hope

Because when you have nothing left

When you’re on death row

When you’re at the end of yourself

This is the moment

When you’ll realize

You don’t have to be strong

You don’t have to have the keys

All you need is hope

And a belief that you too can be free

Look around and find that team to encourage you

Look up to the One who says

“It is in your weakness that my power is made perfect” (2 Corinthians 12:10)

And then ring the bell

Pop the fireworks

And celebrate

Because your day of freedom is coming

And you will walk out of your prison cell

FINALLY FREE

 

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{ 29 comments… read them below or add one }

jennxaz July 5, 2012 at 3:31 pm

Happy Fourth Holly!

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Holly from 300 Pounds Down July 5, 2012 at 4:18 pm

You too Jenn!
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Christine July 5, 2012 at 3:33 pm

just reminds me of Psalm 124:7 (NLT) “We escaped like a bird from a hunter’s trap. The trap is broken, and we are free!” Someone “gave” that verse to me several years ago and it has been applied quite liberally in my life. That whole chapter is great…

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Holly from 300 Pounds Down July 5, 2012 at 4:15 pm

I love this Christine!! I actually don’t recall that verse at all so thanks for sharing this with me. I have a feeling that verse is now going to be liberally applied in my life too. Thank you so much for sharing it!!
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Kristen July 5, 2012 at 3:43 pm

I found your blog early in my journey and you have been such an inspiration to me! This particular post really struck a nerve. You are right that we often are our own prison guards and are too scared to let ourselves be free. Thank you for reminding myself that there are people out there fighting the same fight that I am, so I never forget that I am not alone!
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Holly from 300 Pounds Down July 5, 2012 at 4:16 pm

Thanks Kristin!! I’m so glad we are not alone and we have each other to encourage and spur each other on!!
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Lady Amanda July 5, 2012 at 3:58 pm

Happy 4th Wonder Woman! Wish I could be there to set off some fireworks. Love all of the new pictures. You are looking gorgeous with that beautiful smile from ear to ear. And of course the two cuties in the pictures are just precious.

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Holly from 300 Pounds Down July 5, 2012 at 4:18 pm

Thanks Amanda!! And thanks for all you’ve done to help me and encourage me along the way. I’m so happy you are in my life!
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Lady Amanda July 5, 2012 at 5:54 pm

I am happy you are in my life too! Am lucky to have a best friend like you.

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suzanne July 5, 2012 at 4:05 pm

You definitely cannot put a price on freedom and those who help will feel the freedom too!
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Holly from 300 Pounds Down July 5, 2012 at 4:17 pm

And you are one of the best Suzi!! Love you!
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Holly July 5, 2012 at 4:11 pm

Great post! It does feel good to be free, doesn’t it? Lookin’ good, girl!
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Holly from 300 Pounds Down July 5, 2012 at 4:17 pm

The other Holly!! Hey girl!! And yes I agree. Freedom is awesome. And you’re looking pretty great too!
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Holly July 5, 2012 at 4:25 pm

P.S. We totally look like we’re sisters!
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Gina July 5, 2012 at 5:36 pm

I want you to know, I just read your blog and watched your 100 Pounds Gone video and cried about the whole time. My surgery date is July 16th and it helps me beyond words to see other who are really doing this. It makes me know that I’ll be able to do this, too. Congratulations! You are such an inspiration to me!

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Holly from 300 Pounds Down July 5, 2012 at 7:24 pm

Congratulations Gina!! I am so happy for you!! You will be successful and I can’t wait to follow along on your journey. I am cheering you on all the way!

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Nikki Mohamed July 5, 2012 at 6:28 pm

Happy Independence Day, Holly. (We don’t celebrate it here, only due to geography and that we’re the only Americans in this entire section of the city. Once we get back to the US that will change;) I am so proud of you. I know that sounds weird since we have never actually met. But I do feel a huge sense of pride for you. And I continue to pray for God to keep blessing you with patience and strength and courage. Those are gifts that all of us need to overcome all of the trials in our lives and may you always thank Him for those trials, those gifts, for your successes and your failures. Because truly, all of them are gifts from God.
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Holly from 300 Pounds Down July 5, 2012 at 7:25 pm

Thank you so much Nikki!!! And no it doesn’t sound weird at all. I appreciate YOU so much. I really do. You always leave me encouraging comments and I appreciate all your prayers. I love reading your blog. And it is pretty awesome that blogs can help us make friends that cross oceans and continents!!

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Donna July 5, 2012 at 7:12 pm

Another great post! Your kids are just the cutest little angels ever. I just want to hug them, Mom is pretty cute too.

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Holly from 300 Pounds Down July 5, 2012 at 7:25 pm

Oh thanks Donna!!!!

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Linda Kuil July 5, 2012 at 8:25 pm

I needed this Holly. I needed a new perspective on why I HAVE to eat right and exercise EVERY day. I had a bad day yesterday, even after the great opportunity I was given last week. I needed to see that those 75 pounds were keeping me from living. I was alive, but I wasn’t living. I need to continue to choose living, even though it’s always going to be difficult. I will never have the luxury of resting on my laurels, but there are people out there that don’t have the ability to walk or see or hear. I need to stop focussing on the distance and enjoy the ride.

Thank you and enjoy your independence!!!

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Trish July 5, 2012 at 8:38 pm

Yay Holly! You are doing fantastic. Also all went well with my surgery this morning. Working on recuperating now.

XO~Trish
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Leigh Costa July 6, 2012 at 2:11 am

What a powerful post Holly! You are such an inspiration to me and many others. Thank you for sharing your story. Happy Independence Day:)
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Brenda July 6, 2012 at 5:42 am

Oh Holly! You are an amazing, amazing woman. You are so strong!!! You inspire me to be a better person.
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Elizabeth July 6, 2012 at 12:52 pm

You are Beautiful, Your Family is Beautiful, Your Sentiments are Beautiful and Your Faith is Beautiful 🙂 Happy Belated Fourth of July!
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Lee Mitchell July 6, 2012 at 1:53 pm

I LOVE reading your blog. You have a wonderful way with words and express everything so that it touches a nerve (in a good way) with me. You should really think about writing a book about your experience.
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Julie Rayner July 6, 2012 at 5:18 pm

Holly,

I can’t claim to be “scripturally educated.” But I have a deep faith in God, and when I read your post something from the Bible came to mind. Someone once told me that our lives are like trees, and that all good people/things in our life are our “fruit.” If we work hard to be good people, then we deserve good things then we’re blessed with all these wonderful people (i.e., fruit) in our lives. Hope this doesn’t sounds crazy, but I believe that when you yourself are a good person, you have good people around you. Look at all your fruit 🙂

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Crack You Whip July 7, 2012 at 3:18 am

You inspire me so much!
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Benni July 7, 2012 at 2:15 pm

This blog post and this blog in general are so motivational to me, its nice to read stories like this about people that are so motivational especially when the are “real” people who have managed to achieve the goals and not celebrates or the “I did it so you can do it too” crowd, just a normal person going great things!
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