Field Trip!

April 20, 2012 in Uncategorized

A few years ago I had a pain in my side and the doctor referred me for an MRI

Unfortunately I weighed over 400 pounds and they could not fit me in the tube

So they referred me to the zoo

THE ZOO

Can I tell you how humiliating that was?

I refused to go

Or rather I could not muster up the courage to do it

And thankfully the pain in my side went away on its own

But not the memory of that day

Ever since then just the mere mention of the zoo was enough to depress me

Reminding me of the hopelessness that enveloped me like a growing vacuum sucking me further in

Deeper into a realm of black despair

Until one day a door was opened

And I walked through it

And because of that I have been slowly regaining back my life

Last month my son came home with a field trip permission slip

FOR THE ZOO

And he asked me if I could go

Not like before

Asking but knowing already the answer

This time he asked with his head turned to the side and a little gleam in his eye

HOPE

Maybe this time….maybe now….she will come

My kids have been wanting me to go on field trips with them for a long time

I used to go

Years ago

Hundreds of pounds ago

But that was a world away

Another lifetime

When I almost seemed to be somebody else

But could the zoo become something more than a dreaded destination for the super obese to get an MRI?

Could I walk in there not as a patient with a death sentence

Being humiliated

But as a mother simply trying to accompany her son on a field trip?

Fulfilling a wish he had been asking since he first started Elementary school?

My daughter, Savannah, is protective of me

She remembers when we tried to go to Sea World

While I was over 400 pounds

I just wanted her to swim with the beluga whales

I wanted that for her but my body had other plans for me

EMT’s

Oxygen

A close call

Savannah is 16 but she’s not your average teenager

Sometimes she is the mother and I am the daughter

Who is not allowed to go places alone

She’s too afraid I’ll have a heart attack

She doesn’t want a repeat of Sea World

So she refused to let me go alone

And she went with me to the zoo

Just in case

And something amazing happened

We were there for over 3 hours

Walking over 5 miles

In the heat

Keeping up with over 20 kids

And while my left knee wasn’t always loving every minute of it

I was AMAZED at what my body can now do!

Stairs, hills, heat

I DID IT!!

I SURVIVED!

No EMT’s had to come pick me up off the floor

And then go back for help because they needed more man power to lift me up

No oxygen tanks

Just me, my protective older daughter and my son

On a field trip

At the zoo

THE ZOO

Which is now no longer a humiliating memory

But instead a VICTORY

 

 

Savannah and I arriving at the zoo
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My little man was SO excited and proud to have me there with him!! I felt very blessed that he cared that much about me being there 🙂

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And I was actually able to keep up with my assigned kiddos!!

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And below is another example of a table with chairs attached.  Oh how I have despised THEE !!!

You canNOT scoot them out to give more room. But I actually had room between my stomach and the table!!! Sometimes I literally think I’ve lost all 145 pounds in my stomach!

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CJ and Savannah (best older sister EVER!)

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And on the way out we were met with THIS potentially HORRIFYING exit

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I stopped COLD staring at it until my son tugged on my hand

And looking up at me said

“Mama….YOU CAN FIT”

AND I DID!

For fun, I mapped our route

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We walked over 5 miles and I was on my feet for well over 3 hours

And instead of collapsing and almost being rushed to the hospital in an ambulance

Like last year at Sea World

I walked out on my own two feet

Holding my son’s hand and feeling VICTORIOUS!

ZOO–you are no longer my enemy!

And I am NOT your patient!

I am a Mother

Going on a field trip with her son

Like any other parent you see with a “volunteer” sticker on their shirt

Only I’m not like them

I came from a parallel universe

One where I was just an observer who could not get out from behind the glass

Only now I am free

Free to do the very simple things that I had written off as impossibilities long ago

It’s good to be free!

 

 

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{ 63 comments… read them below or add one }

Vivian April 20, 2012 at 7:40 am

Well done Holly. Lately I am really struggling to motivate myself regarding exercising and eating right. I have been off the wagon for months. I know I have to get myself right before it gets dangerous. Reading your blog inspires me a lot.

