The Leak

May 31, 2012 in Uncategorized

Remember when my house flooded?

Well maybe you don’t

It was before I started the blog

Before I started losing weight

It was one hell of a year

Emphasis on the hell

Everything happened at once

Someone rear ended me at a stoplight

My mom died

I lost my job

Tree roots busted through the pipes

And the house flooded

And here I am again

My Nana is sick in the hospital

Someone ran into the back of my car

And once again I’m getting the bumper replaced

Now I notice my flowers at the house are dying

Too much water coming from underneath

A mysterious puddle coming up in the garage through the concrete

You know… the one I slipped in the other day

And a pool of water outside in the yard

By a tree

Oh no I think

Not again

This is how it all started before

The car getting hit

The pipes bursting

The water damage

And then it was like a landslide

All I could do was sit back and shove double cheeseburgers and large fries down my throat

To ease the anxiety

I’m sitting here typing this

As I’m waiting for the plumber to arrive

He’s going to diagnose the problem

What will it be?

More tree roots busting through my pipes?

More damage that is going to cost thousands of dollars?

Because the property insurance covers a lot of things

But not that

Not tree roots

So here I am again

Filled with anxiety

Waiting

Waiting

What will happen next?

I still have a job

My mom can’t die twice

But I have to admit

This feels a lot like the beginning of the landslide from last year

Will history repeat itself?

I think  a Big Mac would ease the tension

You know…while I wait…

Maybe some Reeses would take the edge off

I mean don’t I have the right?

If there was ever a time, isn’t it now?

But instead I’ll sit here

And wait

And feel the anxiety and the stress and the tension

Ride it out like a wave

I’ve already said a prayer and asked God to help me

I’ve put the word out to my friends to give a shout out for me when they talk to Him today

And I’ve reminded myself of

Philippians 4:6-7

The Message (MSG)

 6-7Don’t fret or worry. Instead of worrying, pray. Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns. Before you know it, a sense of God’s wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down. 

So now comes the test

Will I actually walk the walk now that the time of testing has arrived?

Or will I dig through the house looking for junk food to ease my worried mind?

Because I can hear him

The plumber

He’s about to ring the doorbell

I know this because my dogs are barking

He’s coming to tell me the bad news

Here we go

 

And I’m back!

So how about this?

There was a PINHOLE of a leak in the pipe

Smaller than a straw

And evidently the tiniest little pinhole

Letting out the tiniest bit of water

Over time

Who knows how long

Finally seeped up out of the ground

To let me know it was there

He said it could have been like that for ages

But finally rising to the surface

It reveals itself

I didn’t know it was there

But it was killing my flowers from below

How amazing that something so small

Could bring such disaster over time

Kind of like that bite

Just one bite

Of a donut

Or a dorito

Or a hot dog

It’s so small you know?

What’s one bite going to do?

But over time

That one bite grows

And begins to saturate through you

Slowly killing your drive to stay on track

Like the water leak

It’s so small you barely see it

You barely realize it’s there

But all the while

That one little bite

Is undermining your efforts

And before long

It will trickle down

Until it becomes a flood

So I’m thankful

That today they found only a pinhole

And I’m replacing that part of the pipe

No major damage

No thousands of dollars in bills

But he said “I caught it in time”

It could have been worse

I’m SO grateful

That I walked through panic and anxiety without eating over it

That there was no tragedy this time

And that the pinhole could be fixed

Before it turned into a landslide

And this is a lot like my eating

Realizing that one bite of a hot dog at the baseball game

That one bite of the burger I used to binge on

Is nothing more than poking a small hole in my victory plan

And letting it slowly start a leak

A leak in my life

That undermines what I’m doing

And slowly but surely begins to seep into your being

Until one day you wake up to a flood

Of Hostess Cupcakes

And twinkies

And go “What happened?”

But the truth is

We know what happened

That pinhole was small

But mighty

And this has reminded me

To check for leaks

Not just in my yard

But in my life

And for that

I am grateful

 

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{ 27 comments… read them below or add one }

tz May 31, 2012 at 10:54 am

I’m glad it wasn’t worse then it was…but also remember even with all those negative things that happened, you’ve also done so much for yourself in realizing these triggers and not succumbing AND for losing all this weight. A bitter-sweet year. You are amazingly strong!

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Adelyn May 31, 2012 at 11:02 am

This is absolutely fabulous! I often think that we get to do things again to give us a chance to get it better than the first time. So in your case VICTORY!!! I hope you see it as that. Truly. You are showing up for yourself and your kids in so many awesome ways. You continue to inspire.

“Is nothing more than poking a small hole in my victory plan” This is brilliant. And so true. Small holes do just as much damage. I will remember that!
Adelyn recently posted..WalkingMy Profile

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Dawn May 31, 2012 at 11:29 am

I’m glad that it wasn’t as bad as you thought it might be – and that you didn’t eat your way through it! NSV! ((( hugs )))
Dawn
Dawn recently posted..Characterized by What?My Profile

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Trish @I_am_Succeeding May 31, 2012 at 11:55 am

I am so glad it was nothing too major AND you won a giant victory!!!
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Kaitlyn May 31, 2012 at 1:27 pm

I just wanted to let you know I’ve nominated you for the Illuminating Blogger Award.
You are a true inspiration.
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Holly from 300 Pounds Down May 31, 2012 at 1:33 pm

Wow!!! That’s so nice of you! I am honored!!

