So then I got stuck in the tub….

March 20, 2012 in Uncategorized

which way

So the other day I was talking to Amanda and she said to me


 ”Oh my gosh! Remember that time you got stuck in the tub? That was hilarious! You have to dig out that email you sent to me and post it on your blog because people will get a real kick out of it.  I mean, I got stuck in the tub once when I was pregnant so people can probably relate, right? Plus it was just funny.  People need a good laugh, ya know?”

So I went through my “sent” email folder looking for it but I couldn’t find it until I did a search for “hurled myself” in the search box and there it was!


I’m not sure if you will find this funny.


Or if you can relate.


Because I’m almost positive things like this only happen to me.


But just in case, here you go….


Hey Manda..
Ok you will never believe what happened to me last night.  I got this bright idea to take a bath.  I haven’t taken a bath in like 8 years at least.  Maybe longer.  I just got too big to fit.  It’s similar to the issue I have of not being able to sit on the ground . If I were to sit on the ground I wouldn’t be able to get back up.  There’s just too much of me for my body strength to pull back up.  I also don’t have the strength in my legs and knees to push myself back up.  But the other day I was feeling pretty good about how much weight I’ve lost.  I started thinking that maybe I’ve lost enough to fit in the tub.  And I did!!  


Man I was so excited.  Of course it was a tight fit but I was in.  So I took this hour long bath, shaved my legs etc. It was awesome!!! But unfortunately I didn’t think the idea all the way through because the time came for me to get out of the tub.  I know this sounds ridiculous but since I am crammed in the tub with no room to spare I can’t just maneuver easily.  I also am clearly weak in spite of all my tabata timer and rubber band workouts because I can’t push myself up.  


So there I was in the drained tub and unable to get out.  It was AWFUL!  I tried to push myself up from behind on my arms only to fall. I thought I was going to actually knock myself out.  The kids kept coming in there trying to figure out how to get me out.  hahaha..i’m sure they are traumatized.  Finally I told them to just close the door and check on me every 10 minutes to make sure I hadn’t rendered myself unconscious trying to furiously fling myself out of the tub.


So do you know how I finally got out?? I hurled myself over the side.  I took the towel and laid it on the ground next to the tub.  Then I hurled my body as much as I could over the side so I was literally hanging halfway out of the tub over the side as far as I could.  Then I just got some momentum going and slid straight out onto the towel and ground until I was laying completely face down on the bathroom floor but thank goodness I was out!! It took me another 15 minutes to get onto my hands and knees and then to push myself to a standing position.  I was shocked I accomplished it.  I threw out my left knee even worse than it was and even hit my face on the floor to the point where I actually have a slight black eye.  A BLACK EYE.  It looks like I got in a fight.  Only the fight was between me, myself and I.  And the tub. But at least I won! I think. Oh my gosh. Trust me if it hadn’t happened to me I would be laughing about it!


And the whole time Coco was just sitting there staring at me with this look on her face.  I got a picture of it with my phone because Charlotte had placed it next to me in case I had to call 911 and have the fire department come physically remove me from the tub.  Can you imagine?? Of all the nights for Savannah to go to the movies.  I pick then to get in the tub.  Not that my 16 year old daughter really wants to drag my butt out of the tub.  Oh my gosh.  My kids are going to need so much therapy.


But what if I had to call the fire department? Can you imagine.  I mean really.

Gotta run…

If you’re wondering what Amanda wrote me back it was something like this:

HAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAH




Coco staring at me during the tub drama
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{ 38 comments… read them below or add one }

~TMcGee~ March 21, 2012 at 3:52 pm

I am so glad that while you are losing weight you are NOT losing your sense of humor. :-) I admit, I giggled through this post ..not at you but because of the way you wrote it. You have such a great sense of humor and wonderful writing ability. I'm glad you didn't knock yourself out on the toilet (that was my first thought…oh lord she's going to bang her head on the toilet! lol) :-)

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Laryssa March 21, 2012 at 4:29 pm

THIS ^ is why I don't take baths. I know it's what would happen to me except I'd probably bang my head against the sink because my bathroom is tiny!!