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Holly from 300 Pounds Down April 21, 2012 at 7:02 pm

Thanks so much! I’ve been in a funk too lately but we will make it out together!!!
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Linda Kuil April 20, 2012 at 10:14 am

When you were staring at the turnstyle and your CJ tugged on you and told you that you would fit, I lost it. I am SO happy for you. At my biggest (239 @ 5′) I never had that feeling, but I know the anxiety of thinking everyone is staring at me, and the thought of getting stuck must’ve been paralyzing. Your family is beautiful!
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Holly from 300 Pounds Down April 21, 2012 at 7:03 pm

Thanks Linda ! I can totally relate to what you said!!
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Crazylady April 20, 2012 at 10:25 am

Im so proud of you, I went back and read every post. You have a beautiful family indeed. Keep posting, you really are inspirational.

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Holly from 300 Pounds Down April 21, 2012 at 7:01 pm

Wow!! Thanks so much for taking the time to read the previous ones!! That is so nice of you!!!
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Deb April 20, 2012 at 10:40 am

The amazing adventures keep coming with you! Great memories you’re making.

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Holly from 300 Pounds Down April 21, 2012 at 7:03 pm

Thanks Deb!!
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Liz April 20, 2012 at 11:23 am

Yay Holly! He looked so happy you were there, glad you were able to go with him!
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Holly from 300 Pounds Down April 21, 2012 at 7:04 pm

Thanks Liz !
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Jacquie April 20, 2012 at 11:44 am

Wow…you are truly an amazing woman! God Bless you and your wonderful children.

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Holly from 300 Pounds Down April 21, 2012 at 7:05 pm

Thanks so much! God bless you too!!
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Zoey April 20, 2012 at 11:48 am

Tears of joy for yo, what a great post!! And wow is your daughter gorgeous! She looks like you!

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Holly from 300 Pounds Down April 22, 2012 at 3:23 pm

Oh thank you Zoey!
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Lady Amanda April 20, 2012 at 12:58 pm

Sooo excited you had a blast. Loved all of the pictures. Thrilled that you had such a great time! Love it!!!

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Holly from 300 Pounds Down April 22, 2012 at 3:23 pm

Thanks Amanda!!
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Brenda April 20, 2012 at 1:04 pm

Yeah Holly! I am so glad you went.
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Holly from 300 Pounds Down April 22, 2012 at 3:23 pm

Thanks Brenda!
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Lady Amanda April 20, 2012 at 1:05 pm

oh- on a totally different note- I noticed the picture on your volunteer sticker- is that an old picture? It doesn’t really look like the current-glowing, happy you. I wonder if the school could update that in the computer to show off your current gorgeousness. Just a thought. Someone might think you stole someone elses identity! hahahahaha 🙂 You are one awesome mama- am just sooo happy that you got to go yesterday. Soooo awesome! I keep going back and looking at the pictures- looks like a blast.

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Holly from 300 Pounds Down April 22, 2012 at 3:24 pm

Yes that is an old picture! I will probably get a new one at the start of next year. Thanks for that. Made me smile!!
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Vickyd April 20, 2012 at 1:41 pm

I’m so happy for you…being able to do things with your kids and to see them smile makes it all worthwhile!

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Holly from 300 Pounds Down April 22, 2012 at 3:24 pm

Thanks Vicky. You are so right!
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Rae Rae J April 20, 2012 at 2:05 pm

Absolutely FANTASTIC! And I love the pics!!!
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Holly from 300 Pounds Down April 22, 2012 at 3:24 pm

Thanks Rae Rae!
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Staci April 20, 2012 at 2:48 pm

Of all the things you did today, a table with chairs attached is a HUGE victory in my eyes! You had plenty of room between tummy and table. 🙂 I hate those kinds of chairs. Of all the stupid restaurants to use them… McDonald’s! As if after being addicted to their food any human could comfortably fit in them. LOL I have always avoided sitting in booths. I always requested a table and chairs. Lately, booths are no problem and I enjoy sitting in them. I can so understand your chair intrigue. Ha!
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Holly from 300 Pounds Down April 22, 2012 at 3:25 pm