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Kaitlyn May 31, 2012 at 1:45 pm

You’re very welcome! Thank you for being such a great blogger.
You can get the Illuminating Blogger image here: http://foodstoriesblog.com/illuminating-blogger-award/
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Linda Kuil May 31, 2012 at 1:29 pm

Thank God you caught it in time!!

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Beth May 31, 2012 at 1:43 pm

You have such good insight Holly! I’m so glad the situation wasn’t worse.

How is your Nana doing? Continued prayers for her.

Beth

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Holly from 300 Pounds Down May 31, 2012 at 1:48 pm

Nana is still in ICU. Thanks for asking! The good news is she hasn’t gotten worse! Thanks so much for asking!!!!

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Amy May 31, 2012 at 2:14 pm

Didn’t you write recently about doing up your yard, buying flowers because you never felt like planting or dealing with anything before? So….no dead flowers might mean you wouldn’t have noticed anything wrong until it was too late? Maybe? Anyway it’s good to hear that it was a cheap problem and you and your Nana are in my prayers.

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Holly from 300 Pounds Down May 31, 2012 at 2:52 pm

Yes Amy!!! This is 100% true. If I hadn’t gotten out there and started working on the yard, planting the flowers etc. then I would never have known there was an issue! The dead tree in my front yard that Amanda noticed should have been the first tip off rofl…I’ve spent so much time inside the house instead of outside that I never even realized it!

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Mandy Majors May 31, 2012 at 2:48 pm

Oh, Holly — I’m praying for you & your Nana. You are such a light for Jesus!

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Holly from 300 Pounds Down May 31, 2012 at 2:52 pm

Thanks Mandy!! You are as well!!

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Chandra May 31, 2012 at 3:18 pm

Yay! That is great news from the plumber!

It was God saying, “I got this, Holly. Quit your worrying.”

Thank you for your comments on my blog! They really meant a lot!

xxoo
Chandra
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Amanda May 31, 2012 at 3:37 pm

Your outlook on situations is amazing. I’m glad that it was nothing worse than a pinhole, and I’m glad that your grandmother hasn’t gotten worse.

Wishing all the best for you; sounds like you most certainly deserve it. 🙂
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Joanna May 31, 2012 at 5:16 pm

You never cease to amaze me at how wonderful you can relate your life to situations going on around you. Truly inspiring – and SO TRUE!!!

So happy it was just a minor problem. 🙂
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Christina May 31, 2012 at 6:50 pm

What an inspiration you are! Looking forward to exploring more…and thanks for stopping by my blog.
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Nikki Mohamed May 31, 2012 at 7:10 pm

Maybe you can uproot that tree and have it replanted in another area of the yard…away from water pipes and your house?! Hope your Nana gets better, I hope that your leak is repaired before you have any serious damage to your foundation, and that your insurance doesn’t go up because of the irresponsibility of others. 🙂

You CAN overcome this…and you’re proving that every single day. Love your inspiring blog.

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Susan May 31, 2012 at 7:15 pm

Hi Holly,

Thank you so much for visiting my blog and leaving a comment – I’m so glad to find YOU! What an amazing story you have, and this post was breaking my heart until I got to the end! Praise the Lord for a whole BUNCH of stuff today 🙂

Keep up the good work!
~Susan
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Christina May 31, 2012 at 10:26 pm

Wow! I know I would be stressed out, thinking the worst. When I cling to His Word, it helps me ride out the storm. And that passage in Philippians is a great one. Thanks so much for sharing this!
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Joyce June 6, 2012 at 4:42 pm

I have been MIA for a while….lots going on. I found my self so stressed the other day that I wanted to eat a cake…not cup cake….A cake. So i had a protein shake. lol Still fighting it though. Some times I give in and I have to fight that because you are right, one bite starts the domino effect.

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Holly from 300 Pounds Down June 7, 2012 at 2:04 pm

Hi Joyce!! I hope everything is ok. I haven’t seen you around for awhile and I know how stress can derail you. Boy do I know!! Good job choosing the protein shake over the whole cake…I have so been there! I hope you’re ok. Email me anytime!

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Tina June 9, 2012 at 10:22 pm

What a turn of events…I can’t help but wonder if God was letting you know he was proud of you for not reaching for our drug of choice and reaching for him. Turning a flood into a pinhole with his mighty power. I am so happy for you!
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Holly from 300 Pounds Down June 10, 2012 at 1:34 am

Thanks Tina! I like your outlook on this! And I think you’re right!

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paul@click here June 12, 2012 at 11:11 am

I was reading the blog and would like to say that its great seeing you losing a lot of fat. All credit goes to your handwork and determination.

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Gen November 3, 2012 at 8:38 pm

I’m about to sound….er, read? like my mother, but everything happens for a reason. As I was reading about the tiny whole caught “just in time”, I was reminded that maybe that’s why you happen to slip. If you hadn’t, how long would anyone have noticed a puddle?
There are times I’ve complained about one thing or another…and some time later, I’ve discovered a “why” behind it. Not always, but enough for me to know that God’s in control and there is a reason for everything. Sometimes (for me) it’s a lesson in thankfulness. “Will you praise Me when things aren’t going well?” I hope and pray my answer will always be yes, but it’s not always.
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