And I'm sorry but I laughed, especially about the black eye. But only because I was trying to imagine what you told people had happened when they asked you, "how'd you get a black eye"? :)

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Holly from 300 Pounds Down March 21, 2012 at 4:37 pm

Oh trust me–feel free to laugh!!! this is definitely going to be one for the memory books!! Lol. And you know I told people I got that black eye defending my honor or something like that but now you know the truth!!!

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If Only She Were Thinner March 21, 2012 at 4:42 pm

Oh my goodness. I am laughing because…this happened to me…when I was 12. I ran through a sliding glass door and had to have a skin graft. Well…when you are 12, the doctors don't want to take the skin from an obvious area so they took it from my left cheek (and not the one on my face). They took two 3"x3" squares from my overgrown behind to cover the rather large hole in my forehead (I talked about this in one of my pre-surgery posts where my dear brother nicknamed me "butthead"). Anyway – It was summer. It was hot. I couldn't shower because of my head wound so I decided to take a bath. I couldn't sit down because of those two missing squares of skin from my butt so I had to lay down on my stomach. This was not the smartest thing to do because I also had a leg wound that was stitched up and I couldn't get the stitches wet. [i am giggling right now as I re-live this memory]. Envision this…a 175 pound 12 year old with 12 inches of stitches up her left calf starting at the ankle, a head wound with over 180 stitches, two spatula shaped squares of skin (seriously looked like I was beaten with a pancake flipper) missing from her rear but at least they were covered with gauze), trying to get into a bathtub with glass doors and then get onto her stomach without getting the left calf, head, or butt wet. It was tricky but I did it…and then I was stuck. I didn't think about which end the drain was on and when I got in, my head was on the opposite end. How was I to reach it without getting something wet. I was not about to call my 15 year old brother into the bathroom to help his naked sister so I had no other option but to sacrifice something. That something was the my butt. I flipped over keeping my left leg above water but as I "performed" this most incredible maneuver, I literally ripped the bandages off my butt. This was supposed to be RELAXING. LOL. I got the water drained, hurled myself out (praise Jesus for the glass doors to hang onto), applied fresh gauze to my butt, got dressed, and laid back down on the couch. So much for that! My mother gave me a sponge bath when she got home from work. LOL.

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Holly from 300 Pounds Down March 21, 2012 at 4:48 pm

Oh my gosh!! I am reading this on my phone at my sons baseball game and laughing so hard but no one but me knows why! Thank you for sharing your bathroom trauma story and I have to say it is far worse than mine you poor thing!!!

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If Only She Were Thinner March 21, 2012 at 5:41 pm

Here it is an hour later…and I am still laughing. Oh the memories we have to keep ourselves entertained for years.

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♫ Drazil ♪ March 21, 2012 at 6:04 pm

Haha – freaking funny – now that it's over right? xoxo

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Czesia March 21, 2012 at 7:02 pm

HAHAHA!That's hilarious! My husband just tried to make me a bathtub out of our stand up shower with duct tape, a tarp, and rope.. needless to say we had niagra falls visit us! When my sister and I were little we'd take baths together, but I always had to sit on the side where the faucet was..which of course I banged my head into numerous times. Dumb older sisters get all the perks!!

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Staci's Slimdown March 21, 2012 at 8:41 pm

I am just laughing and laughing. I love how you write. Well hey, at least you won. I consider it that you won because you ended up with a clean body, shaved legs, a relaxing one hour, a good workout getting out of the tub, AND you ended up back on your feet! Haha. Love it. :)

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Cee March 21, 2012 at 9:35 pm

Wow, what and ordeal! Glad you escaped the tub. My dog stares at me like that too and I am sure he thinks I am nuts.

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Matt, Kara, Hunter and Cavan March 21, 2012 at 9:55 pm

ahahahhaha Holy crap, my eyes are tearing up from laughing so hard!!

At least if you had to have been rescued at least your legs had been shaved!!

Good thing you have such a great sense of humour and are more than willing to share it!