Oh my gosh you said it Staci!!! You totally are right about that. They give you the food that blows you up and then attach the chairs to the tables so you can’t squeeze in them!! lol..
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Amanda April 20, 2012 at 4:01 pm

I love the triumphant attitude in this post! Looks like you all had a wonderful time. And on a side note, you have a wonderful daughter there to care so much about you!
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Holly from 300 Pounds Down April 22, 2012 at 3:26 pm

Thank you so much!!
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Caron April 20, 2012 at 6:44 pm

So many happy face pictures and especially your little guy. This is great! 🙂
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Holly from 300 Pounds Down April 22, 2012 at 3:26 pm

Thanks Caron!
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Faith April 20, 2012 at 9:13 pm

I’m so happy you were able to conquer this nemesis! The smiles on your face and the faces of your beautiful kiddos is such a reward isn’t it? On a side note, I hope that you write a book someday about this journey you are taking, Holly. You are such an inspiration to those of us online, I can only imagine how many people you would inspire, encourage and ignite a fire in to better themselves whether it’s through weight loss, coping with divorce, single parenting..the list goes on. Many hugs to you, my friend. 🙂

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Holly from 300 Pounds Down April 22, 2012 at 3:26 pm

Oh wow Faith! Thanks so much . What a nice thing for you to say to me . I get tons of inspiration from you too!!
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Dawn April 20, 2012 at 10:01 pm

Love it! I remember when the Hubs and I went to Disneyland after I had lost 60 or 70 pounds (we’re Disney freaks) and I was amazed at how long I could walk without feeling pain (or pouring out buckets of sweat). That day motivated me even more. I have lost 144 pounds now and have about 17.5 pounds to go(yes, I count the 1/2 pounds…call me crazy if you want to) before I reach my ultimate goal. Reading your story just reminds me of how far I have come myself and motivates me to push myself harder. You are a ROCKSTAR. Keep on rockin’ it girl!!!!
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Holly from 300 Pounds Down April 22, 2012 at 3:27 pm

144 pounds, Dawn??? Awesome! You rock!! And YES you are right we should count the 1/2 pounds .why not?? We worked to get that off. I think YOU are the rockstar my frirend!
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Chaundelle Burch April 21, 2012 at 12:03 am

Holly, I just started crying reading this. What a wonderful inspiration. And a fantastic victory for you AND your kids. Keep up the great work!

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Holly from 300 Pounds Down April 22, 2012 at 3:27 pm

Thank you Chaundelle and what a gorgeous name you have!
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cee April 21, 2012 at 2:18 am

Well done! So glad it went well! I have a little challenge tomorrow. A hike I took back in August that I failed at, badly. Tomorrow is a redo…hope I do as well as you did at the zoo!
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Holly from 300 Pounds Down April 21, 2012 at 2:51 am

Good luck on the hike!! I can’t wait to hear about it. I know you are going to do awesome!!

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Jane April 21, 2012 at 3:05 am

Awesome! So glad you could go with the little man. And Savannah…what a beautiful daughter and champion you have. You’re a great Mom, your kids are evidence of that!!

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Holly from 300 Pounds Down April 22, 2012 at 3:27 pm

Oh thanks Jane .I appreciate that so much!
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Kiwigirl April 21, 2012 at 7:48 am

Hi – just found you! I’m a new follower. Great entry about the zoo. What an inspiration you are! I’m looking forward to reading your blog from the beginning. I’d like to follow you and have you pop up on my reading list (I’m on blogger.com) – but I have no idea how to follow you …. can you tell me?

