So the other day I was talking to Amanda and she said to me
“Oh my gosh! Remember that time you got stuck in the tub? That was hilarious! You have to dig out that email you sent to me and post it on your blog because people will get a real kick out of it. I mean, I got stuck in the tub once when I was pregnant so people can probably relate, right? Plus it was just funny. People need a good laugh, ya know?”
So I went through my “sent” email folder looking for it but I couldn’t find it until I did a search for “hurled myself” in the search box and there it was!
I’m not sure if you will find this funny.
Or if you can relate.
Because I’m almost positive things like this only happen to me.
But just in case, here you go….
Ok you will never believe what happened to me last night. I got this bright idea to take a bath. I haven’t taken a bath in like 8 years at least. Maybe longer. I just got too big to fit. It’s similar to the issue I have of not being able to sit on the ground . If I were to sit on the ground I wouldn’t be able to get back up. There’s just too much of me for my body strength to pull back up. I also don’t have the strength in my legs and knees to push myself back up. But the other day I was feeling pretty good about how much weight I’ve lost. I started thinking that maybe I’ve lost enough to fit in the tub. And I did!!
Man I was so excited. Of course it was a tight fit but I was in. So I took this hour long bath, shaved my legs etc. It was awesome!!! But unfortunately I didn’t think the idea all the way through because the time came for me to get out of the tub. I know this sounds ridiculous but since I am crammed in the tub with no room to spare I can’t just maneuver easily. I also am clearly weak in spite of all my tabata timer and rubber band workouts because I can’t push myself up.
So there I was in the drained tub and unable to get out. It was AWFUL! I tried to push myself up from behind on my arms only to fall. I thought I was going to actually knock myself out. The kids kept coming in there trying to figure out how to get me out. hahaha..i’m sure they are traumatized. Finally I told them to just close the door and check on me every 10 minutes to make sure I hadn’t rendered myself unconscious trying to furiously fling myself out of the tub.
So do you know how I finally got out?? I hurled myself over the side. I took the towel and laid it on the ground next to the tub. Then I hurled my body as much as I could over the side so I was literally hanging halfway out of the tub over the side as far as I could. Then I just got some momentum going and slid straight out onto the towel and ground until I was laying completely face down on the bathroom floor but thank goodness I was out!! It took me another 15 minutes to get onto my hands and knees and then to push myself to a standing position. I was shocked I accomplished it. I threw out my left knee even worse than it was and even hit my face on the floor to the point where I actually have a slight black eye. A BLACK EYE. It looks like I got in a fight. Only the fight was between me, myself and I. And the tub. But at least I won! I think. Oh my gosh. Trust me if it hadn’t happened to me I would be laughing about it!
And the whole time Coco was just sitting there staring at me with this look on her face. I got a picture of it with my phone because Charlotte had placed it next to me in case I had to call 911 and have the fire department come physically remove me from the tub. Can you imagine?? Of all the nights for Savannah to go to the movies. I pick then to get in the tub. Not that my 16 year old daughter really wants to drag my butt out of the tub. Oh my gosh. My kids are going to need so much therapy.
But what if I had to call the fire department? Can you imagine. I mean really.
If you’re wondering what Amanda wrote me back it was something like this:
|Coco staring at me during the tub drama|