|Thin is coming back…………………………………….Big Hair–probably not…….|
So these are two pictures of me from a looooong time ago. Probably around college. The first one is me at a happy weight. Not rail thin but not overweight. If you notice, I’m wearing shorts in the picture because at the time I believed I was too chubby to take them off. Oh, to be 20 again! Now that I’m almost 40, I would love to have that figure. This is what happens when you’re young. You’re always so critical of your looks. You never think you’re thin enough. But when you get older, you look back and go “Not bad!”
The picture on the right is of me with Amanda, my best friend since 8th grade. We were probably 19 or 20 years old and just rounding out the 80’s. (Don’t say a word about my blazer with shoulder pads!) This is a night out when we decided NOT to do our hair that big! This is us taming it down! I’ve been waiting for big bangs and Farrah Fawcett hair to make a comeback but it doesn’t look like it’s going to happen. Big hair may not ever come back in style but thin is always in!
While I’d love to look like I was 20 again, that’s not really my goal. What I want to do is this
- Run around with my kids without having to reach for oxygen
- Clean my house without feeling like I just ran a marathon
- Walk around Walmart without having to stop at every bench for a break
- Sit in a booth at a restaurant
- Sit in a chair with arms
- Take my kids to Majestic Theatre without worrying that I won’t fit in the seats
- Enjoy the Riverwalk with my family (tight spaces!)
- Sleep in my bed at night and be able to lay down instead of sitting up b/c I can’t breathe
- Avoid knee surgery b/c the weight is doing damage
- Avoid full blown diabetes b/c it’s amazing I’m only ‘borderline’
- Avoid other obesity related health problems that are sure to come
- Be fit at 40 (1 year away!)
- Go to my kids sports games and activities (hauling chairs across the field, bleachers, etc. make this hard)
- Take my kids to Six Flags and Disney world and be able to fit in the rides
The list goes on and on. The point is this–it’s not really about my weight or my looks. This is about my kids, my quality of life, and my health.
How did I get this way in the first place?
- I started my married life about 30 lbs overweight
- I gained about 25 pounds with every pregnancy (times 4 kids) that I never really lost.
- I gained another 100 pounds after my divorce and living life as a single mom.
- Emotional Eating? Check!
And now for a poem….
Food is my best friend and worst enemy. I know this about myself and I’m fully prepared that emotional eating will not just go away even with surgery. A good part of this is in my head and in my heart. I’ve learned over the years that what you focus on usually grows. So:
- If you focus on food…..your waist grows
- If you focus on God, your faith grows
- If you focus on what you’ve lost, your depression grows
- If you focus on what you have left, your hope grows
It’s a formula that works.
Weight loss surgery is a tool. And I’m BLESSED that I will have this tool made available to me on June 28th, 2011. I know it can work because my brother had weight loss surgery two years ago and has since lost 250 pounds. Yes you heard me right…
I will be using his success as a model to go by. Prior to weight loss surgery, he had diabetes, congestive heart failure, CPAP machine. He has been cured of all three of those (yes even congestive heart failure which is a miracle!). In additon to this, he is now getting his credential to be a personal trainer AND he already has a waiting list of clients who have watched his transformation at the gym and LA Boxing. He is my inspiration!
Today starts my pre-op diet…ugh….but I don’t start this journey alone. God and I have been through so many trials and He’s never let me down. I’m ready for what He wants to teach me now!
I’m also ready to be fit, fine and 40!