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djf March 21, 2012 at 10:37 pm

LAUGHING…….SO………..HARD………….OH THE TEARS…………OH MY STOMACH……………..THANK YOU FOR THAT

I've got that wheeze laugh going on trying not to wake my husband………oh, hard to type while laughing……

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mommykinz March 22, 2012 at 3:40 am

Oh Holly – I'm so glad you can look back with humor. My situation was not as crazy but I had foot surgery and had to keep one mummified foot out of the water at all times, this led to a lot of huffing and puffing and flipping to try to lift myself up with one good leg.
Bet you can get in AND out of the bath now!!

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Ducky March 22, 2012 at 3:52 am

There is an award for you over at my place today! http://batcrapcrazy.blogspot.com/2012/03/those-who-dont.html

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Anonymous March 22, 2012 at 4:13 am

I think the 2 things that made me laugh the most was the picture of the dog and the fact that I can totally relate to what you said. I have had many battles with the tub and sometimes the tub wins. Thanks for posting the story it made me smile.

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Lady Amanda March 22, 2012 at 4:18 am

I hope people don't think I was mean responding with laughter- but I swear, it was hilarious. It really was. I can only laugh because I have gotten stuck in the tub every time I was pregnant and if it had not been for someone helping me I wouldn't have been able to get out. The picture of the dog was the icing on the cake- that is what put it over the top for me. The look on his face was beyond hilarious to me. It was as if he was watching a show- and yet, he wasn't going to lift a Paw to help you. And then of course the comment about the kids needing therapy- it was just too funny. Of course the whole time I am thinking…..hmmm maybe once you reach your goal you need to "get stuck in the tub" and HAVE to call the fire dept.- you know, as long as there are some hot firemen on call that day. Just sayin' ;-)

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Gia March 22, 2012 at 4:36 am

Hahahah I love how your dog just stares. That's no lassie.

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Sheila March 22, 2012 at 4:42 am

Okay, hilarious story (of course now that it's over and you DIDN'T have to call the fire department!) but what I find the most funny is that in the middle of all your pain and suffering you thought to take a picture of your dog. And I love the dog's expression. Once I was locked out of my house and our cat kept looking at me through the window…lord knows what he was thinking but I sure was thinking I wish paws could turn a lock!

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LuLu Kellogg March 22, 2012 at 4:49 am

Hi Holly!
I wandered over from Batcrap Crazy and am so glad I found you!
I had WLS in December of 2010 and have lost 150 pounds and am 6 pounds below goal :)

YIPPEEE for you and your loss! You are doing fantastic!

I love your sense of humor and will be keeping up with you during your journey. Keep up the great work. You look WONDERFUL!!

Much Love,
LuLu Kellogg

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❀❀ Dawn (Lay Down My Idols) ❀❀ March 22, 2012 at 5:40 am

Oh NO!!! That makes me feel sad, really. Your progress pics are AWESOME! Great job! Found you via Staci! Great to "meet" you! Keep inspiring me please! :)
Dawn

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Sandy March 22, 2012 at 6:04 am

I didn't start to laugh until I saw the pic of Coco. She stayed by your side. Now have you got back in the tub again? I have to tell you how much I enjoy your posts. You have come such a long way in not only hurling yourself out of the tub but also in hurling yourself forward in life. You truly have this drive. I can read it when you talk about your life, your kids and you.

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LoriBang March 22, 2012 at 6:44 am

OMG, this is SO hilarious as well as the comments! I can SO relate! When we built our new house 7 years ago I had a HUGE bathtub put in JUST for that reason. Its a corner tub for 2 people but lets be honest, hubby and I can NOT fit in there together..yet! Me…..in a tub? Not a pretty sight! The worst part is still the back fat and getting stuck on the slope of the tub. That farting noise is awful. It makes my kids giggle like hell though! Love the picture of the dog. My poodle looks at me the same way, and when I start to get out, she's gone! Smart dog, she doesn't want to get squashed if I slip! Keep up the great posts!

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Brenda March 22, 2012 at 6:45 am

Snort/Laugh……….sometimes you just gotta laugh to keep from crying. Wowza.