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Holly from 300 Pounds Down April 22, 2012 at 5:50 am

Thank you so much!! If you look at the top of the page there are several icons for Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest and the last one has these little curvy lines and says “Rss feed”. If you click on that you can choose how you would like to subscribe. For example, if you use “Google Reader” you can pick that. Also right below that is a box where you can subscribe by email if you want to be notified via email when I post. But I would warn you I usually post daily so I wouldn’t want you to get annoyed by that!! lol….Also you could try bookmarking the page so you can just check it that way. I am very honored that you asked me this question!
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Michelle April 21, 2012 at 2:17 pm

Congrats on all your weight loss so far & tremendous achievement of going to the zoo for fun! I don’t have as much weight to lose as you do, but I had trouble walking around the San Antonio Zoo last year when I went with my family. I was “plum tuckered out” by the end of the day & aching all over. It’s an awesome accomplishment to be able to do that & what a joy to share it with your kids! I’m getting the gastric sleeve surgery done on 5/14 & just found your blog a few days ago. You’re a great inspiration! Keep up the awesome work!!
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Holly from 300 Pounds Down April 22, 2012 at 3:28 pm

Congratulations on your upcoming surgery. I am SO happy for you. I just went over to read your blog and will be keeping up with your journey!
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Michelle April 22, 2012 at 4:43 pm

Thanks, Holly! I love the support I’m finding already, even before surgery! I know it’s going to be a long road ahead, but you and others who have gone through the surgery are such an inspiration!
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Trish @I_am_Succeeding April 21, 2012 at 2:20 pm

Awesome job Holly!!! I am so proud of you!!
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Holly from 300 Pounds Down April 22, 2012 at 3:28 pm

Thanks Trish!!
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Ronda April 21, 2012 at 5:36 pm

Well if he isn’t the cutest little bugger ever! I just want to squeeze him. So glad you had a fantastic day with your kids. So proud of you!
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Holly from 300 Pounds Down April 22, 2012 at 3:28 pm

Thanks Ronda!
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Steelers6 April 21, 2012 at 6:51 pm

So wonderful! Proud of you…..
great post.

Chrissy

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Holly from 300 Pounds Down April 22, 2012 at 3:29 pm

Thanks Chrissy!
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Carrie April 22, 2012 at 1:17 am

Holly…you are a doll. And you’ve got some pretty kiddos, too.

What a great story. The pics are awesome. Just so proud of you.

So, so proud.
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Holly from 300 Pounds Down April 22, 2012 at 3:29 pm

Thanks Carrie. You rock!!
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Mercy April 22, 2012 at 2:51 am

Awww…looks like your son was so happy to have you along. It doesn’t take much to make a child happy.
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Holly from 300 Pounds Down April 22, 2012 at 3:29 pm

Thanks Mercy. Love your name!
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Sofie April 22, 2012 at 12:51 pm

You made me cry. I’m sending you super internet hugs!! You are AMAZING!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I’m totally scared of outings too and have avoided them. My son is singing at a Blue Jays game with his school on June 13th and I’m going – he has been doing this for the past 5 years but Ive been too big to fit in the seats at the stadium and I didn’t want to embarrass him so I never go but this year I’m going. Keep being you cause you are awesome!

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Holly from 300 Pounds Down April 22, 2012 at 3:30 pm

(((Sofie))) I am sending internet hugs right back to you. You have no idea how clearly I identify with every single thing you just wrote. I totally get it and feel like crying just reading this. I know how you feel. I am so excited that you are going to the Blue Jays game to watch your son sing. I hope you will come back and tell us about it or leave a link to your blog if you have one b/c I would definitely want to hear more about it!
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kim hamilton April 22, 2012 at 3:12 pm

Thank you…Thank you….Thank you…. for being so transparent and sharing THE TRUTH about what it really is like to struggle with being overweight. You are truly an amazing inspiration to everyone who reads your story. Keep up the good work girl….You look great!!

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Holly from 300 Pounds Down April 22, 2012 at 3:31 pm

Thank you Kim. I really appreciate this!
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Andrea April 23, 2012 at 4:47 am

This is so great! Love it!
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Andrea April 25, 2012 at 6:01 pm

I am almost crying here. But I just put my contacts in so I won’t. I’m so excited for you. So happy and so (kind of weird to say it but I will) proud! How amazing! I totally know what it’s like to feel like you won’t fit. I hate it. It stinks. But you fit! You fit! Woo hoo! :>
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Chandra April 26, 2012 at 2:32 pm

Yay! You ARE the best mom and incredibly inspiring!
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Juice July 19, 2013 at 10:45 pm

This post brought tears to my eyes. So happy for you!
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