Whatcha Doin’ Wednesday is me giving you a snapshot of a week in my life. From last Wednesday to this Wednesday.
My older two were predisposed with various and sundry social activities all week because it was Spring Break. The older two are 16 and 11. Their social calendar is full these days!
So it was just me and “the babies” who are really getting tired of me calling them that. They are 7 and 8 years old now. So I guess they aren’t “the babies” anymore. It’s just that I have my older set and my younger set and the younger two are so close together that most people think they are twins.
So we started calling them the “babies” when they actually were babies and it stuck. But I have to really stop doing it before they’re 23 and 24 and still being referred to as “the babies”!!!
So on a whim, I decided to take my younger two out for lunch. Oh wait a minute…did I just say on a whim? Let me think of how many times in the past 5 years I’ve done anything on a whim. When you weigh over 400 pounds, you do NOTHING and I mean NOTHING on a whim. Everything has to be planned out in advance very carefully. You have to know where you’re going and if it’s a big enough space for you to fit into. Not to mention the amount of time and energy it takes to physically get up and go in the first place.
But this week we did that impossible thing. We did something on a whim!!
I took Charlotte and CJ to Cracker Barrel. This is a place I have always loved to go not so much for the food (although that is certainly one reason) but rather the atmosphere and the store. You already know about my obsession with Homestead Handcrafts. Cracker Barrel is one of those places that I love to browse in for similar reasons. There is always something unique there that I would not see anywhere else.
I should say I USED TO love going there because it has been years since I’ve stepped inside of one. In fact, I have never been inside of a Cracker Barrel the entire 6 years I’ve lived in San Antonio. For one thing, I could no longer fit in the rocking chairs out front.
And that was part of the fun. (What can I say…I’m easily entertained!)
But guess who fits in the rocking chair now???? That’s right! I’m rockin’ now!!
But there is another reason why I stopped going to Cracker Barrel years ago and I bet you can guess. I talk about it so often that you probably already know.
Have you seen cracker barrel chairs?
Now does that look like a sturdy chair to you? One that can hold a 400-450 pound woman?
My obsession with chairs comes to me through my personal experience in breaking them. Repeatedly. And I’m not about to risk doing that in public.
But there I was face to face with my enemy–the chair. I still wiggled it and tested out how sturdy it was before sitting down. My usual routine. And then I went for it.
Now as you will see I’m still spilling out of this chair. I’m literally still just BARELY able to fit on it even after losing 141 pounds which you can see in the video.
BUT I am on it. And it didn’t break. And I didn’t live in fear for the 45 minutes of sitting on it that I might end up crashing on the floor like that scene out of Shallow Hal.
I mean Cracker Barrel has some small chairs. And that is me sitting on one after losing a good bit of weight so you can only imagine what it would have been like before–impossible. I still need to lose another 100 before I really fit. But that is just the point about me and chairs. We have been at odds for a long time. THEY are what would keep me out of so many places. From businesses to people’s homes. Chairs and I have history.
I noticed Cracker Barrel has a low carb menu now which is helpful. I still went with my safety food which is plain baked chicken. I didn’t eat the sides or the cornbread or the hush puppies. Which to be honest virtually cancels out the whole reason I used to love to eat there.
But this day it wasn’t about the food. It was about the CHAIRS. And in that battle, I won!
I also love to browse in their store but there is a problem. Almost everything there is breakable AND has narrow spaces to walk in. Well it might not be narrow by someone else’s standards. But when you are over 400 pounds you have to be VERY CAREFUL walking in between shelves. You can very easily knock things off. I’ve done it before. Many times.
I think we’ve all heard “you break it you buy it”. That fear has kept me out of many places such as this.
A 400-450 pound person does not walk in these spaces by big glass balls and porcelain plates unless they want to knock every bit of it off as they go and have a huge bill waiting for them when they leave. On top of the humiliation.
But not this time!! The kids and I had a blast looking at everything together. And of course I was able to enjoy it because I wasn’t afraid of knocking things off AND my feet and back were not in excruciating pain just standing there.
Later that day, we went to Walmart. And I know this seems like just another small thing. It’s not climbing Mt. Everest, right? So what’s the big deal?
I guess the big deal is that EVERYTHING is a big deal these days. I was practically housebound in many ways because going virtually anywhere became a nightmare. And now it’s as if the world has opened back up for me.
You see my “babies” always wanted to ride in that double seat Walmart cart. Seems simple, right? But it wasn’t because that thing is kind of heavy and takes some effort to push. And I did not have the strength or energy to push it.
The truth is I had to have a cart to lean on. To use as a walker. I couldn’t even ride in the motorized carts because I could not FIT in those chairs. So I pushed the cart and leaned on it for support. I could not do that with the double seat carts. It’s heavier and you have to work to push it with a 7 and 8 year old riding in it!
But this time was different. They finally got to ride in it!! They are almost too big to really do it but it’s something they have been wanting to do for awhile and the last few years I just couldn’t do it.
I pushed that cart all over the place and didn’t break a sweat. I wasn’t using it as a walker for myself. I was using it AS A SHOPPING CART instead of something to lean on because of the back pain.
This week was really just full of the little things. But it is in the little things that I find so much happiness.
Knowing that I can do things again that for so many years were off limits.
And I appreciate every single bit of it!