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Mike Turner March 22, 2012 at 6:52 am

Thanks for sharing this it was nice to have a good laugh starting the day, but this is also why I am a fan of the large walk in showers with a built in bench and the awesome wall of water jets :) , someday I actually hope to own one…

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Ronnie March 22, 2012 at 7:20 am

I've gotten stuck in the tub a time or two myself, not gonna lie. Great to look back on these things and realize how far you've come, huh? :)

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MandaPanda March 22, 2012 at 7:22 am

I admit I giggled my way through this post and I love the look on your dog's face…like "WTF?" :)

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Joy March 22, 2012 at 8:13 am

Funny and heartbreaking at the same time! Being fat limits life so much! So glad you are taking care of your health now!!

Keep focused!

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Carrie - ASassyRedhead.com March 22, 2012 at 9:51 am

Gosh I hate to giggle…but your humor is priceless!!

And let me tell you. I might not have been stuck in a tub before, but I SHO have been stuck in a pair of jeans. That were tight. Too tight to bend over and pull off my boots.

Even when they were unzipped.

And maybe I could wriggle the jeans down to my knees, but then I can't bend my knees to pull my foot up to pull off the boot.

It's a no-win situation.

So, you ain't alone on that getting stuck stuff. Not by a long-shot.

You're a doll. A total doll.

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spunkysuzi March 22, 2012 at 9:55 am

Too funny! I got stuck between the stove and the wall when I first moved in and decided to squeeze in to pick up garbage only I couldn't get back out :)

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Andrea (ace1028) March 22, 2012 at 10:26 am

I obviously don't mean to laugh – but your words and the way you recaptured the experience had me chuckling. I would probably have been laughing AND crying at myself had I experienced the same.

I found you over at Daffy's place and am in awe of your motivation and your current loss totals. Congrats to you and I look forward to following you along the road to continued healthier living. I'm right there with you with hopes I can stay on track. I've recently become motivated, myself, with hopes of staying so. Thanks for the kick in the behind. ;)

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Kelly March 22, 2012 at 12:53 pm

Oh my – I think the fact that your dog was watching you the whole time made it even funnier!

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Frickin' Fabulous at 40 March 22, 2012 at 2:56 pm

It's funny now, but not so much at the time, I'm sure!

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Rockin' Mama March 22, 2012 at 4:40 pm

Holly, do you remember when Manda was pregnant and her fingers swelled so badly that she couldn't get her wedding ring off? She tried everything: baby oil, butter, dipping her finger in ice water, etc, but that ring wouldn't budge. In desperation, she wrapped her finger tightly in Saran Wrap, and the ring finally came off! I wonder if that could have been a solution for getting out of the tub? The only thing left in the tub would have been the ring! Love and hugs!

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Holly from 300 Pounds Down March 22, 2012 at 4:43 pm

hahahahha….If only I had the kids bring me the saran wrap!!

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Holly from 300 Pounds Down March 22, 2012 at 4:44 pm

Hey everyone!! I may have fixsed the comments so they now pop up immediately. I still can't reply under your individual comment but soon I'll have that fixed too. I just loved reading everyone's bath trauma stories!! now I know I'm not alone . THANK YOU!!!

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DB March 23, 2012 at 7:16 am

I really have to applaud you for your humor. Your are such a beautiful person that can look at themselves and laugh, it isn't a trait that many have. Your progress has been OUTSTANDING and the humor makes it all the more amazing. I have to say I just about peed myself when I read Amanda's "reply email." I am excited to start following your journey.

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Vivian Pitschlitz March 25, 2012 at 1:15 am

Ha ha Holly so funny, my brother once got stuck between two shafts in an air conditioning vent. The worst was that he was inspecting it with two senior people in the company that he worked for. He had to endure embarresment of them pushing and pulling to get him released.

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Gen November 2, 2012 at 10:56 pm

Sorry, no laughter here. I’m sorry that happened. Feeling helpless sucks and I feel for you. Being stuck I can relate to. I was on my own (hubby on a business trip) with 2 dogs and me with a broken leg (both bones). It was while I broke it that I starting taking my cell with me….everywhere. Over a year later and still have take it and sit it on the stool by the tub/shower when I take a shower (still use a bench…that would be fear).
Gen recently posted..Thankfulness Day 2My Profile

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